Your right to be MY birthing partner???!!! Don't bloody think so "MATE"!!!

[McLovin]

Hi Ladies,

Don't have internet at home at the moment so thankfully I have had time to calm down since this 'happened'!

I asked FOB (who I unfortunately live with) if he's sure he's sure he's up to the job of being my birthing partner because I'd understand if he wasn't.
He replied with "Christ you can't take that away from me too"
I asked him if he understood what the job entailed to which he replied "rubbing your head and telling you that you're doing good"

I understand some of you may think I should be greatful that he wants to be at the birth of his son - but if only you knew....

He constantly accuses me of all sorts i.e. I'm not going to let him see our baby, that I'm not going to let his parents see baby, that I'm going to raise him to be a 'pikey' (based on the fact I'm not planning on going back to work until he's 2 years old, which I don't see a problem with seeing as he's not going to need NIKE trainers before then so I'd prefer to raise him myself!) - oh yeah another accusation, I only planned to have kids so that I can sit on my arse all day and not have to work. Basically the list of insulting accusations is endless. He has been everything but supportive since day one of this pregnancy and made it a complete misery - I don't want him ruining my labour experience too.... and he thinks I'm being selfish and "taking the experience from him"

Am I being unreasonable here? I really really think he is being a prick (as per bloody usual)

I mean, bear in mind I haven't actually said he "definitely can't be in the room" I have just said that I'm not sure I will want him there, and that I think I'd rather go it alone.

He compared himself to Dwight York yesterday as well. I haven't read the papers about him and Jordan - but my FOB basically said that Dwight did an interview saying how he tried to see Harvey and Katie never let him so he gave up. OUR BABY ISN'T EVEN HERE YET!

HE is a pathetic excuse for a man I tell you - THIRTY-TWO YEARS OLD!!!
Who would have thought it???!!!


Sorry for the rant ladies and thanks for reading - guess I hadn't calmed down as much as I thought lol : )

I'm just so fed up with this I'm so worried my baby boy is going to come out miserable because my misery hormones have been going to him for the last 6 months. I just wish I had somewhere to run away to so I don't have to be around him until he's born.

 

[lou_w34]

Your a lot more patient than me, thats for sure! Is there any way you can move out soon? Even if it means living with your mum for a bit?

He sounds like he's being an arse at the moment, i understand he's worried, but he could talk to you about how he's feeling... rather than just accuse you straight away.

I also think your amazing to have him be your birthing partner! Im not having my FOB anywhere near me when i give birth, he will only stress me out horribly! I know it will be their experience too, but in my opinion, YOU will be the one doing the hard work, and you dont need to be stressed out, after all, its your experience aswell, not just his.

Maybe tell him if he doesnt start to be more considerate to your feelings, its looking less likely that you even want him at the birth.

Sorry, i dont have much advice really!

 

[Lkeecey]

Aww im sorry that its not going well with him for you. But when it comes down to it, its YOUR labour, your body, and you need to have the environment and the people with you that will support you through it. If that's without him, then so be it. He's made his bed (with his comments and attitude), now he'll have to lie in it! You have to decide what you want, don't be influenced by anyone else.
Good luck hun xx

 

[broodylocket]

me and FOB are on rocky patches atm, and i told him i dont want him to be my labour partner as he stresses me out and i want my mum there. he can be at the hospital but not while im in labour room. but he thinks it his right to be there, erm no.
do what you want and if u dont want him there, tell him so. as it takes so much to be a birthing partner.

 

[McLovin]

thanks Ladies. You know sometimes you just need reassurance that you're not in the wrong because all those men are such angels in everything they do!

x

 

[DizzyMoo]

If you don't feel 100% comfortable having him at the birth then your answer is no he shouldn't be your birth partner. Just because he may be the bio does not auto grant him a ticket to be there. If you both had split but he had been ok with you & amicable, no name calling or the likes then i can imagine you wouldn't of minded but the fact he is a complete arse? Nah hun you need to have the labour you want & the birth partner you want if you want one. It will/would make it hard work & you want a labour you can hopefully enjoy & remember for the right reasons xx

 

[Ash_P]

Its completely up to u, just make the decision that will make u most comfortable. U need to be as stress free and comfortable as u can be during the labour. Baby will sense if ur on edge. I told FOB i didnt want him in the room, he can wait outside but hes not getting in. He will be informed when i go into labour and hes his choice if he can be arsed to come to hospital or not.
Im taking my sister in with me. I know she will keep me calm, put me at ease and reassure me im gonna be ok. Fob doesnt offer any of those things to me at the minute, and hasnt done since we split so I cant see it changing in next 3 months.
I personally dont feel he has the rite too see my body, in a position like child birth. I will probably feel vunerable and petrified so I need someone supportive.

Dont let anyone influence ur decision, do what is best for u and baby.
Good luck hun x

 

[babybaillie]

I am going through the same thing as u right now. Its so hard as the FOB has made it clear he wants to see his baby being born. But i want sumone that can support ME.. and i dont think he cares about that part. U have to do whats rite for u. Givin birth is when u will be at ur most vulnerable, and u need support.