1 month ago today....

[hayley x]

My baby boy passed away

Im finding it so hard tonight as its coming up to the last time I saw my precious son alive. I last saw him at around 2.30am ish and found him unconsious at 3.55am. For some reason I just woke up to look for him

I cant bring myself to go home, Im at a relatives house atm, not staying here but just the thought of going home relly hurts right now Its one of the many 1st's... theres going to be lots of 1st's... 1st week, month, year. 1st birthday, xmas etc but its sooo hard!!

Thank you for reading xxx

** I Love You my precious little monkey, hope you've settled into Heaven well and Im sure you will have wrapped everyone round your tiny finger already, sweet dreams **

 

[DiddyDons]

Im so sorry Hayley babe Ive had all my first's with Sophie and Im now coming up to my 2nd's and although I dont think It gets easier as such but it does get "easier" if that makes any sense at all...We sadly learn to deal with the way things are sadly...I just wish it could be so different. The 1st with Sophie were so hard....but once i "got them out the way" things strangely seemed to "lift" and I felt a sense of "calm" and "peace" iykwim? I felt alot "better" than I had done in a long time.

Alex is beautiful and I am just so sorry hes not with you Huge to you babe. Life is so cruel x x x

 

[BlackBerry25]

So sorry hun.

 

[Jessa]

I'm so sorry that you are experiencing so much sadness.

 

[CarCam]

I am so sorry.

 

[sparkle]

I'm so sorry. I think you are being amazingly strong. My thoughts are with you. x

 

[princess_bump]

hayley i am so so so sorry you are always in my thoughts x x x

 

[nervouspains]

My thoughts are with you hayley.
Im so sorry you have to experience this awful pain
xxx

 

[ChloesMummy]

Im so sorry you are going through this hun, Life is so cruel x

 

[embo216]

I'm so sorry hun. xxx

 

[celine]

Im so sorry

 

[natasja32]

Hey sweetie...Im so sorry that you have to go through this. It will be 2 months for me on the 13th May. I know how hard it is,but you are being so brave and strong. And Alex is so proud of his mummy. I wish i could make it better for you sweetheart. Remember you can always PM me if you want to chat.Thinking of you.

 

[orange-sox]

Oh sweetheart

Like Nat, I am so sorry that anyone has to go through what we do, and while I can't say the pain ever goes away, it just gets easier to cope with. My first month was the hardest, the second seemed.. not easier, just different...

We're all here for you, and you can always PM me if you need a chat with someone x

 

[hayley x]

Thank you all so much for your comments I'm feeling so much better today I feel a bit guilty that I'm kinda 'happy' but I think its just my little man giving me the strength, I know he wouldnt want his mummy to be grumpy!! Your all amazing women and wonderful support thank you so much xxx

 

[usedtobewarren]

Hi Hayley

You won't know me as I've been away from this board for a while after losing my twins in February, but I just want to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Alex. I am sure he is playing safe and sound with all the other angel babies up in their heaven.

I promise you hon, it will get easier. It takes a lot of time, and firsts are always hard. We've just been through all our firsts with our first angel, and it is difficult but I know you can find the strength to get through it.

You need anything hon, don't hesitate to ask.

 

[laura3103]

i'm so sorry for your loss.x.x

 

[babytots]

it must be so hard for you hunni and all those firsts are really hard to get through but your strong and as hard as they are you will get through them. alex must be so so proud of his mummy for being so brave and i know he loves you so very much.

thinking of you sweetie x

 

[kaylynn040485]

Im so sorry for your loss hun! Kx

 

[readyforbaby]

I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and sending you

 

[susan_1981]

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you. It was bad enough losing my baby at 7 weeks (although didn't find out until 12 week scan). It was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. Especially as my husband didn't know what to expect on the screen but I could tell something was wrong, the baby was far too small. He said to me after that he got all excited thinking "that's my baby". I'll never foget the look on his face when they told us our baby had died. It was devastating. I've never seen my husband so upset, he doesn't do emotion.

I hope that you are ok and can find comfort in friends and family. That's all that helped me through this, and of course this wonderful site xxx