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[WantingABubba]

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[Becky61]

Hi,
You are going to be fine.
I was 22 when I discovered I was 6 weeks pregnant. FOB didn't want to know. We argued solid for 9 months, it was hell. I was the most stressed & worried I had ever been in my life...
Now we are friends, he sees lo 4 times a week, & I am am the happiest I've ever been in my life.
I'm not saying that he will change his mind, but 9 months is a long time, & time is the greatest healer in a situation like this.
Plus, when he sees that little bundle, or hears of baby's arrival, it could all change, a little too late in my opinion, but that's men!
I guess all I'm trying to say is PLEASE enjoy this pregnancy, my biggest regret was letting FOB, & the stress, anxiety & worry of our arguments etc. ruin it, when all along, if I had known what it would feel like, holding my baby in my arms, I wouldn't of cared at all.
I hope you have support from family & friends, if not, let the midwife know your doing it alone.
This is your time. Such a special & precious time. Things will work out in the end.
Good luck!
Becky
x

 

[sammynashley]

Hi Hun, I had a similar thing at 19 we tried for DS for months but when I actually found out I was pregnant he decided he wasn't ready and wanted to walked away completely, told me to terminate and it's such a nasty thing for a guy to say about their own child (hugs)

Please do not let yourself get wound up and stressed over him. You and your baby are worth more than that! Guys can take a while to come to terms with things me and hubby sorted things out by the time DS was born then 9months later I fell pregnant with DD by accident and he went very distant for a few weeks then came round again.

Please enjoy your pregnancy it is all about you and your baby embrace all the pregnancy things because its your time

 

[Dream.dream]

Hi first off hugs I know how hard that is . Both my boys dads have said this at one point.

Hard as it is try not to focus on it , they are saying it to be hurtful or because they are scared but the chance of him actually never wanting to see te child once its is here are very slim.

And even then the child is still his responsibility whether he wants it or not . He'll have to pay child support , and even if he doesn't like it that child is his and hell have to acknowledge that some day.

Keep your chin up and remember your not alone

 

[Breezybaby80]

Hey Hun I'm expecting my first and understand exactly how u feel. The fob doesn't want to know him at all, says he will pay maintenance but doesn't want to be a dad! I told him that I thought he was selfish etc and I hurt for my baby not for me but he's had nearly 8 months to get used to it and still doesn't want to know so don't think he ever will but that's his loss. It don't matter how much u try to make them see sense for ur baby's sake men are stubborn and will only do what they want and freak out if they feel pressured as I've found out.
Ur find it hard getting ur head around it for a while like I did but ur get used to the idea ur gonna be a single mum but as others have said he may come round

 

[WantingABubba]

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[teal]

My ex and I broke up when I was 4 weeks pregnant because I refused to have a termination. My son is now almost 3.5 years old and has never met my ex. It's hard going at times but you'll get there

 

[WantingABubba]

My ex and I broke up when I was 4 weeks pregnant because I refused to have a termination. My son is now almost 3.5 years old and has never met my ex. It's hard going at times but you'll get there

I just don't understand how somebody can know they have created a child and turn their back on them

Sorry this happened to you and your son x

 

[teal]

I don't understand it either but it's their loss

 

[WantingABubba]

I don't understand it either but it's their loss

Absolutely xx

 

[beanzz]

Honestly, you don't need him. You'll do better without that sack of shit making you feel angry at all the stuff he wouldn't be doing to help if he was to stick around.

I left FOB when LO was 5 months old and those 8 months I was a single mum were less stressful as I could get on and do everything myself. Instead of getting stressed out cos he wouldn't offer to help or something.

Forget about him! one day you'll meet someone who will treat LO as if they are his own and will help you out but for now you will have to be strong

 

[daneuse27]

Im sorry to hear that FOB is not showing the commitment that he should be
I honestly wonder how much of his move to Dubai is voluntary. It just seems super convenient for him given the timing.

Its totally up to you, but I would consider filing for child support from him once the baby is born. If he's not going to be a father figure for his child, he is at the very least responsible for contributing financially for him or her until they are 18.

 

[Dezireey]

It's really and truly his loss hun, really it is. I mean, look what these men give up - a person in the world who would love them unconditionally, someone to support them, a best friend, a family etc etc. The losers can't see past this image of a screaming baby and seem to forget that these children grow into adults one day, adults that they can talk to and relate to properly. Its all too late when an FOB realises years into the future what they have done, they end up with little to no bond with a kid/adult they now want to know or they live a life of 'what if?' and 'I wonder what my child is doing etc'.

Leave him to his own devices. My FOB just told me that he was leaving his job and moving away and couldn't help out financially anymore. Well I called his bluff and CSA are making sure I get child support now. The stupid idiot is only moving to the next town 10 miles away, so he only has himself to blame. Best say to your FOB 'okay, go to Dubai. I won't be around nor will your child when you get back'

I would only give a bloke one chance after he pulls the 'I don't want the baby and I am going to disappear' move and that's when baby is born. If he comes around then, then he can be forgiven for being scared and freaked about it all. If he still doesn't man up, then seriously forget him. If the sight of his newborn child does not alter his behaviour, then he is a lost cause I'm afraid.

 

[WantingABubba]

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[WantingABubba]

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[WantingABubba]

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[babycrazy1706]

Good luck hun. Glad he seems to be coming around abit. Big hugs. Xx

 

[Mummy1995]

Arsehole you can do it on your own though I'm 18 and have a 10 month old. Me and fob broke up when I was around 12 weeks gone. He's had (almost) no involvement and has never paid maintenance! It's hard but it's so worth it! Let him go to Dubai if he wants.. He sounds like he's gonna be a deadbeat and at least if he's the other side of the world there's a legitimate reason for him not being around so it'll be easier an less harsh to explain to LO when the time comes instead of having no reason other than he didn't care or couldn't be bothered, even if that was true too x

 

[WantingABubba]

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[WantingABubba]

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