14 months - Time for sleep training? Controlled crying?

[Sarah Lou 80]

I'm done in! 14 months of no sleep (plus the pregnancy insomnia!) with a toddler to look after a swell. I think I'm actually dying a slow, painful death!

My 14 month old has never slept well. She will nap. Won't self settle for a nap. Either boob or if she's in the pushchair or car. From about 6 months she has woken every couple of hours on a good night. This is from bedtime onwards. Hourly/45 mins on a bad night with teething or illness. She won't self settle at bedtime either. I try stopping her from falling asleep on the boob so I can put her down drowsy but it's hard. Sometimes (rarely)she does stir when I put her down and if she opens her eyes and sees me she might settle back down herself.

I have been looking at cc but don't fully understand it. Do I go in and try and comfort her and leave her crying? If she will only settle on the breast and I go in and try and comfort her any other way she just screams. I don't quite get how it would work if you are meant to settle them before leaving the room as thst wouldn't work without me putting her on the breast. Also, if/when she wakes in the night, do I use the same technique as at bedtime?


I'm at the end of my tether

 

[Sarah Lou 80]

Bump

 

[MummyKP]

I did controlled crying when my LO was just over 6 months. We were still breastfeeding at this point so whenever she saw me in the night she'd just want boob. She also woke every 2 hours from bedtime on a good night, a bad night was similar to yours. Because of BF, we did it over a weekend so my DH could go in to her. Everyone does it differently but we vowed not to pick her up, but some do to calm them down. When she woke crying the first night, we waited 5 mins, then my hubby went in, gave her her dummy/comforter and lay her back down, and walked back out. Then we left her 10 minutes and repeated as she cried as soon as dh put her down and walked out. The first night was definitely the hardest, it went on for 30 minutes. I ended up putting a pillow over my head to drown out her cry because it broke my heart but I knew it was what we needed to do. So every time she woke we repeated this with my hubby going in. First night she woke twice, each time for half hour. Second night she woke twice, but only for 15 minutes. Third night she woke once for 7 minutes. Fourth night she woke once for 3 minutes, and she's slept through ever since! I remember the timings and everything so well because it practically halved each night. You've got to really want it if you do it, and y can't give in because otherwise the hard work will go to waste. It was tough, I won't lie, but it worked a treat for us and now my LO naps twice a day in her cot for 90 minutes each time, and self settles herself each sleep cycle. Good luck!

 

[JumpingIn]

I did a 'gentle' version of cc when my son was 8.5 months. I'll give you all the details once he's in bed. It mostly worked

 

[Sarah Lou 80]

Thanks ladies. I think we are getting to the point. Just need a couple of 'good' nights in the bag to have the energy to actually do it.

Would love to hear the gentle version Jumpinin (when you get a chance!)

X

 

[Sarah Lou 80]

I did controlled crying when my LO was just over 6 months. We were still breastfeeding at this point so whenever she saw me in the night she'd just want boob. She also woke every 2 hours from bedtime on a good night, a bad night was similar to yours. Because of BF, we did it over a weekend so my DH could go in to her. Everyone does it differently but we vowed not to pick her up, but some do to calm them down. When she woke crying the first night, we waited 5 mins, then my hubby went in, gave her her dummy/comforter and lay her back down, and walked back out. Then we left her 10 minutes and repeated as she cried as soon as dh put her down and walked out. The first night was definitely the hardest, it went on for 30 minutes. I ended up putting a pillow over my head to drown out her cry because it broke my heart but I knew it was what we needed to do. So every time she woke we repeated this with my hubby going in. First night she woke twice, each time for half hour. Second night she woke twice, but only for 15 minutes. Third night she woke once for 7 minutes. Fourth night she woke once for 3 minutes, and she's slept through ever since! I remember the timings and everything so well because it practically halved each night. You've got to really want it if you do it, and y can't give in because otherwise the hard work will go to waste. It was tough, I won't lie, but it worked a treat for us and now my LO naps twice a day in her cot for 90 minutes each time, and self settles herself each sleep cycle. Good luck!

This gives me hope! Thank you!

 

[JumpingIn]

Hi Sarah Lou,

OK, here's how it worked. Zach needed to be rocked or fed to sleep so the first thing was to break that. We started giving the bottle before his bath and story instead of just before put down. So he was awake enough not to fall asleep.

Next to tackle was teaching him to fall asleep in bed. This was hard. I stayed with him as he cried. I patted his leg in a heartbeat rhythm. I didn't look at him or say anything. I'm not going to lie, the screaming was horrible and I played music through headphones. The first night it took an hour and of course he still kept waking a lot as he had fallen asleep with me patting his leg. I kept this up for a couple of days and soon he was going to sleep with much lighter patting and much quicker.

The next stage was to start leaving the room before he fell asleep. I would pat until he was quiet and then leave. Of course he'd start crying again. At first I left a minute before going back to him, repeated and left.

The next day I left 3 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 8 minutes etc...Whenever I went back in I would replace his dummy (the consultant wanted us to lose that but I was too chicken) pat a little and then leave. After 3 days of this he slept 5 hours plus 6 hours and on day 5 he slept through the whole night. The key is consistency. NEVER pick up, rock, talk etc...unless baby has a dirty nappy or needs other practical help like a drink of water.

At this point Zach stopped crying and was generally going to sleep with no assistance after 10 minutes in the cot.

I think not losing the dummy was our downfall. Now around 50% of the time he sleeps through but some nights he's up loads with a missing dummy!

Bear in mind that there will still be regressions, teeth and illness to battle with, but on the whole it's the best thing I ever did for our family. We are all so much happier, Zach included.

The only really horrible night was night 1. After that it was consistent progress and I think 5 days work for a baby sleeping through was so worth it!

 

[Sarah Lou 80]

Thank you so so much for taking the time to tell me this! I think we will give this a go. Fingers crossed Xxx