17 and in need of some help and advice.

[Eleanor Heap]

-I’m 17 years old and in college (British)-


I recently took a pregnancy test because me and my boyfriend were worried I might be pregnant because I’d been feeling like I was going to be sick and dizzy and had pains where I have them when I’m on my period for a few days and my period was two days late (it’s now 4).

It was negative which he was relived about but a small part of me felt disappointed. I remember turning it over and seeing it was negative and him saying “ah few!” and just looking at it feeling sad. I was unsure why and it confused me for a while but after thinking about it I started to think how I’ve been feeling a bit empty and lost and unsure about what I want to do and I think there was just a part of me that was thinking if I had a baby I’d have something to look after and I wouldn’t feel so empty and lost hence why I was disappointed with the result.

I feel silly for feeling like this because I’m 17 years old and am still in college so it’s obviously not a good time to have a baby. I have so much I want to do as well before I have children and so does my boyfriend.

I really want to be a fashion photographer and he wants to be a music producer and both of those things take up a lot of time and effort to get to so having a baby would put our lives on hold completely. But there was a part of me (and still is) that still wants a baby and wouldn’t be disappointed or anything if it had been a positive result.

I just wanted to write about this on here to see if there was anyone who has had a similar experience or could give me some advice or something because I’m feeling a little lost and confused about it and I’m not sure if it’s a normal thing to feel at my age.

 

[Graceinus]

Dear Eleanor Heap,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns with us. In regards to your concerns it seems that you have all the answers to this situation. It is wonderful that you desire of having children in your life and start a family. In regards to your situation have you ever thought of marriage with your boyfriend and being as a wife and mother? Love is not a feeling but is to make a decision for the person for life. Love between couples is a commitment, and involves sacrifice for each other. Marriage and sexuality is something very beautiful and it will be best for you both if you can look into a bigger commitment like marriage, especially in having children while committed as a foundation through a family. Let me tell you that your professional aspiration do not contradict your desires for starting a family and being a mother. Having children demands commitment and giving up many things for a period time until they grow up. Maternity is a beautiful time and I congratulate you for having those desires. In a family children are best supported by both mother and father. I hope this helps. Sending you hugs. I will keep you in my prayers, my friend.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Hi and welcome to BabyandBump

 

[Eleanor Heap]

Dear Eleanor Heap,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns with us. In regards to your concerns it seems that you have all the answers to this situation. It is wonderful that you desire of having children in your life and start a family. In regards to your situation have you ever thought of marriage with your boyfriend and being as a wife and mother? Love is not a feeling but is to make a decision for the person for life. Love between couples is a commitment, and involves sacrifice for each other. Marriage and sexuality is something very beautiful and it will be best for you both if you can look into a bigger commitment like marriage, especially in having children while committed as a foundation through a family. Let me tell you that your professional aspiration do not contradict your desires for starting a family and being a mother. Having children demands commitment and giving up many things for a period time until they grow up. Maternity is a beautiful time and I congratulate you for having those desires. In a family children are best supported by both mother and father. I hope this helps. Sending you hugs. I will keep you in my prayers, my friend.

Thank you for your reply. I have thought about marriage and children with my boyfriend. He is the only person I’ve been with where I have had these thoughts. He has also said to me that if we are still together in 5 years he’s going to ask me to marry him so he’s clearly thought about it as well. I now feel a lot better about it then I did at the time. My mental state is a lot better too so I think that may be partly why. I am still looking forward to being a mum but I understand that now is not the right time for it to happen but when it does I know I will be in a good place in my life and over the moon.

 

[HLx]

Hi hun and welcome! If it's meant to be it will happen, I strongly suggest getting through college and into work, as babies can be expensive!! I was 20 when I fell pregnant with my 1st baby and I was working full time, even I still felt a bit to young!! If it's meant to be for you and your boyfriend it will happen my love, just get your life together first as trust me you'll be grateful in the long run! X