18 too young to try?

[webville]

Hey everyone im new to this so bear with me.

I'm 18m my DB is 21 and we are hoping to try for our 1st in aug.
I feel ready and my DB is def ready we have our own flat and have been together for 3yrs in oct. i prefer staying in to going out and i'v got babies on the brain lol. do you think i'm too young? xx

 

[AppleBlossom]

Personally, yes. I'm 19 and have a little girl and I love her but I wish I could have had her later on in life. It's not just nights out you sacrifice. Everyday things like shopping, showering, peeing, they all become a chore and you're lucky to catch time to do it some days. You have to kiss goodbye to your freedom like meals out, holidays... not altogether but they're last on priority lists once a baby comes. And I would say 9 times out of 10 it puts a strain on relationships and sometimes it just gets too much. Babies are expensive to keep and a hell of a lot of hardwork. It's the little things that people don't think about when the decide to TTC young. Like you say, you prefer staying in. And yes, nights out would be rare. But so will so many other things that you don't even realise until you have a baby. For example I went 4 days without a shower one week when my LO was younger because she just screamed and screamed and I couldn't put her down. But at the end of the day it's your decision, nobody on here can make it for you. Good luck with whatever you decide x

 

[toffee87]

I think if you're asking the question, then it's likely you are.

I'd say wait a couple of years

 

[webville]

Im asking because i have panic attacks and tend to wait for "permission" to do things even though i'm an adult i feel as though i have to be allowed if that makes sense x

 

[WTTMommy]

Personally, I'd give it a few years. But, whatever you feel is right!

 

[rachjim98]

Its your body and your life.
If your mentally ready for a baby that will grow up very fast to become a running around toddler that turns into a screaming 3yr old. Next thing you know they are 9 and getting hair under their arms.. Oh sorry that's my life.. LOL

I started out young when I was 18 I had my first child, I thought i was so ready and then it hit me hard when his dad left me broke and homeless. I ended up giving him up for adoption to a family friend who couldn't have children. Hardest choice I have ever made but it was the best choice for him and me at that time I wasn't ready to be a parent.

Just make sure you are thinking of the baby too not just what you want.

Here I am 15 yrs later and I have 3 kids that are 9 and 6 and we just lost a baby last year.

Like I said its your life but make sure your ready cause once that baby is born it is all about them.

Not sure if any of this was useful or I just needed to get it out.

Alot of young people have kids and are wonderful parents.. I didnt mean to come across negative in anyway if I did. after reading my post I just wanted to say that. Goodluck to you and yours!
Take care

 

[MoonMuffin]

I would wait a few years if I had the choice. I'm 19 and even though I love my little girl with all my heart if there was a way to have HER a few years down the line, I would do it. You say you prefer staying to to going out, but you will have to go out anyways, only to the park and grocery store and doctor, etc. and it's so tough, I can't even grab a cup of coffee anymore unless my hubby is with me to stay with the baby (because these days you can't just leave them in locked car just to grab a coffee). Just to get out the door you have to entertain them long enough to get dressed and pack your diaper bag, feed them, change diaper (while they are squirming around kicking and screaming), dress them, (more struggling), carry the baby +your bag+whatever else you need to the car, fight world war three getting them buckled in, run back in for whatever you forgot, then on the drive there they are screaming and crying most of the way because they re hungry or wet and just don't like being in the car seat. It's hard work, and don't get me started on how much it sucks to get up so early every morning, after another broken up night of sleep. I happen to be very lucky because I have a wonderful hubby who is very involved with taking care of Kathryn (when he's not out at work), but not every man take most the "night shifts". Also money goes fast, very very fast. And there is lots of stuff I didn't get to do that wont happen for a long time now, for example me and my hubby didn't get a honeymoon since Kathryn was only a month old when we got married, and I couldn't afford a real wedding dress either. In fact I've never been on any vacation with my husband. I also had to leave school my first year of college, and I was going to art school, which I've gotten very rusty. My art sucks now since I have no time to do anything. And finally its VERY lonely. None of my friends are around except when they have breaks, and even when I do see them all they talk about is college, I have nothing in common with them anymore, and no one around here is my age and a mom.

Sorry if I sound pushy, and it's your choice. If you want a baby and think your ready then go for it. But please really really think about it first. Of course I wouldn't change a thing, my 'lil girl is so wonderful and I love her with all my heart, but it IS a challenge.

 

[ozbutterfly]

*HUGS* I think your dedication is awesome, but I also think waiting would be a good idea. (Waiting doesn't mean you can't look and/or buy some baby things to prepare!) There is a lot that happens in your late teens/early twenties, so no need to rush things.

 

[Aria]

Your other half says he's not ready. Absolutely do NOT force or pressure him. You BOTH need to be ready without question. Except for one, every teen parent I know that ended up being a mature adult, while they love their children without a doubt, wish they had waited a few years. There's a difference between liking to stay in and staying in and being waken up every few hours, changing diapers, nursing, etc., not to mention the costs. Can you afford a few hundred a month on diapers and even more on formula if you formula-feed? Are you willing to give up being able to go out without having to line up (and pay for) a babysitter? Would you be at an income level in a handful of years to be able to afford what school-age children need?

If you even have to ask, you're not ready. There's no going back when you're a mom. Wait a few years. It's good that you're asking though rather than jumping into it. But wait. You won't regret waiting, but you very well might regret doing this right now.

 

[Arcanegirl]

Id disagree with the others, there will always be that uncertainty whether you feel ready or not as its a big life change. Ive always had it through TTC and still have it now, yet i know ive not made a descision i will regret.
It took us 3 years to concieve so even with the slight doubts if i wasnt truly dedicated then i would be where i am now.

I dont think 18 is too young if you are in the right situation, we started when i was 18

 

[Aria]

Im asking because i have panic attacks and tend to wait for "permission" to do things even though i'm an adult i feel as though i have to be allowed if that makes sense x

I didn't read the comments before responding, and then I saw this.

You need to be adult enough to not feel you have to ask for permission. I don't mean to sound condescending, but a part of you very much is still a child if you need to wait for what you feel is a sort of permission. Becoming an adult doesn't start one magic day when you turn a certain age. Some people somehow become adults younger, and the vast majority years later than 18. Don't be in a rush to grow up. I mean that. I'd give anything to go back and enjoy still being a kid when I was 18 instead of in a rush to be an adult. Once you really cross that line, there's no going back to being carefree with few troubles. If you think life's hard now, it would be much harder with a baby.

 

[Arcanegirl]

I felt like that with my dad, still do sometimes. It can be just the upbringing that can make you like that, also the way some teens are discriminated against for being pregnant, maybe a good cause for feeling like that? I know i did...

 

[nadupoi]

I'll be 18 soon and feel like I'm near to being ready (mentally/emotionally) because, like you, I prefer staying in to going out. I've never been a 'partier'. I've never drank alcohol before in my life, I have no desire to go out and do things like that. And if I ever get those thought it's because that's just what everybody else is doing.

And while I too want to start tryin soon. I do think about the family my baby would be brought up in. The condition the baby would be brought up in. I'm trying to wait as long as I can so I can save money, so I can have a career and I won't have to interrupt my education. While we could manage right now. I don't want to have to manage. I want to be fully prepared.

I think you should try to wait a little longer. i mean, do what you want. It's your life, you know all that stuff better than any one of us do. But you could always start buying baby things and prepare slowly so it doesn't all hit you at once. I think that's what we're going to do.

 

[jen1604]

If its right for you hon then do it.
I know a lot of people will say you will regret it and you should wait a few years but if youve thought it through and you and your OH both want it then I dont see any reason why you shouldnt start trying.
I got pregnant with my little girl-who was planned-when I was 18 and I wouldnt change it for the world xx

 

[Kirstin]

It would be hypocritical of me to say you're too young as we started when I was 18 although I am 20 next week however one justification of being ready you have put is "you prefer staying in to going out" but theres more to life than nights out.

What are your ambitions? Is there anywhere you want to travel to? What are your career plans? Any courses you want to do? Do you have enough money to buy all the baby basics?

 

[leedsforever]

Personally... YES.. but thats because I look back to what I was like when I was 18... and everyone is different..!!

 

[Steffany08]

I'm 17 and I'm TTC it depends on where you are mentally more than anything, I believe. There are people living weathy that would be horrid parent and people living paycheck to paycheck that would make amazing parents. The only reason I know I'm ready is because of my stepson I've raised pretty much his whole life and now he is almost 4 and he is getting that annoying not listening stage and I believe me and my husband are good parents and we could have one. I prefer staying in too that is a very good thing. If you believe you are ready go for it. Just remember they are cute till they soil a diaper or sit up on you. and then ......... they grow then they aren't as cute and cuddly. They get indepent Gage will be going to school in a year and a half and I'm freaking out lol.

 

[leedsforever]

Ive read a couple of you have said you enjoy staying in and never touch drink etc... but my only question to that is... in 10 years time will you not look back and think you have missed out?? I had such a GREAT time before courtney and me and my friends reminise all the time... !!
Not trying to start an arguement... just curious??

 

[Aria]

I'll be 18 soon and feel like I'm near to being ready (mentally/emotionally) because, like you, I prefer staying in to going out. I've never been a 'partier'. I've never drank alcohol before in my life, I have no desire to go out and do things like that. And if I ever get those thought it's because that's just what everybody else is doing.

I know you're waiting, but I wanted to point out that just liking to stay in and not caring to drink and wanting a baby doesn't mean one's ready. That describes me at 17. When I got pregnant at 18, if I hadn't miscarried, I was going to adopt. I have never been one to go to clubs much or do any of that stuff, but there's much more to parenting, and looking back, I still know adopting would have been the right decision. It thought I was so mature (and I was more mature than most 18yo's, having lived most of my life in a hospital and living in a more adult-world), but now that I'm 18, I can look back and see that, while I was advanced maturity-wise, I was still very much a kid in many ways.

If you even have to ask, "Am I ready?" "Am I old enough?" "Should I have a baby right now?" The answer is NO. When you're ready there won't be a need to seek approval or to try to convince yourself that you are.

 

[Pops]

For me it is and I was a very mature 18 year old but I still wouldn't have been ready for a baby then. For you it may be totally different.

I am 27, OH is 31 and we are trying in a couple of months and I still feel a bit like I should be asking my Mum and Dad but I think that is very natural too.

You do what you feel is right, you will spend your whole life wondering if its the right thing and you will always find a reason for it not to be....you just have to go for it if it is what you really want

xxx