19-month-old wants to nurse more and more

[bananaz]

Previously my daughter had been down to only one breastfeed first thing in the morning, but for the past month she's been demanding to nurse more and more often, and her nursing sessions have extended to 30-40 minutes long.

Whenever we're in public and she starts to feel a little insecure, she'll jab her finger at my chest and chant "Eat eat eat," and sometimes she even pulls down my shirt. At home I can't be on the floor with her or hold her for extended periods of time without her demanding to nurse. I accommodate her when I can, but there are many times that I don't want to nurse her, and when I tell her "no" she completely loses the plot and it takes ages to calm her down.

Back when she was only nursing once a day I thought I would let her wean herself when she was ready, but now I'm getting fed up and don't know what I want to do. Trying to wean her now would be a total nightmare, but I can't deal with this behavior. It's like having a newborn, except this newborn yells at me and likes to do gymnastics while she's latched

 

[bumpbear]

Poor you! This must feel so frustrating given how close to weaning you had come (if that is what you want to be doing right now).

I read this article when I was at banging my head against the wall phase of trying to wean my toddler and it helped me to cope with nursing a toddler a lot better:

https://theleakyboob.com/2011/06/toddler-breastfeeding-frustration-and-what-keeps-me-going/

It doesn't help with ideas on how to wean, but it did make me look at things from LO's point of view so that I could figure out why she might be demanding to nurse so much and how to gently wean her.

The main things I learned about my daughter were that:
- she is a very routine oriented child, so by taking the focus off nursing as a major part of her day, she became less dependent on it. DH took over morning and night routine so nursing wasn't a part of that. I also noticed she was less eager to nurse when we were out, so we would go out ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, until she got to the point where the thought of nursing during the day didn't really cross her mind anymore, even when we were home all day.
- she is a very headstrong child who likes a challenge. If I ever told her no, she would insist and insist until she got the goods, and then nurse for ages. I guess on those occasions, it had been a challenge for her to get it so she was not going to give it up easily. She also demanded to be nursed more often on those days, perhaps because the thought of not being allowed to have it was weighing on her mind. When I switched to gentle distraction and never saying an outright 'no', she seemed to want it less - maybe because she always knew that if she asked, she could have some.

Not sure if any of this is helping you in any way, but I know exactly how you feel. I had a love-hate relationship with nursing at various points towards the end.