:(

[MrsHippo]

I am 7 weeks postpartum, 8 on Sunday. I've been struggling with my emotions and I think they could damage my relationship with my OH.

Since having my LO I have hugely missed being pregnant and even now it upsets me. I see a pregnant woman or pregnancy related things and I feel jealous or upset. I can't seem to snap out of it!! I had a really rough time during my first three months of pregnancy but the rest was really nice. Not sure why I miss it so much though. But overall I was ok up until my first period which finished late last week... I snap at every little thing, my partner is getting the brunt of it all. I feel as though he keeps saying or doing the wrong thing. For example he started going running with his friends in the evenings (he is working away at the moment so will go on a Friday and over the weekend) and that irritates the hell out of me because he will just go and not ask me if its ok or ask to look after Beau while I have some time to myself ect. Then the biggest problem is that he is going on a stag weekend in a couple of weeks in Ibiza for around 4 days. When it was arranged, I again, never got asked if it was ok (that I minded him going while I stayed at home) and he paid for it. I have heard him multiple times talking to the guys going about how much he is looking forward to it ect and not once has he thought about how I felt staying at home looking after Beau while he is out on the piss with his friends out of the country. I really wasn't happy about it but didn't say anything as I'd probably ended up hated by his friends for telling him I wasn't happy with it or I'd look like the worlds worst girlfriend. So instead I arranged for me, Beau and my sister to go down to Cornwall for the weekend to keep my mind off it. But the closer it comes to the date, the more resentful I am starting to feel and I get really upset about the fact that he can go off and live this child free life while I am left looking after her. I have said the odd thing but it always turns in to an argument.

Its not just that though, I just feel really unhappy. I love my little girl to bits and don't regret having her whatsoever but I haven't adapted as well as I thought I would. Its actually become worse over the last couple of weeks. I hate the way I look at the moment, I hate that I can't just do what I want but what irritates me the most is that my OH can just go out here, there and everywhere. Don't get me wrong, he is a really good dad and I love him to bits. But I feel as though my life has massively changed, yet, his hasn't.

Doesn't help that we have been trying to sell our apartment since January and have recently decided to rent it out (we will be moving in to a rental ourselves in 7 weeks), but we hate where we are currently living due to the neighbours and then money is really tight too.

My OH has just put the phone down on me after having a slight squabble and now isn't talking to me. I try and go to him to explain how I feel and why I am reacting the way I am but he doesn't understand...or like now, just completely ignores me.

I find that I am crying everyday now. I don't want to feel like this anymore why can't I just be happy???

I go out most days and meet my mum, see a friend, or even just pop to the shops so its not like I'm stranded at home or anything.

I don't know what to do

 

[Miss Vintage]

It sounds tough hon, I'm not surprised you're feeling resentful of your OH, I would too in your situation. My boyfriend does the same sort of thing, makes plans and doesn't think to check how I feel about it, so I sympathize. Have you talked to anyone about how you're feeling? Your mum, the doctor? It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed, having a baby means a massive change in your life and it's a lot to come to terms with. However, if you feel things aren't improving or you feel worse, please talk someone. I have PND and whilst it was scary to admit to how I was feeling, I felt so much better when I shared. Big hugs to you, you're doing great, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes.