16 Weeks and My Mother Still Doesnt Know

[oh_socold]

I havent told anyone in my family yet, and I thought maybe the Teen Pregnancy section would be able to help me. I am not a teenager I am 23 years old, a college graduate and live on my own. However, I recently lost my job and have been looking for work. My mother has been helping me. My boyfriend also is not working hell be finishing school by the time the baby is born. We live together, yet my family doesnt know about that either.

My dilemma is I would like to tell my family within the next 4 weeks. I am going to try to tell them but I always chicken out. I live 3k miles away and I cant wrap my head around how to tell her. She calls me usually when she is upset with something or my sister, we rarely even talk anymore. I have thought about sending a letter, but I know it wont even get to her before my sister sees its from me and opens and reads it. I could send an email, but the email she checks is her work email and I dont want to do that to her at work. I could always send her a facebook message, she may check that at home. I just dont know what else to do.

Anyone have any advice? Anyone have a lot of difficulty telling their parents? Once I tell my mom and have her support, telling my dad will be easy because I can just hang up on him if he pisses me off.

 

[mrsbailey8]

It was really hard to tell my mom...i was so nauseaus, and i was crying when i called her...but it didnt turn out as bad as i thought it would. My mom and i rarely talked too but we live a couple hours away. If i were you i would at least call her...it will probably upset her more if you write her a message. Just call her and flat out say it...its hard but im sure it wont be as bad as you think!

 

[LarLar]

I was extremely nervous about telling my mum incase she was disappointed in me..
It was really hard keeping it from her as i tell my mum literally anything if i don't i usually end up getting heavily depressed and stressed out.. i managed to last a whole two days before telling my mum.

I didn't do it in person i simply phoned her when i got back to my boyfriends house and told her i had to tell her something she actually hit out 'your pregnant?'.. i was like yeah and the water works started i cried so much and told her my worries she said no matter what i'm her daughter and she'd support me.

At the time i thought i wasn't ready but She supported my decision to keep the baby and now looks at prams and clothes with me.. It's just a weight of my shoulder.

My mums amazing and loves me unconditionally. I'm sure your mum will support you fully and will wish you had told her sooner

Good luck!

 

[pinkribbon]

I haven't told my mum about this pregnancy yet. My grandma has been up and down lately being in and out of hospital having numerous operations related to her cancer. I don't want to worry her right now (my mum is a born worrier) so I'm going to wait until 12 weeks to get my scan and then probably tell her then.

With DS I kept putting it off, in the end I just blurted it out. They were very supportive and took it very well. My advice is to just get it over with, especially if you don't talk much maybe it wont be as hard?

Good luck

 

[MarissaFaith]

I would just call her up and tell her - soon because you are getting pretty far along, I started showing at like 18/20 weeks, you might too.. there really isn't a perfect way to let someone know you're pregnant, especially when you are nervous! Either way, she is your mother - and I'm sure she will support you, Good Luck

 

[Jennaxo]

I would phone her and tell her, obviously I'd suggest face to face but seeing as you live so far away that probably won't be possible. Yes its hard telling them but its part of the whole experience.
I'd personally tell her as soon as possible, I know it would have hurt my mum more if I had kept it from her as she doesn't like secrets so I told her the day after I found out, but each to their own. But its just something you have to do, admittedly I cried my eyes out, I was so scared she was going to hate me but the relief I had once she knew was incredible.
The only advice I can really give you is don't wait any longer, phone her because its more personal and good luck, I really hope it goes well for you.

 

[Babybbumbleb]

Just tell her simple. Call her up and tell her. It's always scary but you'll get through it. And it she gets mad she will hopefully get over it. Don't worry so much tell her when you find it right. But I would do it soon because you are getting far along.

 

[megrenade]

it sounds like you aren't very close with your mom.

I am extremely close with my mom.. I don't know what I'd do without her.. I told her as soon as I found out! She was a bit disappointed at first but now she's happy as can be!

I'd be so lost without her.. and with a newborn, she will be a GODSEND whether she's here physically (she lives far away) or over the phone. She's been such a great help so far and I haven't even had my baby yet!

I say you should tell her, and afterwards work on your relationship with her

 

[SummerFairy]

The sooner you do it the better it is. Call her and do it like you are ripping off a band-aid, quick and to the point. It could help to have a plan of action ready to tell her about what you are going to do during the pregnancy (find a job stuff like that) and what you plan for after the baby is here. Even if she is shocked at first I'm sure she will come around with time.

 

[oh_socold]

My mom and I are close because we are the only family we have. We have a very huge extended family but my sister is very violently mentally ill. She seems normal a lot of the time but she has psychotic episodes. The rest of my family kind of ditched us, including my father, after my sister flipped out at twleve years old. So its just us now. She calls me to gossip about her new boyfriend and all u know things I would talk to my female friends about sex, boys, drama from friends etc stuff like that yet on my end I'm very private. Like I said I live with my man for 8 months n my family doesn't know. I just feel like ill have a lot of explaining to do about him about us about the baby and its very overwhelming she's going to yell...and the last thing I want to do is give my extended family another reason to point fingers and laugh at us you know?

You girls are right though ill just have to do it to suck it up and tell her and soon. Maybe. Ill call her sometime in the next few weeks. Its just so hard to even s ay the words especially when she's already so stressed out with my sister. Thanks for telling me how u guys did it. I don't know why its so terrifying but it is and I need to man up I guess

 

[megrenade]

I didn't even have to say it for my mom to know.. I was like, "are you sitting down?"

and she said, "you're pregnant aren't you?"

you won't even have to say it, she'll probably figure it out on her own!

good luck

 

[x__amour]

Tell them, sweetheart. You will feel so much better afterwards.