think im depressed :(

[leoniebabey]

when LO was born i was fine but then my life just got shitter and shitter
constart arguments, controll and then being assaulted of my ex, but i was ok i got through it i had my nan there for support but then in september she passed away (i lived with her from being small). So that really messed me up and since then i just havnt been able to pick myself up. I hate my family there all so insenitive so never really get any support of them at all.
Team all that with a LO that cried literally ALL day and i just cant bear my shit life any more.
some days i just dont feel that i want to be here any more because its just constant crying no matter what i try to do he just crys and screams and kicks off. It doesnt help that my family and everyone else just shrug it off as if i'm making it up which im not this is a typical day:
Wake up: Cry
Go downstairs: put him down to get bottle, cry till i return
Feed: cry when i take bottle away till i get weetabix
Give weetabix: sometimes he crys in between mouthfuls
Put on mat to get dressed ect.: cry as soon as i lay him down till i pick him back up and he's dressed
Cry's till he falls asleep which sometimes he doesnt which results in him not eating his dinner.
if he has a nap he'll eat his dinner and then cry when i wipe his face, cry when i change him bum and cry till he has a nap.
He has a little bit play and then crys so he has tea, crys again for another bum change, crys because he's tired
Go upstairs: put him in cot to run bath SCREAMS till i get back and pick him up sometimes wont stop resulting in no bath.
screams when i put him on the mat to dry him after his bath and crys till the bottles is in his mouth.

Im at my wits end i dont know what to do anymore, i hate being on my own so much all i want is someone to take him for 5 mins when he's being difficult but i have no1, i have no1 to take over when my arms ache. noone even come round and help or offers to give me a break but then they brag on saying oooh i've had a night out, i've had my hair done.

He's usually okay when other people are here im pretty sure he hates me, he's okay when we go out but it's getting out thats the problem because he wont let me put him down to shower/pack the bag or do anything.

why do i have such a difficult child? I've spent the full day in tears because he's screamed ALL day and nobody woud come over to help me all i needed was someone to come over and hold him while i got sorted but no no everyones so wrapped up in their own lives to help us out.

and then i have my family saying my house is a mess, which it is because i never have the time to do it and even when i do all i feel like doing is nothing because i feel so down

 

[Rhio92]

I'm so sorryhun I wish I had some advice for you... PM/FB me if you ever need to talk or anything x

 

[leoniebabey]

just realised how long it ended up
im just soo super stressed anyways but the constant having to carry him is really getting me down. I just cant enjoy him or be happy about him because i just feel down about everything he does then when i complain about what he does people just say im over exaggeration 'oh thats what babies do' no, normal babies dont cry ALL day long x

 

[xoButterfly25]

Sorry hun, I don't have any advice for you but just wanted to give you big hugs xx

 

[Miss_d]

Can you maybe speak with your health visitor for some advice? sounds like he does cry alot and that is draining in itself, what about maybe taking him swimming where your holding him he might feel safe in the water, it might tire him out and then get some you time? i really dont know what else to say sorry x

 

[leoniebabey]

thanks hun
ah i just go to sleep feeling shit and dread waking up because i know tomorrow will be exactly the same thing

 

[oliviarose]

I'm so sorry you feel like this and nobody wants to help. Have you spoken to your health visitor and explained everything. They may be able to put you in touch with people who could help. Xxx

 

[leoniebabey]

Can you maybe speak with your health visitor for some advice? sounds like he does cry alot and that is draining in itself, what about maybe taking him swimming where your holding him he might feel safe in the water, it might tire him out and then get some you time? i really dont know what else to say sorry x

i did take him swimming last week he loved that but he had a 10 min snooze after and wouldnt go back so he was SHATTERED and just fought it all day.
I wanted to go today but he wouldnt shh for long enough to get a bag of stuff sorted so i just gave up hope of leaving the house for today.

i told HV about his constant screaming and crying but she didnt have much advice but think ill mention it when i go get him weighed next week see if they have any advice. I just wonder if he's in pain or something as it doesnt seem right for him to cry so much for no reason

 

[oliviarose]

Your baby does not hate you, buy he will be able to sense how you are feeling xxx

 

[leoniebabey]

I'm so sorry you feel like this and nobody wants to help. Have you spoken to your health visitor and explained everything. They may be able to put you in touch with people who could help. Xxx

i dont really like my HV enough to talk to her proporly she always just brushes things off.

 

[oliviarose]

Does he atop crying when you hold him? Have you tried xo sleeping see if it will make him sleep any better? Xxx

 

[leoniebabey]

Does he atop crying when you hold him? Have you tried xo sleeping see if it will make him sleep any better? Xxx

he sleeps okay tbh, thats the only time he doesnt cry. He goes down in his cot but will wake up at some point through the night and come in my bed but he still wakes up in ym bed and wriggles about

 

[oliviarose]

Can you not speak to another HV? Here we can take out baby to any clinic to get them weighed. If you can so that where you are you could speak to the HV there. But we have our own HV too. Xxx

 

[leoniebabey]

yeah its the same here, think i'll take him next week i've been meaning to do but with all the appointments i have i never have the chance.

 

[oliviarose]

I don't know the situation with fob, but I see you said he assaulted you. But are you in touch with any member of his family who could help.

Sorry if that was not the right thing to say xxx

 

[minties]

That sounds horrible, I don't think it's normal for a baby to cry that much. Do you have any services there with your health visitor where they will watch baby for you while you have a break? Our HV's have that here, they will watch baby for a few hours while you have a rest.

Might even be worth paying someone to babysit, so you can at least chill out and relax without him for a couple of hours.

I used to babysit a baby who was a lot like yours, when he was 5 months old. I did 6 hours twice a week, and oh boy I was so exhausted by the end of that 6 hours, I wanted to run out the door and never come back. The constant crying drives you mad!

I feel for you, I really do. Big hugs.

 

[leoniebabey]

nah i dont speak to any of them they have saw LO like twice, i wish he would bother with his son i would get a break but i cant force him, he might change his mind when we go to court but im not counting on it, and i dont have a HUGE family and most of them work or cant be bothered to watch him.

 

[anna matronic]

Ah Hun I don't really have any advice sorry. But I am in a similar situation regarding very little help as I am on My own with evan and my family live over 60 mile away, so it's non stop the minute we get up to the minute he sleeps (plus night feeds!!) I find it reall hard sometimes and get stressed and cry holding him.

You are months ahead of me but you are doing a great job, it does seem like he cries an awful lot. I think a chat with hv would be the best thing to see what advice they have, especially as u are on your own.

Big hugs I know I've been no help at all xx

 

[leoniebabey]

That sounds horrible, I don't think it's normal for a baby to cry that much. Do you have any services there with your health visitor where they will watch baby for you while you have a break? Our HV's have that here, they will watch baby for a few hours while you have a rest.

Might even be worth paying someone to babysit, so you can at least chill out and relax without him for a couple of hours.

I used to babysit a baby who was a lot like yours, when he was 5 months old. I did 6 hours twice a week, and oh boy I was so exhausted by the end of that 6 hours, I wanted to run out the door and never come back. The constant crying drives you mad!

I feel for you, I really do. Big hugs.

im not sure hun, they have never mentioned it but maby if i explain the situation then they might ask.
i would love to just go to the hairdressers or tidy up but i never get a change, but then i think i sound like a bit of a brat and i should of knew what i was letting myself in for but most people have OH's and babies that dont scream the house down every day.
and he has tantrums now if i take things off him or move him so i have to deal with these tantrums, HV seemed concerned when i told her he hits me and lies and kicks his legs in temper.

I dont know how much crying i can deal with, we do have the odd 'good' day but we have ALOT more bad days then good.

 

[oliviarose]

Do you have any friends who could help?

I really can't imaginehow you are feeling. But I really want to try and help. I know how hard it is with a small baby, but with no support from the family is terrible.

As said above could you get a babysitter for a couple of hrs? Xxx