Would you let it change your mind?

[motherofboys]

I had my last 2 babies at home, and was planning to have this one at home too. But our house is very small. Only 2 bedrooms and this is our 4th baby. We have now split our children between those two bedrooms and we sleep on a sofa bed down stairs.
I'm so worried that the midwife will judge me for this. I usually give birth in the living room anyway as the rooms are tiny and you could barely get around the double bed when we were up stairs. But then once the baby is born and I'm all cleaned up and the midwife wants to get me into bed, she'll have to wait while DH pulls out the sofa bed and prepares it all.
I'm just worried about what she will think of this, so much so that I'm considering going to hospital. But then I keep thinking about all sorts of problems with going to hospital like getting there in time etc
Would you worry about something like that or just brazen it out.

 

[MindUtopia]

Nope, I wouldn't let it worry me. Actually, I'd planned to give birth downstairs and then would have set up resting on the sofa anyway. As it happened, I ended up upstairs in my bedroom and it was just easy enough to get in bed. But for me the sofa is more comfortable for sitting up (and the tv is there in case we wanted to watch a film) and I pretty much just planned on camping out there as long as I could, so I wanted to be as comfortable as possible. Why not just say you want to rest downstairs for a bit so you can get your energy up and spend time with your family? Surely, the midwives don't care what you do. They'll be trying to clean up and finish their notes and go home, so I don't think they'd think it was too strange. If you want to be at home, definitely be at home.

 

[motherofboys]

Thanks, I didn't really think of that. Before they have wanted me to be in bed then finish their notes. I guess I could say I want to rest down stairs for a while.

 

[Smiler82]

Aw hun I know it is way easier to say "don't worry" than it is to actually not worry. But yeah I would just brazen it out and go for a home birth if that is what you want. I think MWs have seen so many different families and situations that she will probably barely raise an eyebrow at this, but I do understand why you're thinking this way. I worry a lot too but if you let the worry change your course of action I think yuo will just regret it. In a few months' time you won't even be seeing your MW anymore but you will be seeing your baby every day and you will want to look at him and smile with the memory of his birth, rather than look back with regret that someone who only features in your life for such a small time made you do something you didn't want to.

If it makes you feel any better you could fib a little and say you're just in between houses at the moment and you couldn't face moving whilst pregnant.

 

[BunnyN]

You could just say you plan to sleep downstairs for a few nights so you dont have to deal with climbing stairs. I lost quite a lot of blood and was told to avoid things like climbing stairs for 2 or 3 days after the birth.

 

[Pearls18]

Tbh it hadn't even occurred to me to birth upstairs, I always assumed I would birth downstairs (probably because I want another water birth though). I have no intention of getting straight into bed after birth either unless it is middle of the night, even then I imagine I'll be sat on our big comfy sofas watching TV while feeding!

 

[motherofboys]

When ever I have had a visit to arrange a home birth they have asked about birthing upstairs and I've said no because lack of space, then when I've got to bed afterwards they have agreed that it would have been too small. I was just worried about what they would think of my situation, the fact we don't have enough bedrooms and sleep down stairs as a permanent arrangement. But I guess they don't have to know its permanent.

 

[Pearls18]

When ever I have had a visit to arrange a home birth they have asked about birthing upstairs and I've said no because lack of space, then when I've got to bed afterwards they have agreed that it would have been too small. I was just worried about what they would think of my situation, the fact we don't have enough bedrooms and sleep down stairs as a permanent arrangement. But I guess they don't have to know its permanent.

It's none of their business hun it doesn't affect your ability to parent

 

[Guppy051708]

i would still go for the homebirth. To me, how i birth is more important than what a MW may think of my living situation (whom i may never see again or have very little to do with for the rest of my life). The birth is going to stick with your for the rest of your life. The MW wont. I say be humble and have the homebirth that you were hoping for.