Yucky Day

[lizziedripping]

What a nightmare - today I feel really down. As I listen to my beautiful children playing happily with my DH in the other room, all I can feel is empty.

Been trying for baby #3 for 8 months now, precision timing, optimum conditions, but on CD 25................not a sausage To make matters worse, I took a First Response HPT yesterday lunchtime and it showed a 'dodgy' positive. It had two pink, faint test lines instead of one!!?? I was puzzled, but obviously assumed a true positive until proven otherwise. For 6 long hours I really believed I was preggo - it was wonderful (warm and fuzzy - you know the feeling, nothing else beats it). Anyhow, this morning's early repeat test confirmed what I had begun to suspect - test was faulty, and not in my favour - this morning test was negative

What a bloody cruel twist!!!!!! When I phoned First Response helpline woman was lovely, and claimed that test must have been positive, even if it did show two test lines (bless her). As much as I would love to believe it, and keep hoping that positive isn't yet confirmed cos somehow my urine concentration is different today (you know the arguments), alas I have to be brutally honest with myself. Not prolong the agony...........

Anyone else conceived several previous pregnancies within first month of trying, but suddenly struggling to conceive baby #3/4 or 5? Of course I'm also racked with guilt at feeling like this, when there are thousands of women who are still trying to conceive baby #1 - I feel so bloody ungrateful - aaagh, why is this so hard? Much love x

 

[JASMAK]

I can def relate to how you are feeling. Although it wasn't easy for me to get pregnant with baby #1, and even more hard to get pregnant with #2. Trying for baby #3 has proved to be most difficult. This first 8 months were BFN after BFN. Then I became pregnant...and after several weeks, it ended in m/c. Four months later, I became PG again...m/c. Then 10 months of BFN after BFN, I was finally put on Clomid. First round-pregnant. A week later, m/c. Here I am on round two, first round after my last m/c. BFN. December 1st marks my two year TTC anniversary...and it SUCKS SH*T.

Anyways, you have def found the right place, and I hope that your test proves to be correct and that you really are PG. Fingers crossed.

 

[lizziedripping]

Thanks for your reply, and so sorry to hear how difficult the past 2 years have been for you

I must say, getting pregnant for me should have been the easy part, staying pregnant will be the next hurdle (same as you honey). I gave birth to my second child 16 weeks early due to incompetent cervix - we had 5 months of hell/hospital visits before bringing her home on oxygen. I really thought that my stress would not be in getting pregnant, but in the months that followed - having a cervical cerclage put in at 12 weeks, bed rest, general fear etc etc. Little did I suspect that the getting pregnant would be so frustrating - maybe God is trying to tell me something "Don't risk a second preemie!!"

It's amazing though when you start 'sharing' with other women, how you come to realise you are not alone. Love and Best Wishes in your quest for #3 xxx