18 too young to try?

[leedsforever]

I know you're waiting, but I wanted to point out that just liking to stay in and not caring to drink and wanting a baby doesn't mean one's ready.

Totally agree with this...!!

 

[lozzy21]

I personaly would wait a few years hun. As the girls said its not just about going out but being able to pop to the shops for a pint of milk with out a military operation first. I dont have kids but have looked after enough to know how hard it is to pop out to the shops or to do the housework and take a shower. You have to constantly think about the LO before you do anything, even as simple as taking a wee, are they safe? can they get into any harm while im upstairs. Im 21 but the years iv had from 18 to 21 were the best of my life and as much as iv been wanting a LO for the past 2 years, i wouldent change a thing. You have the next 30 years to have a LO but once you have a LO, everything else goes out the window. Even when they have left home, tonight im going round my mam's for tea and then shes taking me shopping(im paying). She cant get rid of me. But at the end of the day its your choice.

 

[webville]

thanks for all the comments! i know theres alot more to it than just not going out drinking ive just never wrote on forums before and didn't really know how to express myself fully we'd be here all day lol x

 

[rachjim98]

thanks for all the comments! i know theres alot more to it than just not going out drinking ive just never wrote on forums before and didn't really know how to express myself fully we'd be here all day lol x

I hear you on that one.. I hope you find the answers within you, not what everyone on here tells you. Only you and your OH will truly know when the time is right. Best of luck

 

[AutumnRose]

Well i have just turned 18 and being a mother is something i have wanted since i was like 10
I know i will be a good parent and how i want to raise my children.
If i talk about babies my mother tells me im too young and i should wait till im 30.
But i know its something i feel ready for and nobody will make me change my mind. I am actually looking forward to the tantrums and the sleepless nights
But before i even try for a baby i want to make sure i buy my own house and have a job. Nobody can they say " you didnt give your child the best start in life".

 

[AppleBlossom]

At the end of the day, I agree with what others have said, if you are having to question whether you are too young to start trying for a baby the you are too young. But if you really feel like there is nothing else in life you want to achieve, like a long term career goal, apart from having a family then I suppose it's up to you. I just get annoyed because I wish I had had the opportunities that you young TTC'ers could still have but now I can't do because I have a baby (not that I resent her for a second) sorry if that offends anyone, it wasn't meant too

 

[Seity]

I think 18 is too young, which doesn't mean that a young mom wouldn't be awesome at the job. I just feel like given the choice waiting is in their best interest. My brother was 18 when he had his first, that was 12 years ago. He loves his kids and is glad he has them, but I know he realizes what he missed out on. I'm 35, soon to be 36 and I'm sure that I'm finally ready to be a mom someday, but the life change still scares the heck out of me.

 

[Tink.x]

Well i am 18 and i'm trying. I know i am ready. You reach a point where you know that your ready. I know that it wont be easy at first but i am prepared for that. Me & my partner are in a very loving relationship and we both feel its the right choice. So i say if its what you both want, go for it! Best of luck x

 

[AppleBlossom]

Well i am 18 and i'm trying. I know i am ready. You reach a point where you know that your ready. I know that it wont be easy at first but i am prepared for that. Me & my partner are in a very loving relationship and we both feel its the right choice. So i say if its what you both want, go for it! Best of luck x

It's not that it's not easy at first, it's NEVER easy. It is a very challenging and often stressful thing and will continue to be so until the day they leave home. Me and my ex were very much in love but the pressure of responsibilty and having no time for ourselves (amongst other things) eventually took it's toll. This doesn't include everyone in this situation obviously. But like you said, it's up to you. I just really wish there was some way you could see what you're really missing out on by trying for a child so young. But it seems you've made your decision and good luck

 

[leedsforever]

Even at 23 I look at things that I have in a sense missed out on... or would like to have achieved more before courtney had arrived!!

For instance... me and OH will never just be Kerry and David anymore... we are a family..!! Not just in a relationship with holidays and romantic breaks... !! Even though we have been together 5 years ...!!

I also have had to put my career on hold so money is tight! I missed out on going to LA with the girls... and Ive been on 6 girly hols and would have still liked more

Dont get me wrong I dont wish her not here but Im just saying how Ive lived a very busy life and still dont feel I have done everything!

 

[toffee87]

At 18 not many people know what they want to do career wise, that some times takes years...maybe decades. You may feel in a few years time that you'd wished you'd waited. It's not just about money and sleepless nights, you need to find yourself. And at 18, frankly you know very little. I was a totally different person 4 years ago, yet I felt I knew myself. People change and develope. At 18 your life is ONLY just beginning. Personally, I would wait atleast a couple of years, so that you can re-assess. You'll still be young, but you'll have more life experience and you may find that you'll be very glad that you waited, and even may want to wait longer.

 

[jen1604]

And at 18, frankly you know very little..

Got to disagree with you on this one hon.Thats definitely putting all 18 year olds in one group.I knew just as much at age 18 as I know now and I dont think you'd say that I know very little...
Also what does it matter if you dont know what you want to do career wise?If its what you want to do why is it a bad idea to have babies first and career after,surely if you dont know what career you want to do it makes sense to do something you know you DO want to do?
I know lots and lots of ladies who have done babies first,career after.I think doing things that way round is definitely becoming more and more popular all the time.

 

[lozzy21]

I know lots and lots of ladies who have done babies first,career after.I think doing things that way round is definitely becoming more and more popular all the time.

There is nothing wrong with this but if you think from a money point of view, if you go to collage before your 19 its free, if you go after your looking at between £400 and £900 a corse. If i had had to pay for my nvq 3 in health and social care it would have cost me £650.

 

[jen1604]

I definitely agree with that hon.
I was saying though for people that dont know what they want to do with their career though,why go to college just for the sake of going to college when you dont even know if you want to get a job in whatever you qualify in?xx

 

[lozzy21]

Yep mine was the other way round a bit, my mam wanted me to do my A levels but for what i wanted to do they were compleatly useless so went through the nvq route instead. Even if i had done my A levels i would have had to still do my nvq.

Most jobs nowaways will put you through any qualifications you need.

 

[toffee87]

And at 18, frankly you know very little..

Got to disagree with you on this one hon.Thats definitely putting all 18 year olds in one group.I knew just as much at age 18 as I know now and I dont think you'd say that I know very little...
Also what does it matter if you dont know what you want to do career wise?If its what you want to do why is it a bad idea to have babies first and career after,surely if you dont know what career you want to do it makes sense to do something you know you DO want to do?
I know lots and lots of ladies who have done babies first,career after.I think doing things that way round is definitely becoming more and more popular all the time.

I don't mean general knowledge-wise. I mean about life in general. People change so much in their late teens/early twenties. Everyone I know has, even if they are mostly the same, they know/experienced more to be able to manage with such life changing events.

It doesn't matter what you want to do with a career, but I think it's so unwise to jump into having a baby before being settled. Aslong as the parents are willing to stick at their jobs, until they are able to change paths (and not seek off the government) then that's fine.

People change at ALL ages, I am aware, but I can guarantee that at the age of 25 you'll know at 18 you were different. I don't mean in terms of interests/career, just in general terms. I notice a radical difference every year, I'm growing up lol. And if I'd have had a baby 4 years ago...I wouldn't have coped any where near as much as I would if I had one now.

 

[CamoQueen]

I don't think anyone can really answer this question for you. I mean, my gut reaction is to say that it very well could be too young for the majority of people... but I don't know you, I don't know your OH, I don't know if it's right for you or if you should wait a while longer. Like others have said, only you know if you are ready for a baby.

I'm 23 and had my first last November. I went to college for two years before I left for the military, where I met my husband. I can honestly say that I partied HARD in college, enough to get it out of my system. I still enjoy a drink every now and then, but not five or six drinks at a sitting like I used to do.

Good luck with your decision. Kids are something that will change your life forever... in good and bad ways, I think (well, bad if you like your free time, lol).

 

[toffee87]

Kids are something that will change your life forever... in good and bad ways, I think (well, bad if you like your free time, lol).

Lol. Nicely put

 

[Lovemyboy]

I fell pregnant at 20 and had my little boy at 21. I feel it was a perfect age to start a family. I agree with the majority, i would wait a year or so. I am sure you are responisble, commited and mature, however you are still young, there is plenty of time left!

x

 

[leeanne]

This was an old thread