16 and ttc

[summer_sun]

Me and my Bf have recently started ttc. I am 16 and he 17, we have talk about this a lot and we know it is the right desission for us, but other keep telling us we should wait and have kids when we are older. We keep telling them we wouldnt be doing it if it wasnt the right thing for us to do but none of them listen to us, and it really fustrates me that they are trying to make us stop trying when its what me and my bf both want.

 

[Wobbles]

You know what you want
You know if your ready
You know if your doing the right thing for a potential baby
You know if your mature enough

Hope 17 year old TTC Dad has a good job?
A home for baby of your own? Furnished no stress of needing both baby & household furniture? -Our first baby costed us close to £2000 minus what was needed when she hit 3 months!
You don't have any dreams to fill?
Don't want a decent job after education? have you actually left education?

best of luck anyway & welcome to BabyandBump

 

[Samo]

Hi and welcome!It really is you and your partner's decision whether to TTC or not...but i do hope you are thinking it through properly. Are you both finished and out of school? have steady jobs? How would you support a baby...or if you're in school, why not wait until you both have completed school and have a steady job and a home for baby? 16 and 17 is still such a young age there's so much more you both can experience in life and you have lots of time yet! There will always be time to have a child, but you're only a teenager once. Having a child is a blessing in any case, but there are many sacrifices that need to be made as well.

I am sure the teen mums and mums to be here can give you better advice . Good luck.

 

[nikky0907]

Welcome to bnb...

I have to ask you if you are sure about this?This is not something you can take back if it doesn't suit you.

Have you two finished school?Do you have jobs,a home,a steady income?
You are very young and there is plenty of time ahead of you.Why don't you date,start your lives,establish some kind of life together and then start?

 

[mama2connor]

Welcome!...I just want to say that i had my son when i was 16 and it is SO hard. A baby is not just something you can switch off when you get sick, or tired. It may sound like a good idea now, but it can be quite phsyically & mentally exhausting. It's not something i'd recommend doing at such a young age, but if you really want to then goodluck to you!

 

[ella170]

well some teenage girls say tht they really want to have a baby- just because they think babies cute (they wont stay cute for long!). if u have really thought about this seriously, u should know whether ur reasons for wantin a baby at ur age are sensible. if u both know that its right and know tht u can support this baby and love it, then go for it! dont let people put u off wt u want to do. but i will tell u tht u will change ALOT through the next few years- i look back at things i did/ thought last year (when i was 16) and think 'what was i thinking?!' just be aware that u could think differently in a couple of months. but, its what u want and u havent posted on here to ask whether what ur doing is right or not. other people aren't u, its not their body, its urs and u can do whatever u like with it. maybe u will prove them all wrong! gd luck xx

 

[Kayles1/8/08]

Hey..

Everyones different some people find it harder than others..but in an ideal world people 9.9 times out of 10 we all want the happy family married to the perfect guy with the perfect baby...my pregnancy was unplanned but wouldn't change a thing for the world..Although it was never my intention to happen just yet!!
How long have u and ur bf been together? a baby can put alot of strain on ur relationship..but ur bf could be the best guy out ..now.. but later think fuc* this...and ur on ur own babe..not saying that would def happen but just gotta sometimes think the negatives aswell as the positives..a baby isnt just all cute and tiny and wears tiny clothes...its a completely new life for u. It costs ALOT..and i mean ALOT of money to kit out the baby..do u have all that sorted..are u financially stable for a baby at 16?? although u and ur bf may be working...i know uze want be making mega bucks as ur as young as u are..
Although i love my bump and cant wait for the little one to be here .. but i still everyday wish i fell preg at a time where i was financially stable to give the baby the best start in life..where as being young..moneys shit..lifes a struggle as it is..never mind with another mouth to feed...cos dont think for one minute u can land the baby and get milk for the baby whenever u feel like it off ur parents so u can use the money to go get ur hair..nails etc done...like all young girls like doing!
Me myself had my hair done everymonth..all my tan done..getting my nails done every month..had lovely clothes...but since falling preg..ive had to dye all my hair completely dark so i dont have to keep gettin highlights done..cant afford everything my pals are out doing..only thing is .. ive done the clubbing..holidays..travellin...ur only 16 babes uve got SO much in life ahead of u!
live a little
x

 

[mBLACK]

To you I say congratulations if you're not doing this for the wrong reasons. Just remember that every little insignificant, minute decision you make from here on out will affect somebody else's life GREATLY.
I'm 15 + pregnant, and honey make sure that you understand that it CAN bring alot of stress between you and your boyfriend, I'm not with mine anymore, a baby changes alot of things.
I also agree with Kayles, I used to have the nicest purses, outfits, SHOES, nails, highlights, pedicures, all that yummy stuff.. since falling pregnant I work like a dog, and still have to shop at thrift stores + i can't afford ANYTHING that I used to. All the money goes to bump.
But I trust you know that and will try your best so good luck to you

 

[bim-baby-bump]

hi i had my little girl when i was 14 and i dnt regret it at all but right now there is no chance that i would be ttc. i am now 17 and tho i wouldnt change bailey for the world i would wait..just to have the chance to fufill some dreams and experience life...

just think about it
x

 

[_Alice_]

Me and my Bf have recently started ttc. I am 16 and he 17, we have talk about this a lot and we know it is the right desission for us, but other keep telling us we should wait and have kids when we are older. We keep telling them we wouldnt be doing it if it wasnt the right thing for us to do but none of them listen to us, and it really fustrates me that they are trying to make us stop trying when its what me and my bf both want.

Hi hun, Welcome to Baby&Bump!
The reason why you are getting so much critism is because 16 IS still very young. At 16 you can't possibly be able to totally, financially, emotionally, mentally look after a child. At 16 i left home to live with my now fiance and at first i was like you too, i really wanted a baby.
But i realised, there was no way in the world i could provide for it, so yeah you might want a baby, but it would be pretty selfish to not be able to provide for it..
I do totally understand that you may want/need a baby, and it's totally your decision, but you should expect people to react like this. I wouldn't be best pleased if my daughter wanted to get pregnant at 16. At 16 years old, you are still very young, and wouldn't be able to provide for yourself AND your baby, so i'm guessing you are already relying on your un-suspecting parents .. that not fair hun!
My fiance and i travelled the world, went out got drunk, did all those silly teenager things, roughed it on people's floors, did naughty things like sex on the beach , which we would definately not have been able to do if we had of had a baby.

Hun, please think logically about this. But, if it's what you want go ahead, just don't expect everyone to rally around you, buy the baby stuff etc - it's not fair.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do

 

[missjess]

Welcome to BnB !

I'm not gonna judge you or anything, I'm 19 and pregnant with my first. It wasn't planned and I wouldn't change anything, but I think TTC at 16 may be a little young perhaps? I don't know what your situation is, but a baby cost A LOT of money, and it also brings a big change into your life. You may wanna think about it a bit more and make sure this is what you really want! You gotta ask yourself a lot of questions too such as : Are you able to support a child financially? What are your career goals and how are you planning on achieving them with having to take care of a little one at the same time?

Hopefully you make a decision that is good for you and your future. Good luck!

 

[Mynxie]

honey if that's what you both want and you both think that you're strong enough to deal with it, good luck.

 

[Carley]

A part of me is asking, Why?

 

[toffee87]

Summer_sun I think you should atleast wait until you're both stable with money and living together. And you have to realise that when you have a baby you can't just go out and see friends like you can now, you can't spend all the money on clothes etc for your self, you have to be totally unselfish and put the child first. There's no looking back, a baby will grow up into a child, they don't stay cute and small forever. What will you do about money, childcare etc?

As long as you have thought these things through fully and know you can support the baby without relying on other people, then go for it.

 

[BeckyBoo]

I agree with the other's that have said you should wait until you're finacially ready. Babies can aslo put alot of stress on a relationship. The only reason I had my son young is because it was an accident, so I planned number two after that when I realised we coped as a couple and we were sorted out finacially and I also now own my own home.

But good luck with it, remember babies may only need love, but they need warmth and saftey aswell.

 

[mummy&mase]

I agree with the people on here, 16 is a very young age to be having a baby. i was 17 when i fell pregnant it was unplanned but i wanted him so much. We went through so much stress and trouble to try and get everything we needed to support mason. it costs a hell of a lot of money, and you cant keep living at your parents house forever with the baby. My oh is working full time and i work part time but come towards end of the month we struggle like hell as we are private renting (the council dont help). You need to really think about what you are doing. You and your boyfriend have plenty of years to live your life together make sure hes definately the one you want your baby with. have fun while you can.. I sit back sometimes and although i wouldnt change it for the world i do miss seeing my friends whenever i wanted,getting my hair done all the time etc.
its a life changing thing having a baby and you need to grow up very quickly.

 

[AquaDementia]

I am sorry if I sound like a bitch, but I honestly cannot support actively TTC at 16.
It might seem like a good idea to you at this time, but down the road you will realize that there is much more to it.

 

[x-amy-x]

I am 19 and pregnant with my first.

I live in a 3 bed privately rented house with my Fiance. We have been together for 4 years and i can't imagine being with anyone else.

We both work full time, and i am still attending college part time 2 evenings a week working towards a degree in accounting.

I know that money isn't everything but at 16 i had nothing in the way of money and was only just leaving home and finishing school and establishing my way in the working world. Although this baby wasn't planned i can say that it hasn't been too hard for us so far as we both have good wages coming in and a stable home ready for the baby.

I would advise you to wait a little until your able to stand on your own two feet, save up a bit of money, then try for a baby. At least then, you will be able to afford a baby

Good luck in your decision hun

xx

 

[leeanne]

I am sorry if I sound like a bitch, but I honestly cannot support actively TTC at 16.
It might seem like a good idea to you at this time, but down the road you will realize that there is much more to it.

I have to agree with your post.

I just can't fathom my own daughter when she hits 16 to start trying for a baby. I'd have to think that perhaps I didn't give her the love she needed, the attention she needed, etc. And I would be shocked!

Babies change your life completely and they are a lot of hard work, even when you are in your thirties like I am. I could not imagine having a baby at 16 let alone trying for one. I had a lot of growing up to do at that stage!

Do you know anyone who has a baby? Seriously, perhaps you should take care of a baby for a few days and you will perhaps see what having a baby entails.

 

[keelykat]

Everyone's posts/replies make sense to me, 16 is a very young age to try for a baby and i dont know how you are financially stable.

I remember feeling very broody at 16/17, and at the time it crossed my mind....im so glad now that i didnt. Im now pregnant with my first, at the age of 23...im ready in the sense that im in a stable relationship, we have our own place, he's got a good job to support us etc and eerything feels right. going back to when i was 16-i def wasnt ready.

Pregnancy=changes, big ones....a baby is a huge responsibility. Forget the cute thoughts, they cry/poo/need lots of attention etc and you cant just dump them with someone else when it gets tough.

Good luck with everything, have a good long think about everyones replies-because it does make sense.

keely.x