1st Clomid Cycle - Just had BFN :(

[LizMcD]

Mrs G i'd love to talk some sense into you but i can't because I obsess about the month in which my baby will be born too! You'd think i'd just be grateful to get one lol. A psychic told me (sorry to those who don't believe) that i'd conceive next March which, if it happens, ill be thrilled about but couldn't help thinking that will mean a Christmas baby! I always feel sorry for kids born at christmas but hey, i would be FOREVER grateful

Im on month 16 now too. Im waiting to start iui no.2 - first one failed so we're having xmas off to relax and drown our sorrows! I don't want to put you off at all because iui works for some people and im praying no 2 or 3 works for us. All i would say is if your hubby has good SA you've a better chance, my hubbys isn't brilliant (poor morphology) so that's the only thing i can put our failure down to - the egg was there!!

Wishing you lots of luck xx

 

[trying hard]

maybe the levels are measured differently down here in new Zealand but now you guys have me worried. I was told that over 15 ment o had occurred and I was happy with my 30.4 until I read what you guys are saying it sounds like my 30.4 is pathetic

 

[mg80]

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[mg80]

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[Sophe]

maybe the levels are measured differently down here in new Zealand but now you guys have me worried. I was told that over 15 ment o had occurred and I was happy with my 30.4 until I read what you guys are saying it sounds like my 30.4 is pathetic

UK uses a different messurement than NZ and most other places it seems! don't worry your result is fine!

 

[Sophe]

Hi Sophe,

I just finished my last Clomid pill for round three, urgh! Getting tired of this BS now. We decided to throw away some more money and pay for one go at private IUI for my January cycle. It's terrible to say it but I already feel so negative about it and think "why am I just throwing away £1,000 that will just be wasted when IUI fails" and it's money I could be spending on getting things for our house. But I would rather give it a try just in case it DOES work. I worry that negative thinking is stopping me getting my BFP but I can't NOT feel negative and defeatist as this is my 16th month trying! Hubby is away til CD14 as well so I'm probably out already for this month!! My consultation for IUI is on 16th December. Hubby said to rearrange it as that's ovulation time and we might catch in December cycle and have wasted £195 on the consultation. I said I just know our luck and that we won't catch in December anyway so best to go for the consultation! As I want to get in there in time for the IUI to be done for my early January ovulation.

Had a surprise in the post today though- a letter confirming I've been referred for IVF!! Had to ring them and they told me on the phone that the wait for consultation is about 6 months so not too bad considering. Can't believe that I'm on the waiting list and talking about IVF though - I just can't believe it got to this

PS is anyone else funny about months for their baby to be born?? I obsess over it as I never wanted a winter baby, I always wanted summer babies, birthday babies, FathersDay/Mothers Day babies. If I conceive in January from my IUI it will mean a yucky October winter birth I do tend to romanticize things in this way, please talk some sense into me someone! I think it's worse as my SIL and my brother's girlfriend both have nice months for their babies: March (my birthday), May and August. So I feel super jealous!

sorry to hear you are feeling bad...

I know how you feel, we are paying 385 just for a scan and 1 hour consultation, then god knows how much for whatever they suggest we do.

In my mind I obsess about it, wondering if paying for IUI is a waste on money towards IVF, I think of it daily, I know what you are going through, i decided after my first clomid BFN that clomid would not work for me, and it seems my negative mental attitude prevents it from working. It really does send you loopy this TTC, I blame my mental state for the BFN's in a vicious circle of anger and blame and hate and sadness.

I hate the unexplained part too, as it could mean theres something very wrong and they just haven't found it and it will take years to ever find the problem and if they do it might not be something they can do anything about... why is life so bloody cruel to us, I mean what have we done to deserve this???

ok rant over.... but just want you to know you are not alone in your feelings and others before us have gone down this road and come out the otherside, we still have a chance!

 

[Sophe]

A psychic told me (sorry to those who don't believe) that i'd conceive next March which, if it happens, ill be thrilled about but couldn't help thinking that will mean a Christmas baby! I always feel sorry for kids born at christmas but hey, i would be FOREVER grateful

Haha, I was told last year by a psychic I would get my BFP in Dec, now I am hoping she made a mistake and its actually this Dec... the things we do TTC!!

 

[mg80]

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[Sophe]

I know its hard when we see the BFP's from people we chat to, but we have to remember they were once feeling just like us, and they got there, i bet they did not expect it either.. it should give us hope, although I know its hard to see hope after so much dissapointment. Just think if no one ever got a BFP on LTTTC that would be far more worrying for us, we would have nothing to give us hope...

I know the feeling though, it feels like it will never be my time, one day is never today and I get angry and frustrated. I am feeling ok today, but I am so up and down, I have days when it feel like the end of the world like there is no point to anything, which is a difficult feeling to have to deal with, never thought I would be faced with it, but here I am.

There is still lots you can try, please don't give up, keep trying and eventually it will be your turn... IUI may work for you, you never know, it has to work for someone??

(((HUGS)))

 

[nik25]

Hello ladies I hope you don't mind if I join in? This is the exact post I needed to read. My hubby and I have been ttc for 2 1/2 yrs. Unexplained also. It's so hard...I'm now on my fourth pill of clomid Round #4! I have a check up w/ my OB/Gyn tomorrow to see where to go from here. I only have one more month after this of Clomid- then It's off to a Fertility Specialist Praying hard for all of us Hope you ladies have a great night!

 

[wonderstars]

Sorry you're having such a tough go MrsG. LTTC is horrific. There are too many aspects to think of and each path is just scary and sad.

Thinking positive thoughts for your IUI, there have been people who've successfully done it!Let's hope you don't need to go the IVF route but at least you know that the referral is in and you may end up with a beautiful month baby!

I'm trying to spread the positivity but I'm highly doubtful in my attempts. Hang in there.

 

[LizMcD]

A psychic told me (sorry to those who don't believe) that i'd conceive next March which, if it happens, ill be thrilled about but couldn't help thinking that will mean a Christmas baby! I always feel sorry for kids born at christmas but hey, i would be FOREVER grateful

Haha, I was told last year by a psychic I would get my BFP in Dec, now I am hoping she made a mistake and its actually this Dec... the things we do TTC!!

lets hope it is this Dec sophe! You never know! I take all this pcyhic business too literally but i have to believe in something. Good luck

 

[LizMcD]

Sophe - thanks for making me feel less alone

I've been on a downer and feeling alone and crappy because I've seen a few people that have posted on here and I replied to have now got their BFPs recently and I'm still waiting on mine, which made me freak out a bit and feel like it's not going to happen for me. When is it going to be our turn dammit!

I've even thought about leaving the forum and deleting my account as it just makes me feel worse when people are getting BFPs and I think "how come it was just their time? But when is it going to be "just my time", you know?

But your post definitely made me feel less stressed and lonely in this struggle.
Your post is exactly how I feel. I feel like infertility has chewed me up and spit me out and it's robbed the whole experience now for me - I worry that I'll still feel bitter when I get my BFP because it took so much heartache to get it so it sucked all the magic out of it

I completely agree with this, all the surprise and magic has been taken out of getting preg, as all my family know when all i wanted to do was surpise them with a 'guess what, im pregnant' but now it will never be a surprise. Ive vowed not to tell anyone when my next iui is because i can't stand the questions. It should be the best time of our lives but instead we have all this suffering just to get there!

I knwo about 3 girls on here who recently got preg and it whilst Im v happy for them, each one thoroughly deserves it, Im left feeling 'when will it be my turn?' It made me feel like giving this site a break too but really i need it, to vent and share

 

[Sophe]

yes the suprise and magic has been taken away from me too, it makes me sad and angry, its horrible. I feel like it will never be me that I will sit by and watch everyone on here and everyone in real life get preggo, but it will never be me, then I wonder what I will do, I will have to give up and what will I do with my time and my life and it scares me... the emotial torture of LTTTC is horendus and no one apart from us understands, its so lonely... I just hope we will all get there some day soon x

 

[mg80]

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[Sophe]

I just turned 33... I didn't want to be an old Mum, but think I will be if I ever am a Mum.

 

[mg80]

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[babyliciouss]

Sophe babes be hopeful as long as you have a baby before 40 I think its okay.

I went for my cd 21 progestrone blood test last week and got the results today which was 51 which shows i did ovulate.