1 week

[orange-sox]

It's now one week since I gave birth to our beautiful angel, and I still cannot believe that it's all happened. I don't know if this is normal or not, but I'm still living in some sort of trance, like it's not really happened to me.

I can't shake this terrible feeling that I did something wrong, even though I know that there was nothing I can do, I haven't even slept properly since last Monday, I can't eat, I can't really think. I came back to work this week and I'm like some nervous ball of tears, anything sets me off and I feel like some sort of unstable nutter.

I'm trying my hardest to stay strong, for me, for my OH, for Seb but I just feel like I can't even breathe anymore.

I miss him so much, and I just want to scream, and shout, and cry all at once.

 

[Serene123]

 

[MissingBubs]

I'm sure its more than normal. You have been through so much. I'm so sorry I can't help. XXX

 

[DaisyDuke]

This is normal babe, it's the worst feeling, i m/c early and that ripped my heart out. So i can only imagine how this must feel, it must be awful Have u been offered any counselling? It did help me a little much to my suprise. Thinking of u

 

[Peach Blossom]

 

[~KACI~]

Hugs, Maybe you could ask for some more days off work?? x x

 

[Snowball]

Aw Have you tried writing down your feelings? I found it really helped me at the beginning. I'm still thinking of you and still here for you anytime you need me

 

[rachjim98]

My dear friend I feel your pain all too well, and I am so sorry for anyone who has to feel such misery. There isn't anything you can do but what you are doing right now. CRY, SCREAM throw something if need be! If that is how you feel at that moment then do it. At this point just making it through that moment is a accomplishment. So sorry As for counseling if your ready for it then I would suggest going, only you know when your ready.

 

[honey08]

i cant imagine wot ur going thro hun just wana give u some

 

[Shelby2007]

to you honey.. Im so sorry for what you are going through.

XX RIP Seb

 

[orange-sox]

Today has been okay so far, my collegues all know about Seb, so they are looking after me fantastically considering they are all men!

I only work three days a week at the mo, so I know once today is over I'm not back till monday, which is a blessing for me right now as I am just so exhausted all the time.

When I get into work in the mornings I usually write a little letter to Seb, because that's one of the hardest times of the day for me, when I used to sit here alone with my cup of tea, and I could feel him wriggling around trying to get comfortable. It really does help.

Thank you so much for all your support girls x

 

[doctordeesmrs]

 

[becky77]

Im so sorry for you hun, i think your incredible to be functioning as well as you seem to be, your bound to feel numb and confused and upset, i have had 2 early m/c and that was hard enough, so i cant imagine what your going through. sending big hugs x

 

[Chilli]

It must feel crap I'm sure. I feel for you honey. I'm putting off going back to work because I'm worried I'll feel the same. There's so much pressure to "return to normal" though isn't there. We know how you feel and I think that any of us should feel ok about saying "you know what, it's gonna take me longer than you or I thought to cope with losing my child!" Poeple need to recognise that THAT is what you're dealin with. Sometimes I think some people would be more understanding if you had your wisdom teeth out! Sorry if I'm having a bit of a rant!

 

[RobenR]

I know how you feel, I felt the same after I lost my daughter. What you're feeling is completely normal. It's been one month for me and I'm only now starting to get my head back on straight and be able to focus again.

You take all the time you need.

 

[Schmelly]

Lots of

You need to allow yourself time to grieve. Cry if you need to. Shout if you need to. You have the right to do that.

I'm glad your colleagues are being good about it. Make the most of your time off now..relax and let yourself just 'be'. Don't give yourself a hard time...be patient with yourself.

I'm so sorry you going through such an unimaginably awful experience

 

[massacubano]

Still thinking of you sweetie.

 

[golcarlilly]

You are coping so well hun but if you feel like screaming and shouting then do it! You need to give yourself time to grieve for Seb so don't feel like you have to put on a brave face Thinking of you and sending you

 

[Schmelly]

I've just read your post in another thread...you very wisely said 'cry if you want to cry, scream if you want to scream'................or something along those lines.

Take heed of your own words, hun. They apply to you to.......you need as much time, care, love and patience as anyone else. In fact, even more than a lot of us