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- Thread starter MoonLove
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Quartz
Mum of 2
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Have you spoken to anyone about this - I think its an association that if possible it would be good for you and her if you could break as it Ill be honest the fact that you have managed to get this far without someone coming into your room.
I dont see anything wrong with saying to her that your room is your room but I think you have to allow her to come in if she is scared - to me her behaviour is showing that something at night/sleeping is making her anxious and she does not know what to do.
In terms of how to handle it I will give you an example last night I was woken by my DD (who is 61/2) at the end of the bed terrified because she had a nightmare that people grabbed her off the street and kidnapped her and then were mean to her. She came in with us had a cuddle and went back to sleep. We talked about how it was just a dream this morning and she was fine I reassured her and she moved on. She was clearly distressed at the time and a cuddle and reassurance sorted it. I did not see it as breaching my sanctuary but simply tending to my daughter who needed me.
I dont see anything wrong with saying to her that your room is your room but I think you have to allow her to come in if she is scared - to me her behaviour is showing that something at night/sleeping is making her anxious and she does not know what to do.
In terms of how to handle it I will give you an example last night I was woken by my DD (who is 61/2) at the end of the bed terrified because she had a nightmare that people grabbed her off the street and kidnapped her and then were mean to her. She came in with us had a cuddle and went back to sleep. We talked about how it was just a dream this morning and she was fine I reassured her and she moved on. She was clearly distressed at the time and a cuddle and reassurance sorted it. I did not see it as breaching my sanctuary but simply tending to my daughter who needed me.
noon_child
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I didn't get PND but I do understand some of the panic you feel (can't believe you had a second child - I've not gone there yet). When my LO has a bad dream I feel literally sick with the thought that we will both be up all night. BUT it is amazing how rarely we have a terrible night, and it is usually caused by me trying to get back to sleep too quickly without reassuring her enough, or not wanting to submit to the reality that some dreams are bad enough that she needs to share our bed for the night. The reality is she isn't a baby and now thank goodness she can explain what is wrong and understand my reassurance. I agree with PP that maybe you need some help learning how to let go of the past reality and embracing the new one, because you wasted 5hrs (when you could have been sleeping) worrying that you weren't going to get any sleep, which ended up being worse than what she would have brought you!
Reading this it appears to me that your daughter is sensing your anxiety about bedtimes and night times, of course she doesn't understand why you are anxious but she is thinking there is 'something' to be anxious about at night times.
I totally get what you are saying, I dread mine waking up as I'm the same the nights are for relaxing and having 'you' time but my 2 year old has been waking most nights and getting into bed with me and we all sleep well. They are only little once and I think as yours get older they will understand but it must be quite confusing that mummy's room is a no go area! Maybe that's why she is so focused on the stairs!
I totally get what you are saying, I dread mine waking up as I'm the same the nights are for relaxing and having 'you' time but my 2 year old has been waking most nights and getting into bed with me and we all sleep well. They are only little once and I think as yours get older they will understand but it must be quite confusing that mummy's room is a no go area! Maybe that's why she is so focused on the stairs!
