17, Pregnant ?

[BumbleBee]

Hi all ,

I'm Mel, iv'e just turned 17 and i think im pregnant. Im over a week late now, and have pretty much every symptom apart from morning sickness. I havn't tested yet but think im going to go and get one today .

Ive been with my boyfriend for 6 months, although we were together for 2 years but split for a couple of months, but now back together and happier than ever.

The thought of me being pregnant is exciting but scary. The worst thing im scared about is telling my parents. I know they'll be dissapointed with me because for a few weeks now my moms been trying to get me to go back onto the pill, but i didn't want to because i was before and it made me horrible. I was constantly moody and shouting at people, feeling like crap the whole time. I was booked in to speak to my doctor about contraception but then i became late and was able to put it off.

I know we wont be short on support though, because i know eventually they will come round and would never give up the chance to have a grandchild, and my OH's parents already have a grandchild at 37. We will have all of my OH's sons toys and clothes, ( if its a boy ) and all my oh's sisters daughters toys and clothes ( if its a girl ) , so that wont be a major problem with finance. I am in a part time job but currently looking for a full time one, and my OH is starting a 3 days apprentiship in a few weeks.

We would have to stay living at my parents house, which is idea i suppose, although my room is a tiny bit on the small side so would be a bit cramped, but we'd make it work. We are not allowed to put our names on the coucil list untill we are 18 so we cant think of that yet.

We have talked about it alot since i was late, but one thing that never crossed my mind was an abortion, i dont agree with them what so ever and would never give up the life on my son/daughter.

We WILL make it work, we WILL give our child the best life possible and we WILL stick together through this.

I'd love any advice anyone has got please, as im new to all this.

Thankyou

 

[Sarah88]

Let us know when you test hun. Sounds like you guys have talked it through and i'm glad that abortion is not an option.

 

[MummyJade]

Hey welcome 2 bnb,
all i can say is do a test and go from there, you should be able to get on the council housing list due to the pregnancy (if you are). talk to your parents they may have spoken about this as they know you are not on the pill they may shock you i was shocked by the dads reaction i thought he would of gone mad!!

good luck xx

 

[polo_princess]

I think you should do a test before you start worrying yourself over all of those things!! You never know you may be worrying over nothing!!

 

[Elli21]

I agree with Polo...do a test..then see where ur at.xx

 

[princess_x0]

Hi all ,

I'm Mel, iv'e just turned 17 and i think im pregnant. Im over a week late now, and have pretty much every symptom apart from morning sickness. I havn't tested yet but think im going to go and get one today .

Ive been with my boyfriend for 6 months, although we were together for 2 years but split for a couple of months, but now back together and happier than ever.

The thought of me being pregnant is exciting but scary. The worst thing im scared about is telling my parents. I know they'll be dissapointed with me because for a few weeks now my moms been trying to get me to go back onto the pill, but i didn't want to because i was before and it made me horrible. I was constantly moody and shouting at people, feeling like crap the whole time. I was booked in to speak to my doctor about contraception but then i became late and was able to put it off.

I know we wont be short on support though, because i know eventually they will come round and would never give up the chance to have a grandchild, and my OH's parents already have a grandchild at 37. We will have all of my OH's sons toys and clothes, ( if its a boy ) and all my oh's sisters daughters toys and clothes ( if its a girl ) , so that wont be a major problem with finance. I am in a part time job but currently looking for a full time one, and my OH is starting a 3 days apprentiship in a few weeks.

We would have to stay living at my parents house, which is idea i suppose, although my room is a tiny bit on the small side so would be a bit cramped, but we'd make it work. We are not allowed to put our names on the coucil list untill we are 18 so we cant think of that yet.

We have talked about it alot since i was late, but one thing that never crossed my mind was an abortion, i dont agree with them what so ever and would never give up the life on my son/daughter.

We WILL make it work, we WILL give our child the best life possible and we WILL stick together through this.

I'd love any advice anyone has got please, as im new to all this.

Thankyou

Hey babes,
First of all when you test let us know Aw exciting
Secondly it's great you have talked it all through with your bf sounds like you have made some plans which is really good. And he is supporting you which is exellent
When it comes to your parents, tell them as soon as your ready, but try not to leave it to late hun.
Best of luck
xxx

 

[AppleBlossom]

Def take a test first. If you are it's great that your OH will be there to support you and I'm sure your parents would come round eventually, mine did and now they can't keep their hands off Grace, they love her to bits! Good luck

 

[~KACI~]

Take a test hun, no point worrying about something that mite not be happening, lets us no the results x

 

[Jaydensmommy]

Hey girl, i thought i would reply to this thread. Im 17 right now, just turned 17 on June 17th and im 38wks and 3days pregnant with my little boy. When i first found out it was really scary, and kinda hard to believe. For a while i told myself i wasnt even though i knew it was true. I have a great family and thats what made it so easy for me. It sounds like you have a good boyfriend would your family support you? Thats the main thing when your a teenage mother is that you have support of your family. I thought i wouldnt be able to do it. But i got help from my community, friends, and family. I got a wonderful job i was so blessed to get about 6 months pregnant and made enough money to buy everything i needed for him, and it was such a good feeling to know i did that! I know i was luckier than most teenage girls, but then again you have to try and do whatever you can to support your child. I know its a scary thought being pregnant, but it really is all worth it. Im not with my babies dad so i dont have that support. But to know my little boy is going to rely on me for everything, makes everything change. You really have to grow up when you have a baby. If you are pregnant PLEASE dont drop out of school! Im still going and will continue until i graduate and then go to college. Im not going to settle for my GED either. But anyways i just thought i would reply with some things since i know what your going through. Dont freak out if you are pregnant, theres so much help that is avaliable to teenagers now days! I wish you the best!!!!!!

 

[Emma_x]

Hii, Just Thought Id Leave Ah Comment As Im 17 And 29wks+3days Pregnant. Best Thing To Do Is Take A Test And Find Out 4 Sure If You Are Or Not *Good Luck Post With Ur Results*

 

[BumbleBee]

Ok so i feel like complete and utter shit

i found out that i am actually pregnant.

I havnt told anyone but my bf yet, hes happy but we are both majorly scared.

Ive just had the worst arguement ever with my parents though.

Sorry if this is long but i need to get it off my chest.

It startes because i originally planned to go to college and study childcare, i got my place in college a few months ago then all was good, then about a month ago i started having second thought about college, because my mom and dad are struggling with money issues atm, i wanted to get straight into work to start earning my own money and being able to help them out when i can. They could see where i was coming from but still told me to go college, as would any parents really. But anyone i thought about it long and hard and decided i should actually get a job, especially when i began thinking i may be pregnant i wanted to get a job behind me to get enough money.I quit my part time job yesterday so now i have nothing. Im going to my connexions advisors ( people who work with school laevers to give them options on careers ) tuesday, but yesterday i also sent off my form to college turning down my place. My mom knew about this but my dad didnt, and when my mom told him, he wernt happy.

anyway we were sitting having dinner not long ago when my dad just burst out with ' i cant believe what you've done' He told me id really let myself down, that i wasnt completey sure id get a job and ive just gave up my only chance of doing something with myself. I told him it isnt the end of the world and that i could always start college next year after a year of working to save money, but he still couldnt see it. He told me id let them down because now i dont carry on with education im loosing my £120 a month childbenefits, which is gonna put them in more shit with money issues. It was basically a big huge row of how id let them down and how ill proberly spend the next year of my life in bed till tea time then doing nothing with my life.

I was dying to tell them i was pregnant but i just couldnt. He was so dissapointed in me giving up college, how can he cope with knowing his 17 year old daughter is actually pregnant ? He is one who believes people should be married before having children and is totally against it. Im so scared i dont know what to do. I cant tell them. My whole family has been pressuring me into going college, saying its the best thing for my life, what are they going to say now im having a baby?

Another thing is also he always moans when i spend to much time with my OH, like my OH had stayed here for 4 days in a row, and when he went home, he said ' what do you think this is ' He says he can't afford to keep feeding him, which i do understand, but he stays friday-monday beause thats when his brothers girlfriend stays at their house with their baby and if he stayed at home he would have to stay on the setee, i told my dad this and he said well thats not our problem. Wel i think it is, im his girlfriend and i should be the one to look after him too.

Im just so angry, scared and really dissapointed. I cant tell them im pregnant, they will hate me. My friend has just given birth to her baby girl, and i told them and they went ' stupid girl'. they always make comments at teenage parents and everytime i fight back, they make me out to be stupid.

I dont know what to do. im so confused . There is no way i can get rid of my baby.

 

[AppleBlossom]

Sorry to hear they are acting like this hun but at the end of the day it's your decision not theirs. It is ridiculous of them to say that you'll probably end up in bed till tea time for a year then do nothing with your life, that is totally not true. When I was pregnant, yes I was ill for about 4 weeks and found it hard to get out of bed but after that I just went about my normal business. I was in university at the time but hated my course so i decided to drop out. However that was NOT the end of my education. I plan on doing a college course starting in October and then going on to do another uni course next year. Yes my life may have been put on hold but it certainly is not over and I intend to do what I want with it which is become a primary school teacher. So what if you have to take a year out of education. They need to understand that it IS NOT the end of the world! Yes a baby is a 24/7 responsibility but you have to have time for yourself and if they were that bothered they would maybe help take care of it while you study. Plenty of people do it and succeed and go on to have great careers. As for the money situation, I don't really know what to say on that. For you there are plenty of benefits you are entitled too and maybe you could use some of that to help them out. My parents used to moan that I spent to much time with my OH, I used to stay over at his a lot because he wasn't allowed to stay at mine and they used to say 'you'll end up getting pregnant' which I thought was stupid but they were right. But that wasn't because I spent too much time with him, it was just a mistake (I don't mean my baby was a mistake by any means!) Your parents are always going to be worried, angry, scared, whatever no matter how old you were when you got pregnant. It just so happens that because you aren't quite as independent those feelings are twice as bad. One of the first things my parents said was that I had ruined my life until my dad realised that wasn't true, I was just going to have to put it on hold for a while. They will come round to the idea eventually hun, even if it takes until she is born for them to realise how amazing it all is. Please don't give in to them. It really is your decision, it's your body and your baby. If you feel like you are able to give a child all the love and support that it needs then ignore their petty comments and if you are having any doubts at all about having an abortion it shows that already you do care about it and that you should really think long and hard about everything. Good luck hun, keep us posted

 

[BumbleBee]

Sorry to hear they are acting like this hun but at the end of the day it's your decision not theirs. It is ridiculous of them to say that you'll probably end up in bed till tea time for a year then do nothing with your life, that is totally not true. When I was pregnant, yes I was ill for about 4 weeks and found it hard to get out of bed but after that I just went about my normal business. I was in university at the time but hated my course so i decided to drop out. However that was NOT the end of my education. I plan on doing a college course starting in October and then going on to do another uni course next year. Yes my life may have been put on hold but it certainly is not over and I intend to do what I want with it which is become a primary school teacher. So what if you have to take a year out of education. They need to understand that it IS NOT the end of the world! Yes a baby is a 24/7 responsibility but you have to have time for yourself and if they were that bothered they would maybe help take care of it while you study. Plenty of people do it and succeed and go on to have great careers. As for the money situation, I don't really know what to say on that. For you there are plenty of benefits you are entitled too and maybe you could use some of that to help them out. My parents used to moan that I spent to much time with my OH, I used to stay over at his a lot because he wasn't allowed to stay at mine and they used to say 'you'll end up getting pregnant' which I thought was stupid but they were right. But that wasn't because I spent too much time with him, it was just a mistake (I don't mean my baby was a mistake by any means!) Your parents are always going to be worried, angry, scared, whatever no matter how old you were when you got pregnant. It just so happens that because you aren't quite as independent those feelings are twice as bad. One of the first things my parents said was that I had ruined my life until my dad realised that wasn't true, I was just going to have to put it on hold for a while. They will come round to the idea eventually hun, even if it takes until she is born for them to realise how amazing it all is. Please don't give in to them. It really is your decision, it's your body and your baby. If you feel like you are able to give a child all the love and support that it needs then ignore their petty comments and if you are having any doubts at all about having an abortion it shows that already you do care about it and that you should really think long and hard about everything. Good luck hun, keep us posted

Thanks hon, i really appreciate everything you've said.
You are right, its up to me but i just feel like whatever i do will be the wrong decision and i cant please them. I wanted to go to college to start off with, but the only reason i chose to get a job was because they are struggling and i wanted to help them out. I put myself aside and thought of them because i thought after all the work theyve put in looking after me, i could repay them a bit, but even thats not good enough.

I would just go and stay at my boyfriend house but because of his sisters boyfriend staying and the baby its hard. And plus they need me, i feel like i cant leave them cus i look after them alot.

When do you tell your parents ? like how long after you found out you were pregnant?

 

[AppleBlossom]

Hun, at the end of the day, the only person you have to please is yourself. If your parents decide to support you, great. If not then they will truly be missing out. It's very selfless of you to want to help them out but it's not fair of them to expect that of you and be angry at you for not being able too. I was going to tell my parents before I went for my 8 week scan however the hospital posted a letter about it to their house instead of my uni address and they found out that way. My mum was hysterical for days and I felt like the worst person in the world because I had never seen her so upset. She had me at 20 and she knew how hard being a young mum was. I thought my dad would kill me. He didn't, he was just disappointed which was way worse. It took my mum a good few months to get her head round it and my dad even longer. Now she's here though, they love her to bits and can't keep their hands off her!

 

[Laura--x]

Hi hun

ive just found out im pregnant

im 16

i know how your feeling and so do many other girls on this site
its daunting and hard
but it has to be done

if you want to speak to me pm me at any time xx