Husband blew up in front of my whole family

[Unlucky41]

I am so angry and upset today!

Yes our toddler has been very naughty won't do anything with a lot of convincing!

Today my sister celebrated with a huge banquet the birth of her twins. Our toddler was so naughty wouldn't sit in her high chair wanted to sit on my lap. Then she wanted to go outside and have a walk. We said no it is a special party. I then let her go down on the floor to walk about.

She was playing with the balloons and then dropped it on the ground so her cousin picked it up and then she startes to cry. We got her more balloons and some how the girls two toddlers started to fight again.

My husband lost it took my daughter and went upstairs to the carpark saying he would take her home. This is in front of my whole family my aunties and uncles so embrassing. I know he has a bad temper but never did he lose it so badly in front of his daughter. I thought he was a changed man!

Now I am so scare that this temper will just get worse with our second coming. So disappointing having to battle infertlity then a crazy husband.

Thanks ladies for listening just so upset and angry. Can't even talk to him at the moment. We left the party without finishing desert and saying goodbye to anyone. He is so rude his upbringing is just so bad. Can't stand him.

My poor daughter kept asking for daddy. I told her daddy angry with you because you were naughty. Surely there is better ways to disciplining your daughter then in public!

 

[6lilpigs]

What a shame it ended that way for you all. Your little girl was sounded like any other toddler in an exciting environment Hopefully your DH realises that he over did it a bit so will know when to recognise next time when hes going to make a scene and avoid it better x

 

[ferens06]

Your daughter doesn't sound naughty, I think your husband needs to realise what toddlers are like if something as simple as that makes him that angry. Toddlers are not perfectly behaved children who will sit for a meal then wait to get down like adults. Or not get upset over things.

So sorry you're having to deal with his behaviour when pregnant. Have you talked to him today?

 

[zorak]

Your daughter doesn't really sound like she was being that naughty. It's unreasonable to expect a toddler to sit for a meal like an adult would. Of course they'd want to run about!

It sounds like your husband needs to work on his own behaviour management.

 

[misspriss]

That sounds like normal toddler behavior, hopefully your husband can understand what is normal and is not.

I am a bit confused as to what you consider "blowing up" though, did he yell and scream and throw a fit, or just say "okay, you are not behaving, we are going to leave", which is an appropriate level of punishment for a MISBEHAVING toddler/preschooler, although it sounds like your LO was not really misbehaving.

 

[hanni]

How old is she if you don't mind me asking?
By she sounds of it she really wasn't naughty and was just being a toddler. That's what they do. It's unfair to make her feel guilty and blame her because your husband wasn't happy. I'm sorry you had a rubbish time.

 

[Bevziibubble]

That sounds completely normal behaviour for a toddler and although it's frustrating for the parents she's not trying to be naughty. It wasn't very fair for your husband to blow up like that at her. Sorry you didn't have a good time

 

[redneckhippy]

I'm also curious what you meant by blown up. As PP mentioned there's definitely a difference between making a big scene yelling and just saying we have to go and leaving. Ether way, sorry you had a bad time and that you guys weren't on the same page.

 

[Quartz]

First off the problem seems to be neither of you seem to realise what normal toddler behaviour is. As pp have said she was not being naughty she was simply saying that she did not want to be in her high chair and sit through a special party. Imagine if someone strapped you into a chair and said right you sit there and you had no idea why you were being asked and what you really wanted to do was walk around because it was boring.

It also sounds as if no one knew how to deal with two toddlers fighting over the same balloon (entirely normal) and something that if you are going to have two is going to be a regular occurence!

How did he lose it exactly?

 

[Twag]

Sounds like normal toddler behavior to me and believe me with 2 of them they rarely sit still for long

Sorry your DH ruined the day and embarrassed you in front of your family

 

[Mrs.H2016]

I'm going to be the odd person here but I think your hubby was just having a bad day and lost his shit. From your post it doesn't sound like he caused a huge scene but it does sound like he was not in the mood for the behaviour. Perhaps he was just tired of it. We all have days like that and just because one out burst I wouldn't say he needs behaviour management.
Your family should understand that perhaps he just wasn't feeling like putting up with the "terrible toddlers" as I call them.
Sorry but I wouldn't be so hard on him at all. Toddlers are tough, I have a few of them and some days just plain suck.
Don't sweat the small stuff and I wouldn't make either feel guilty for what happened that day. I wouldn't be telling a toddler daddy is angry because of her regardless of how it's explained; belittling your spouse is not good.

 

[staralfur]

I also don't really see what he did as "blowing up" and as Mrs.H said we all have those days when we have a little less patience. It's unfortunate that it resulted in you guys having to leave, but unless he frequently overreacts to those kinds of situations I'd say it was a bad day, and while you're entitled to feel upset about the way he handled it I don't think it needs to be a constant worry for you.

 

[Teri7489]

First off the problem seems to be neither of you seem to realise what normal toddler behaviour is. As pp have said she was not being naughty she was simply saying that she did not want to be in her high chair and sit through a special party. Imagine if someone strapped you into a chair and said right you sit there and you had no idea why you were being asked and what you really wanted to do was walk around because it was boring.


It also sounds as if no one knew how to deal with two toddlers fighting over the same balloon (entirely normal) and something that if you are going to have two is going to be a regular occurence!

How did he lose it exactly?

That was a horrible and harsh response. This page is for support and advice, not condescending messages that make parents feel worse!

As for the OP, I hope everything has settled. My hubby has had a few days where he gotten so mad with our kids that he's walked away or made us leave. He actually acts more like a child than they do and it's embarrassing, especially in front of family. Maybe he just snapped this once and it won't happen again or maybe time to lay down the law and tell him it was really out of order. I know I've had to do the latter. Big hugs! xxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

I'm going to be the odd person here but I think your hubby was just having a bad day and lost his shit. From your post it doesn't sound like he caused a huge scene but it does sound like he was not in the mood for the behaviour. Perhaps he was just tired of it. We all have days like that and just because one out burst I wouldn't say he needs behaviour management.
Your family should understand that perhaps he just wasn't feeling like putting up with the "terrible toddlers" as I call them.
Sorry but I wouldn't be so hard on him at all. Toddlers are tough, I have a few of them and some days just plain suck.
Don't sweat the small stuff and I wouldn't make either feel guilty for what happened that day. I wouldn't be telling a toddler daddy is angry because of her regardless of how it's explained; belittling your spouse is not good.

Totally agree..We all lose our shit now and then, it's allowed in my book.. As long as no physical abuse, sometimes enough is enough and we just break, it is normal and to me expected here and there

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

First off the problem seems to be neither of you seem to realise what normal toddler behaviour is. As pp have said she was not being naughty she was simply saying that she did not want to be in her high chair and sit through a special party. Imagine if someone strapped you into a chair and said right you sit there and you had no idea why you were being asked and what you really wanted to do was walk around because it was boring.


It also sounds as if no one knew how to deal with two toddlers fighting over the same balloon (entirely normal) and something that if you are going to have two is going to be a regular occurence!

How did he lose it exactly?

That was a horrible and harsh response. This page is for support and advice, not condescending messages that make parents feel worse!

As for the OP, I hope everything has settled. My hubby has had a few days where he gotten so mad with our kids that he's walked away or made us leave. He actually acts more like a child than they do and it's embarrassing, especially in front of family. Maybe he just snapped this once and it won't happen again or maybe time to lay down the law and tell him it was really out of order. I know I've had to do the latter. Big hugs! xxx

Her response wasnt harsh, its called REALITY.

 

[Unlucky41]

Thanks ladies for putting it until perspective for me. I think my husband is starting to lose his patience with his daughter but at times she does deserve some disciplining. Just very embarrassing in front of my whole family. He has never yelled at her so loud before.

Recently he has started to threatened her more and get very moody with me! At the moment I had feel he is not a loving husband or father just an impatient angry man! Just disappointing!

Today I asked him to pick up my sister birthday cake while my toddler who is 2 year 5 months had a nap. He went to the wrong shop to pick up the cake and messaged me things like you are such a waste of time etc. He stuffed up but able to turn it around on me.

Anyway I am just going to try and avoid him and enjoy my precious time with my daughter. It is so funny though the more he scolds her the more she is seeking for his love!

Thanks again everyone