WTT for baby no 2!

[newbie1992]

Hi Ladies!

I had my first baby just over 4 months ago and we are going to be TTC at the end of the year, hopefully November time.

After my first baby, as lots of others probably, I was definitely not having any more, but I've come round to the idea and I know that if I want anymore then I want them two years apart. My husband is definitely wanting more and would have another one today if he could, he's such a good dad to our little girl it makes me excited the thought of having a family.

I had a coil put in about 5 weeks after giving birth and haven't actually stopped bleeding yet, the nurse said that should stop soon but how soon before I start TTC should I have it removed? I don't know how quickly it all returns to normal??

Thanks!

 

[icegurl470]

Hey, same deal wtt for #2 shooting for a 2 yr age gap so we will be starting to try soon. Hubby has wanted another one since the day we brought our first home. I've had a winter pregnancy so now I'm going for a summer pregnancy, sucks I know, but I really want a fall baby. I had only been off the pill for a month before I got pregnant with my first. Was getting married and planned on letting it happen naturally. Well, found out a week before the wedding I was already pregnant lol oops! Anyway, not sure how it works with IUDs, but I would say at least one cycle. Ive been told a two yr age gap is kinda tough, but I wanted them as close together as possible, and I didnt want to be pregant and nursing, so as soon as shes done nursing, its on!

 

[newbie1992]

Hi!

I am the opposite, I had a September baby so now would love a summer baby, maybe June or something.

I know it will probably be so tough when they are young but I just want them to be closer when they are older. I have one sister who is six years older than me and we just never had anything in common and childhood could be a bit lonely so thats what im trying to avoid.

I have a little girl already which is what I dreamed of, so now I wouldn't mind either, although I will still find out! Planning the nursery and buying the clothes is the best part!

So excited. I loved the feeling of being pregnant! Especially as in the UK (dont know whereabouts you are) as of April this year they are making maternity and paternity equal so instead of just me taking the whole 52 weeks off, we will both take 26 weeks off together and then she will go to nursery.

I think I will have it removed around september time this year and then see what happens. Im also so pleased that now I have had one I know what to do/not do. i didnt breastfeed my first baby, because I just followed what my older sister had done.. but that was my biggest mistake, she is a very colicky baby and i think breastfeeding will make life so much easier, plus the goodness that it gives to the baby.

 

[icegurl470]

I have a little girl too, surprised me because my husband is one of 4 boys. If I got to choose I would want an older girl and a younger boy, so, so far so good! We're hoping for a boy the second time around. I'm in the US and we basically have no national or state laws regarding maternity. It all depends on the employer. I work for a very large, well known research lab and we just recently in the last 3 yrs adopted a maternity leave type benefit program for employees, so it's not a luxury many woman here have. 52 weeks is awesome! I heard Canada has a similar leave. Like I said it's different depending on where you work, but I could take up to 3 months off, meaning my job would be preserved for 3 months, not paid. We just recently adopted a short term disability benefit type thing where I work where postpartum woman could collect 2/3 of their pay for the first 6 wks. Like I said most woman dont get anything but if you do, it's usually 6 wks or 8 wks Cesarean. I was lucky, I had saved up enough sick and vacation time to take the first 6 weeks 2/3 pay (short term disability) and the last 6 wks vacation time. I will have to take some unpaid time off with the second one if I want to take the whole 3 months though. Whats the deal in the UK? I'm assuming the 52 wks only preserves the job? Do you get any sort of pay during that time?

 

[icegurl470]

Yes, breastfeeding is much better health-wise and in many ways easier. I like it because no matter where you are you can always flop and boob out and feed your baby no worrying about heating up a bottle and washing dishes lol. It's takes a lot of planning and dedication but its worth it. A breastfeeding law was actually just established through the healthcare reform act requiring all employers of more than 50 employees to provide a place for their employee to pump breast milk whenever the employee needs to for up to a year after the child's birth. It doesn't have to be paid mind you, but at least you cant legally lose your job over it. Luckily, my employer is cool with it either way. I have a nice little station set up in the bathroom that I retire to for 15 minutes 2-3 times a day (for a 10hr shift).

 

[newbie1992]

In the UK, each company has different schemes like you mentioned. So my company when I had my firs tbaby let me take all of my annual leave (25 days) then they did full pay leave for 8 weeks, half pay for 8 weeks and then the remainder (upto a total of 52 weeks) was paid on a statutory pay, mind you it is hard going, at just about £530 a month but its better than nothing and also your job is always on hold, theres no question about that..

 

[krissie328]

I am also WWT #2. My DS is current 6.5 months old. I think we are going to start NTNP in May and go from there. Since he is a July baby I am hoping for a spring baby and about 20-22 month age gap. I work in public education so if I can get lucky and have an March/April baby I will take the rest of the school year off and go back in August.

I tried so hard to breastfeed my DS but had no supply. I was literally getting less than oz out combined. So I had no choice but to bottle feed. My DS has done great and is a very happy and healthy little guy. It seems it might be genetic since my sister also had no supply even while on medication to help so I will probably end up bottle feeding again. Which I am fine with after a lot of frustration and tears it is what worked best for us.

And I really want a girl. I only want two babies so since we have DS I would really like a DD. But if I have another DS I would be very happy since the one we have is just a great little baby.

 

[icegurl470]

In the UK, each company has different schemes like you mentioned. So my company when I had my firs tbaby let me take all of my annual leave (25 days) then they did full pay leave for 8 weeks, half pay for 8 weeks and then the remainder (upto a total of 52 weeks) was paid on a statutory pay, mind you it is hard going, at just about £530 a month but its better than nothing and also your job is always on hold, theres no question about that..

That's awesome! Like I said 6 wks at 66% pay was a luxury I had that many other woman don't and the job is only on hold for up to three months. The health care over here is great but it's so expensive and there's little to no labor laws protecting people who get sick or have babies. Hopefully health care reform can change some of that.

 

[icegurl470]

I am also WWT #2. My DS is current 6.5 months old. I think we are going to start NTNP in May and go from there. Since he is a July baby I am hoping for a spring baby and about 20-22 month age gap. I work in public education so if I can get lucky and have an March/April baby I will take the rest of the school year off and go back in August.

I tried so hard to breastfeed my DS but had no supply. I was literally getting less than oz out combined. So I had no choice but to bottle feed. My DS has done great and is a very happy and healthy little guy. It seems it might be genetic since my sister also had no supply even while on medication to help so I will probably end up bottle feeding again. Which I am fine with after a lot of frustration and tears it is what worked best for us.

And I really want a girl. I only want two babies so since we have DS I would really like a DD. But if I have another DS I would be very happy since the one we have is just a great little baby.

Hey, you tired. You cant force your body to do something it doesn't want to do, no point beating yourself up about it. I got lucky supply has always been average, dipped a couple times but nothing major. Never had to try too hard. I actually only planned on nursing for 6 months but my routine had been set and my body was willing to keep chugging along so I decided to keep with it for the full yr. Got mastitis, passed a yeast infection back and forth with my baby for awhile after being on antibiotics for the mastitis, but all in all not too bad.

I really want a boy the second time around. I've read the timing can help increase the chances of either gender. Having intercourse close to ov increases chance of boy and before ov increases chance of girl. So, I've been tracking my cycle the last couple months and plan on dtd the day to two before ovulation. Heard waiting 3+ days before ovulation increases the chance of having girl. It seems to have held true for my first because, based on my recent findings, I ovulate a little late in my (30 day) cycle, like on the 19th - 20th and we dtd on the 15th day (that was the only day we did it, so I'm pretty sure that was the sex that conceived her lol). It will be hard if your cycle is not regular or if you're having trouble getting pregnant, but if you're not in any hurry it's worth a try

 

[kksy9b]

I'm waiting on baby #2 as well. My DS is 9 months old and we are waiting, most likely, until next spring to start trying. Our birthdays are all in the spring and would love a fall baby (if I can convince DH to start earlier!). I'm not picky on gender. We have a girls name so that part would be easy but I would love my DS to have a little brother to play with too.

I was very lucky that my company had a great maternity benefit. I took 6 weeks off as short term disability, 4 weeks parental leave and 2 weeks vacation time, all at 100% pay. I put my notice in with 2 weeks left on leave and got the remainder of my vacation paid out. It was nice because I actually was off 3 weeks before DS was born (he was 2 weeks late) and then 9 weeks before I left. I think it is ridiculous in the US that we do not have mandated leave and some mothers are forced back after 2-6 weeks because of financial reasons.

 

[newbie1992]

Do any of you ladies feel nervous about having a second baby?

I felt very nervous when i had my first baby, i did bond with her but i think straight away i was overwhelmed with anxiety. I found it very hard first of all, she cried all day and didn't ever really settle in her crib or sleep too much (well it felt like she was up 24/7!) and the sleep deprivity totally got to me.

I actually have an amazing husband, she is now 4 months old and I've been back at work just over a month already (my choice as i felt too anxious being at home all day and we needed the money). The situation now is that he works five minutes away and shifts such as 10-7 or 1-10 so he does EVERY night feed, well she sleeps through 99% of the time so down at 10.30 and up at 6.30 and i do all of the housework.. it works fine for us.

but the issue I'm having is if i feel that i perhaps struggle with one.. what am i going to do with two little babies??

My brain tells me don't do it whilst she is young because you don't want two babies who are totally dependable on you, better to have one who can feed themselves and occupy themselves, but my heart tells me that i need to have them close together and i want them to grow up being best friends and that i will get used to it.

How do you all feel??

 

[krissie328]

I am really nervous to have #2 and have a lot of anxiety about it. But I know I want 2 and feel like it is better to have them a little closer. I know ultimately I will adapt and make it through.

 

[kksy9b]

I agree with Krissie. I have a lot of anxiety about it and, do me, I think it stems from still having a baby. My LO has always been a champion nurser and for the first 6 months or so would eat an hour at a time with 2-3 hours at bedtime. My thought during all of that was "how in the world will I manage this when I have a toddler running around too!?!" But in the end we will all adapt and find a system that works.