15 year old, baby and garage extension

[2nd time mum]

I was wondering if anyone can help me with this one.

We currently live in a 2 bedroom house. Can't afford to move. LO is driving me crazy sometimes with lack of sleep and feel that he can benefit from his own room now, even for the mountain of toys that are piled up in the house. I don't feel it is fair to ask my teenager to now share his room with a baby. LO still in with us just now. Because of the layout of the bedrooms none can be split to make a 3rd room. Have looked into building an extension but finances just can't afford it.

Now baby is 16 months and I feel I have to do something because anything I have came up with in the past just won't work or not affordable.

Anyway our house has a garage but it is not attached to the house and is at the bottom of the drive. The original plan was to wait until our eldest was maybe at Uni (his current plans!), convert the garage so that he can have his own wee bit of independence but also be close to home. My son has said he is quite happy to do it now but I think he is still a bit young. What do you ladies think? (PS Maybe I am being a bit overparanoid here but he was involved in a bad accident last year but luckily made a full recovery apart from not having proper feeling down his left side)

The other options I have are to buy a sofa bed and sleep in the living room again - reminds me of my teenage years just setting out!! But would probably still need to convert the garage for our eldest once he is older.

What do you think and has anybody been in a similar position and if you have what did you do?

Thanks in advance

 

[leafygreenmum]

I would do the conversion now. It won't be like your son is moving out, just imagine that there is a long hall between the garage and your house! You will still be looking after him, but he will have his own space, he would probably love to have somewhere completely baby-free, he'd be able to do his homework in peace!
Plus you would get your bedroom back, but I actually think that your teenage son would benefit most of all.

 

[tallybee]

I agree with leafygreenmum. Obviously you know your teen best, some are way more mature than others at that age lol! But one of my friends back when we were 14/15 had a really similar setup to what's being suggested here. He really appreciated it and was fine, he actually kept it really tidy as well because being 'his', there was never any 'I didn't leave that there' lol.
Good luck

 

[AnnabelsMummy]

i'd say the same as the others, also, from experience siblings don't always cope very well with sharing their space, especially as they don't have somewhere to go for time out after arguements or when they just want to be alone..
but it's not fair you should sleep on the sofa..
by the sounds of it, he'll love the independance, he can play his music loud etc...

but it also depends how much you trust him, if you'd worry about what he was doing there constantly, then maybe it wouldnt be a good idea..

how responsible is he?
xxxx

 

[2nd time mum]

i'd say the same as the others, also, from experience siblings don't always cope very well with sharing their space, especially as they don't have somewhere to go for time out after arguements or when they just want to be alone..
but it's not fair you should sleep on the sofa..
by the sounds of it, he'll love the independance, he can play his music loud etc...

but it also depends how much you trust him, if you'd worry about what he was doing there constantly, then maybe it wouldnt be a good idea..

how responsible is he?
xxxx

He is quite responsible. I am just so paranoid about it and don't want him to feel as though I am putting him out and then I get stupid thoughts like "what if ... happened" then think well if we thought like that we would never do anything!

Thanks

 

[holly2234]

When i lived at home with my family we had 2 bedrooms (i still live there now but only me and OH and baby on the way, everybody else moved out!). I had one upstairs bedroom, my mum had the other and we had 2 rooms downstairs and a kitchen. The front room we had a bed in and general bedroom stuff and my brother had that room. It never had a door on it but we had a thick curtain and he generally had the whole downstairs to himself apart from when coronation street was on and we all went into the middle room! Its a dining room now but there is still a sofa bed in there even though i now have a spare room but just incase everyone decides to descent upon me at once!

 

[AnnabelsMummy]

speak to him about it, and let him know that if he's uncomfy with it then you can arrange something else..
but he's still in you'r property, he's still gunna be in your house every night for dinner (i'm sure).. it'll just be like he's den, where he can play music...

i doubt much can happen when he's that close to home.. you can have a catch up with him like a couple of times a day, or if you feel like you're worried about him and explain that obviously the rules you have remain the same, and he can come back into the main part of the house whenever he wants..
xx

 

[lepaskilf]

When i was growing up my mum had a baby when i was 13 and sis was 12........ He was in her room for the first 6 months, then I was turfed out of mine and in to my sister's room so my younger bro could have his own room....... It was fine at first but me and sis were in to comppletely different things and just clashed after a while sooooooooo...... the garage got turned in to my room. It's not connected to the house but at the end of the drive near the garden.

I loved it!!! My own space, i could play my music loud and because the door had a lock on, no one else could go in!! Although there was another key my folks had (good idea i think now!)

The down sides were having to go outside to get to house esp when its raining or needing a pee at night! But your boy will prob just pee outside!!! lol!!.... and although it was insulated it was cold in winter, so definately but an elec heater or something in there! x

 

[Mom23monkies]

IMO I wouldent be comfortable letting my 15 year old not be in the same building as me.
Some states it would actually be Illegal as it would be considered a seperate residence
Just something to think about

 

[Chantibug]

I'd let him move into the unattached garage... Just make the proper changes, like insulation, cooling/heating source (no space heater! kids are not good with these and they are a fire hazard!) and secure locks (I'd get a dead bolt and a chain!) on the door, and locks on the windows (it must have a window in the event of an emergency... and so he doesnt feel trapped lol). Put in some flooring - carpet or laminate, whatever.. and move him in! I bet he will LOVE it if he is already asking about it. And at 15 he doesnt need hovering , but he does need mom and dad. If you can afford to give him a bathroom out there, I would... it will save him trips inside on cold nights (cant do # 2 in the yard yanno!) and when he wakes up in the mornings to get ready will be more convenient.
My best friend in High school lived in her parent's guesthouse out back of the main house and i loved staying the night there because we had privacy to hang out and not worry about siblings bothering us... and its certainly not illegal, lol, as it is on the same property as the main house