Your relationship since being pregnant?

[MummyBurgo]

Me and my hubby are going through a bad patch at the mo,I dont think its to do with the baby but other things been going on to cause it. Just hope it gets better coz I really think this could be the end of us.

 

[AP]

My relationship has fallen apart since getting pregnant. My husband decided today that if I don't let him buy a car before the baby is here that hes not going to support me, pay my bills, or be with me anymore. Oh and did I mention he called me the worlds biggest bitch of a wife, a ****, and said I made him miserable.

The whole car thing came up during our rough patch too, he was like "Ooooh i'll never be able to get a car blah blah blah!" I ignored it.

Its not the end of the world. he can have a car if he wants! Jeez!

Soon after he said he loved me but didnt want to be with me, that I too was a b*tch. I left him to it.

He soon realised there i was, getting the full benefit of his child and he couldnt share anything with me now, as he wasnt getting near me.
Imagine, no more scans for him to see, no more heartbeat and kicks for him to feel...

He soon woke up, and as my bump grew, he is now prob more excited than me!

 

[aimee-lou]

Our relationship is fab. It always has been. If anything we've gotten closer as we talk more, about the baby, about the future, about how we're feeling. We are really in tune with one another and the problem is if one of us is feeling down, then the other feeds off it. We learnt a long time ago to talk to one another straight away. Now hubby knows everything, sickness, bowels, the works!

We have our moments - doesn't everyone- but I love him so much. We tell each other everyday and our marriage is the best thing to have happened to me (so far of course!)

 

[Pyrrhic]

In my experience, if you are having a hard time when pregnant it only gets worse and more stressful when the baby is here.

Hopefully people won't have the same experience as me though.

 

[nfm3]

I think pregnancy is a crisis situation that can break some relationships. If you had a solid relationship before--barring some serious type of infraction (cheating, violence...etc)--I always make it a point to take things with a grain of salt until things settle down.

That said--my husband has been wonderful. We had more difficulty my first pregnancy when he was completely clueless and a little nervous about becoming a dad. Also for my second pregnancy when I went into premature labor at 30 weeks and had to be on bedrest for the rest of the pregnancy--because he was scared silly and had to work and manage our toddler. Always consider the context of the situation. I'm gald we didn't make any rash choices during those times. I'm so glad to be married to him.

 

[angelstardust]

You can't really expect a relationship to be all roses and love hearts all the time. It's supposed to change and mature as you do. Think a lot of people expect it be the same as it was in the first few years and it's simply not the case. So many seem to split because 'it's just not the same'.

Maybe it's just me....

Anyway, my DH went and had the snippy snip on Monday as contraception doesn't seem to work with me. I'd say he's doing his bit.

 

[adzuki]

Ugh! My OH has been a pain in the butt through this! He was great during 1st trimester, but then became the sh*ts during second trimester. We almost separated when he had a violent outburst and smashed something - he'd never done that before! He was going through a mid-life crisis (still is) where he feels incredibly trapped by me and LO. I think part of this is the fact that he didn't process all of what an LO would mean before we started trying (been married 5 years, TTC 4 months) - he didn't question his culture's pressure to have kids, it was just his duty. So while I took our 5 years as time to prep mentally and physically for this, he nagged me about when we could start trying (because everyone in his home country was no doubt nagging him!). I think when I started getting a bump and being less able to do for myself/us (he relies WAAAAY too heavily on me while we are living here), and the onus was on him to do some of the more physical stuff, he cracked.

We've worked out a lot, but it still is up and down. Our last fight was about him leaving things strewn about the apartment - after tripping and falling numerous times, and requesting him to help me keep myself safe numerous times, I just lost it on him. He now defaults to threats of leaving, which makes me feel scared and resentful, and I am starting to pull away TBH. He just won't follow through on counselling or anything. So I am not sure where we are at. It will probably get more difficult before it gets easier. But he's got to realize that he is involved here, rather than tossing blame out to everyone else. He has got to make some changes in the way he thinks and does things in order to take responsibility for his own happiness. His mom can't make him happy, I can't make him happy, this baby can't make him happy, his beloved home country can't make him happy - only HE can make himself happy - and he is refusing to see that, so I imagine a bumpy path ahead for us.

Am I a b*tch for resenting him for putting me on this roller coaster at this time? Sigh. I wanna be selfish too!



A

 

[angelstardust]

Us women are planners, we know what it will be like with a baby, men are more 'in the moment'. They don't plan, they just do. And then a part of their brain kicks in and they realise that things will change and they don't know how to deal with that. It takes them a lot longer to accept changes. In a way they are like children, only their tantrums are larger and we can't accept that they can't accept changes like we can because they are adults.

You will get through it and yes it will be hard, but anyone who thought having a family was going to be plain sailing was kidding themselves. In a few years you will look back and it won't seem so bad.

 

[Pink_Witch]

mine has been fab,well tbh it was before we got preg. It took us 2 years ttc to get preg,and i had the threat of spd looming over my head, yeah we argue who doesnt,but nothing serious and its soon forgotten.

For the last 3/4 months i have been pretty much dependant on his support due to the spd, and he has thankfully been in a position to have lots of time off work as his place is really slack at the moment,so he has been able to be here most days to do the school runs and the cooking etc which has meant i have been able to rest as much as i can.

He has been a total star, and it has been brilliant having the chance to spend as much time together as we have been, and i am very lucky to have suchg a wonderful supportive husband x

 

[jelix9408]

me and my OH still love each other dearly .. but we argue a bit more because me being hormonal ... my mood swings are crazyyy .. but hes still sticking by my side so im happy about that one. im sure everything will get better with the arguing once the baby comes .. but hope all works out for you!

 

[AnotherMrs]

DH has been an absolute angel. Each time I've been sick, he rushes in to comfort me and clean any messes. If I let him, he'd wait on me hand and foot. In all actuality, he's more excited than I am and he understands why I'm not yet.
I'm more worried about the relationship after the baby is born... I heard a lot of couples start to break apart.

 

[Komatsu]

My OH has been amazing . We didn't plan this pregnancy but he was thrilled when we found out and has been incredibly loving , supportive and understanding throughout everything . I think this pregnancy has really brought us closer together and strengthened our relationship .

 

[bubbness]

My OH has been nothing but selfish since day one. Goes out drinking every weekend with his "buds". Tells me he'll call me later and then he "forgets" to call. Actually had the nerve to say to me one night oh, i forgot all about you!!!! WTF??????? If I say anything to him he flies off the handle. I'm over stressing out about him. Not good for me nor the LO. He'll find his butt on the curb if he doesn't smarten in a few weeks time. I haven't had the easiest pregnancy so far so it really hurts that he isn't here for me on weekends.

 

[ellie]

sorry for those who are having problems with their oh's ... guess they all deal with it in their own ways ...

my oh has mostly been great and much more concerned about my welfare than usual , excited and telling everyone (even when i'd rather he didn't), he thinks i am negative and paranoid for worrying that something might go wrong. we've had a few minor blips where our expectations have been different, but soon sorted out. we had a very rough patch about 3 years ago and things were really strong after that. only thing is our sex life has pretty much disappeared ... well tbh it had done months ago, it was only ttc'ing that got us together in that way ... which is a shame as it used to be really good... not sure how to address that now, i guess I have been waiting to get to 2nd tri so we can be less nervous generally.

 

[LousMom]

My DH goes between being an absolute angel and doing everything on earth for me and the DD and then he's the total opposite and grumpy and confused. He's stressed! He's losing sleep, he can't use the bathroom regularly, and he's always tired.

I think he's just overwhelmed. In the grand scheme of things, he's a doll and loves us.

 

[NewToThis_x]

My OH isnt my OH anymore as we split up a few days ago..apparently the "stress of the pregnancy" was getting to him

 

[caitlenc]

I am so sorry for all of you who have been having difficulty in your relationships. I definitely think pregnancy is a stressful time on all involved, but every lady on here deserves the love, support, and understanding of her OH.

I am very lucky. My DH is incredibly supportive and excited about the baby. We are newlyweds, and we were trying, but we are also older (I'm 34, he's 39), and have waited a long time for marriage and a baby. I was married once before to a man who probably would have beena total selfish jerk if we had a child together, so I am incredibly thankful that my hubby is the way he is.

 

[cinnamongirl]

Our relationship has had its ups and downs, but we both have come from some shitty past relationships, so we both know what we want and don't want. So, we are always aware of how we treat one another. OH has been fantastic since I've become preg. He buys me flowers (well, he does that anyways), and brings me all my fav goodies...even goes out to the store at nite when I feel like eating something totally ridiculous and doesn't complain (just rolls his eyes)!

I think alot has to do with the fact that we were apart for 10 years, and had a chance to sample the other 'fish in the sea'...we both realized that the only fish we wanted was each other! Now, we are like gold to each other cuz we know what we have is special, and we don't want anyone else!

To all the girls that are having a rough go, I'm so sorry...u shouldn't have to deal with that while being preg! But, hopefully OH's will smarten up, or they could lose the best things in their lives! Men can be so childish sometimes!

 

[massacubano]

how is everyones relationship with their OH been since finding out they were pregnant? I am just being a bit nosey tbh. Mine has honestly nearly fell to pieces, we just arent the same with each other anymore. Anyone having the same problem, anyones relationships got better since finding out?

we have been married almost 10 years so it has not changed much at all. I just am a bit snippier and slow to chase him in a fight LOL

 

[MissyMojo]

i find im more frustrated with oh than i was b4 my my oh has had a lot of time off this last month and done hardly anythin about the house, so i blew up at him tonite, we love each other very much , and even b4 bfp we had these little fights usually after he's had to much leave , i just hope he starts doing more around the house as i get bigger