16 week mw appt tomorrow - FOB problems

[Jennifurball]

Hi,

As it's been 5 years, my memory isn't very good as to what happens at the 16 week appointment?

I also want to erase the FOB details on my maternity notes as he has been abusive, nasty, harassing and isn't part of my life anymore, don't want him anywhere near my children.

I don't want him anywhere near me, or knowing anything, especially in labour so I am not in a situation where I can barely function and he turns up (unlikely but still worries me!)

I am just worried if I do confide in the mw about my problems with him, which are quite bad. Will it open a can of worms? Being a single mum to almost 2 children, will they involve social services etc. I just want to be left alone, but at the same time feel they need to be aware so he can't be involved.

Any advice welcome.

 

[Isme]

If you make it clear that he is an ex, I don't see why family services why'd have any reason to get involved. Until paternity us established, he has no rights anyway. I'm not sure exactly what the laws are whet you live, but here in the US nobody had any rights or access to your information unless you expressly give the hospotal/doctor's office permission to share with them. Since you are not married, I would think it should be a fairly simple matter to remove him form whatever files or paperwork he appears on.

 

[rose.]

I don't see any reason why they would involve social services. He's not in your life anymore and so not a danger to your children, and you're managing fine on your own

 

[Ally2015]

i had my 16 week appt yesterday, midwife took my blood pressure and a urine sample and listened to fetal heartbeat with doppler and then just asked if i had any questions.


not sure about ex's details, I think its best to just ask midwife and be quite open and honest and state the situation as it is. Sorry you had hard time with your ex.

Good luck x

 

[Jessicahide]

Hi,

As it's been 5 years, my memory isn't very good as to what happens at the 16 week appointment?

I also want to erase the FOB details on my maternity notes as he has been abusive, nasty, harassing and isn't part of my life anymore, don't want him anywhere near my children.

I don't want him anywhere near me, or knowing anything, especially in labour so I am not in a situation where I can barely function and he turns up (unlikely but still worries me!)

I am just worried if I do confide in the mw about my problems with him, which are quite bad. Will it open a can of worms? Being a single mum to almost 2 children, will they involve social services etc. I just want to be left alone, but at the same time feel they need to be aware so he can't be involved.

Any advice welcome.

Keep his name on the documents to safeguard against him coming into the hospital when you give birth. Don't divulge too much information to her, but just make it clear that the father is abusive and you have taken steps and insured your children's and your safety.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I said at mine can I change my next of kin. No questions asked x

 

[cskme_]

I think you could just ask for him to be taken off and say you broke up. If need be you could always say he wasn't the blood father anyways?

 

[hunni12]

You should be fine,...when I told my doctor everything when I left this one while only like 8 weeks she was happy. She seen it as less stress on me and bubs

 

[PrincessJJ]

You wont have a problem with Social services hun, honestly don't worry too much. Just inform midwife that you are no longer with FOB and that you would like him replaced as your next of kin and a note put in file that you do not want him to be any part of the birth.
They will honour ur wishes.
ive been there, Chin up hun xxx