1st 2WW driving me insane

[roothy]

Just needed to vent some emotion guys
Had m/c in Feb and then ERPC. 1st pregnancy after 2 yrs trying, I am now in first cycle ( AF came mid March) and we have started trying this cycle. Ovulation was ( I think) about 10 days ago and so now am in limbo waiting to see what will happen
This last couple of weeks I have felt more 'normal' again. I have been doing temps and OPKs but trying not to get too obsessed. Have started planning other things in life and enjoying things again. But last couple of days the black cloud is back. Tearful and emotional.
If my period comes at end of the week I will be devastated and feel such a failure. If it doesnt come then I will be beside myself with the anxiety about another pregnancy. I want my BFP so much. I want to be able to bring a life into this world and hold that baby in my arms - but this is so awful..... waiting, hoping, more waiting.... Its so not fair

I know this will pass and life will continue whatever happens but I just needed to voice the feelings

 

[Hanskiz]

So sorry for your loss.

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I too had an mc in February (discovered at 12 week scan baby had not made it past 8 weeks), and had first af 19th March. I'm 10 dpo (same as you) and I have such mixed feelings. On the one hand I desperately want to be PG again and on the other I'm almost too scared.

It's a really tough time, don't worry about needing to vent - here is the perfect place. We've all been through the same things and we've all felt the same emotions. It's natural to be scared and worried about another pregnancy. It's natural to be upset if af comes. Just remind yourself if af does show that your body is just taking the time it needs to recover. It's hard I know, but try not to let it get to you too much. It's not your fault, none of this is. Be kind to yourself.

I'll keep my FX'd for you that you get your bfp!!

Big x

 

[roothy]

Thanks Hanksiz. Sorry for your loss too hun.
I'm trying just to get on with life - to not over obsess - but its so hard. Every twinge or change in temp chart can make you think that the BFP is around the corner. Almost setting myself up for a fall. I know its life- all of this- and if its meant to be it will be - but I just want that chance you know

Lots of to you
Let me know how you get on as the clock counts down ........

 

[Hanskiz]

Yeah, not obsessing is SO hard. I've never wanted to get pregnant so much as I do now - and yet I'm scared if I am. I know I'll not be able to relax until I can feel baby moving inside me and that is WAY off!!

It's tough, wanting something so much and yet knowing it will turn you into a ball of stressed out nervousness if it happens!

Like you say - this is just life, but it's still hard!

It's so reassuring to know that so many other women have been through this and that everything I'm feeling is normal.