1st RE Appt and what to expect

[Smille24]

I have my 1st RE appt next month and I'm very nervous. We've been trying for over a year ntnp for a year b4 that. I have a dd from a previous relationship and this will be my dh's 1st child. Because I'm doing everything I could do and nothing has happened, my obgyn requested my dh get an SA. It turns out he has low count and low motility. She said there's a chance we can get pregnant bc it takes only 1 sperm, but it would be a struggle. She said there's nothing she can do and we would need to see an RE. I was hoping to get in after his Urologist appt, but there's only 1 available day left or I'll have to wait until next year.
What can I expect at this 1st appointment and will there be any further testing at this appointment?

 

[Lues]

Hi,

First of all, crazy as this may sound, I say congratulations! Going to a specialist is a big deal. I thought it would be scary and would make me feel less hopeful. I avoided it for almost two years.

I wish I had gone sooner.

I'm sure every office is different. They will likely run bloodwork on you, and depending on the office, and the time in your cycle, perhaps a few other tests. Mine was a very LONG appointment (almost 4 hours including the tests they had me take right then and there).


Bring notes on your cycles if you have them. What day you've ovulated, (and how you know, OPKs versus temping) how long your cycles are, how long your luteal phases are, and any notes you have on cervical mucous, etc.

Some places may test you right in the office and discuss the results in the same meeting. Others may schedule testing and a follow up appointment. Either way, they'll probably talk to you both about a plan.

I suggest calling the office and asking them if they will be running tests in the office, and how long a new patient appointment usually is. This might help you manage your expectations.

I thought knowledge would be scary, but I was surprised that I found it incredibly empowering. There were things we could DO! And they weren't all scary medications I wasn't comfortable with or big procedures! You never know. There might be more you can do than you think.

And honestly, an obgyn saying it's low count/motility may be different than an RE's opinion. They often have different definitions of "normal" because they're use to working with us out here in the fray. In the world of "abnormal" he might be just fine!

My other suggestion: If you aren't comfortable with the office, or doctor... LEAVE, FIND ANOTHER!

My first office made me uncomfortable. They made me feel like MY thoughts didn't matter and I was supposed to blindly follow whatever they said. I left, did a bunch of research, talked to the ladies at the front desks of a few offices (often a good indicator of the vibe of an office in my opinion) and my next visit was incredible.

I trust them. But they also listen to ME. If I want to push for a test, or an extra ultrasound or NOT taking something, they understand that fertility care is EXTREMELY personal and support my decisions.

For me... this is huge.

But again... I completely understand how unnerving it can be to be making an appointment with an RE.

In case this is comforting at all: I had been TTC for almost two years when I started going to my specialist (the one I love). First appt was in February. It took two cycles to get my progesterone dosing correct and I was pregnant in late May.

(Unfortunately that ended in a miscarriage in early July, but that was unrelated and I'm just now getting back to trying again, and hoping it happens just as fast again with the same interventions!)

My point being that going to a specialist can be a very emotional experience, but it can also bring great hope and comfort, in knowing that you're surrounded by people that get it.

Good luck and keep us posted!

 

[Smille24]

Thank you so much for your kind words and your reply. I am also very sorry for your loss . I am very scared, but I am happy to finally get help. After 2 yrs I am ready to throw in the towel, but I can't give up on it. We really wanted this to be a relaxed approach, but turned into actually trying, now it feels like it's unobtainable. I read that the appt can be a few hours. I just wish my dh could go, but his work schedule does not allow for him to make it.

I know the hospital they are associated with is very good, so my hope is this doctor is as well. If not, I will definitely move on without hesitation. I've been to a few obgyns b4 I found this one and I really like her. She really did all she could to help, made me feel like a priority and gave me comfort, but there's only so much she could do.

I told my dh that I could be a problem as well, so the tests will surely tell us. Of course his pride is hurt, but it's just a hurdle we have to overcome. This whole ttc thing has really brought us closer together, but has torn us down at the same time individually. After all of this time, we really thought we'd be on baby #3.

This is a huge step we were not anticipating, but I am sure things will work out. It's the thought, the options and the unknown that scares us. I will keep in touch with how it goes.

 

[Lues]

Oh I can relate SO much.

When I stopped taking the pill, I was all.... "we'll just let nature take it's course, even it takes a while, it'll happen". Then it was... well, maybe I should try to pay attention to my body to know when I ovulate. Then as I watched person after person in my life get pregnant, one step at at time, I thought about going to an RE.

But I felt like I was taking the magic, the intimacy out of having a child.

I won't lie... I still feel that way sometimes. But honestly, my brief pregnancy cured me of any concerns about that. Once I was pregnant, it didn't matter that we had done IUI. It didn't matter that we (theoretically) hadn't conceived in our bedroom, all that mattered was that we had created our little bean. All that magic, came back.

It's scary and overwhelming still, of course. But it's also nice in a way sometimes to feel like I'm DOING something.

I surprise myself sometimes as how often I'm wrong about how something is going to make me feel. This is my first cycle trying again after the miscarriage. I'm shocked that I'm all excited this time. I thought I'd feel like "ugh... here we go again". Instead I'm in a "at least we know it can happen!" mindset.

Keep us posted! Feel free to PM me!