2 Emergency sections, 2 losses at 24 weeks & 1 baby fighting for her life in NICU.

[SugarKisses]

Boy what a shitty life this is.

I lost my 1st baby Sophie at 24 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I went in to labour early, for no known reason and she died during labour. A year and a half later, I was pregnant again, with my 2nd baby, Luke. My body, went into labour again, at 23 weeks and I held on for another week, till he was born by emergency section. He lived for 2 days. It broke me having to have 2 funerals for my 2 babies and having to say goodbye to them.
3 months after having him and after recovering from a difficult section, I was once again pregnant (funny, considering I have PCOS) this time, I did everything I could to stay pregnant. I did research to help prevent prem labour, I was seen every other week/weekly by my consultant (think shes going to be grey before long ) and I even went in to hospital for 3 weeks over my danger period to try and keep it from happening.
It paid off and I was able to get past 24 weeks. I was hopeful that I would be 3rd time lucky and have a normal healthy pregnancy.
29th October....I went for a walk-so stupid of me- and I started getting some familiar pains. They werent too painful but they were enough to get me concerned. So I set off up the hospital to get checked out. Pains started getting worse, so they did an internal-I was 3-4cm dilated
Thankfully the pains did die down, but I did start loosing my plug over the next 2 days.
Monday 1st November -26 weeks and 6 days gone. My pains were back with a vengeance and so they did another internal, but they were unsure as to how far gone I was, but the decided the best thing to do was to take me down to labour ward. This was at 5pm and by 5.10 I was being wheeled down for another emergency section. I was hours away from being in 3rd tri for the 1st time in 3 pregnancies

I got prepped and sorted out and by 5.38pm I was being cut open.
My 2nd baby girl was born at 5.51 and she took a gasp by herself and she started crying when they were trying to ventilate her. It was THE best sound ever.
There was a small clot on my placenta so they are queering a small placental abruption and clearly, if that is what is was, Katie was better off out than in-I was still only 3-4cm when they took me in for the c-section.

Katie, is doing really well for a baby of her gestation. She crys, poo's, gets the hiccups, shes ever so active and she opens her eyes alot. She had been breathing on her own since day 2, but was put on a machine called humicare a few days ago because she sometimes has drops in her sats and heart rate-which is ever so scary.... so most of the time she is on air, but there is times when she does get a little tired and needs a bit of help.
Shes on full feeds now aswell.

I think, even though I had 2 days with Luke in NICU, that I underestimated how hard this journey is....for me personally-its nearly as bad as having 2 funerals for my babies....of course, Katie's funeral is already planned out in my head. I cant allow myself to see her coming home, I dont see how I could be that lucky when the other 2 didnt make it?
I just want to take my hat off to everyone who has spent time in NICU and had to leave their babies behind every single day. I am finding it extremely difficult and I dont know how you did it...x

 

[andbabymakes3]

I just read this and you've made me bloody cry again woman!! Your little Katie is going to be absolutely fine, she has her big bro and big sis (and her amazing mummy) looking after her.

I can't even begin to understand how hard it is for you to leave her in NICU, but you need to make sure you look after yourself as well, Katie needs her mummy fit and healthy for when she comes home (and she will be coming home).

Lots and lots of love and hugs and strength to you (and a teeny tiny gentle hug for Katie!) x

 

[AP]

Welcome over babe, its no scary over here hunny!! We're like a lil cosy club!

We did it, and you will too, because we dont know any different, and we're super preemie mummies

Its early days still, give yourself time to get your head round it. It took me a few weeks and its all a real blur - Alexs diary tells me bits i dont remember, tooootal blanks.

Believe it or not, I got so used to the journeys to and from the hospital that the day we did leave for good, I cried all the way home, because it had become a part of my life. I have a strange fondness for the neonatal unit now, almost miss it, in a weird weird way.

Katie is a real fighter - to be on air before even the gestation Alex was born still astounds me and David, and im sure it will impress the girls here too!

Donna, she's doing so so well, let yourself believe babe

PS. I bumped this up for you https://www.babyandbump.com/premature-babies/266040-best-things-having-preemie.html

 

[princess_bump]

hope you don't mind me posting sweetie, but i just wanted to say how amazing i think you and your beautiful babies are hope you no that your never far from my thoughts xx

 

[bump_wanted]

xxx

 

[TwoBumps]

Hey hun congratulations on the birth of Katie! It sounds like she is doing absolutely fantastically life in the NICU is one hell of a rollercoaster so prepare yourself for lots of ups and downs. Do let yourself believe in Katie though, she sounds like a real little fighter & I have no doubt that she will amaze you x

 

[Lottie86]

I was halfway through typing Sandi a message through FB to see how you and Katie were doing when I spotted this thread lol.

Sending you massive hugs Katie is such a fighter and she is doing amazingly well! Breathing on her own when she was born at that gestation and being on air most of the time and full feeds already is absolutely fantastic!!! She is a very lucky little girl to have such a fabulous and strong mummy and 2 very very special guardian angels looking out for her

Whilst of course I cannot even begin to comphrehend what you have been through with Sophie and Luke I do understand about the planning a funeral in your head bit. I think it is something the brain does to try and protect you in a way (if that makes sense). I don't really want to say anymore on here but you are not the only person to have done this and it's not odd or strange in any way.

Having a baby in hospital is crap (to put it exceptionally mildly) but you will get through it like all of us on here have because you have no choice but to get through it. You are an amazingly strong woman, always remember that.

Try to allow yourself to believe that you will be bringing Katie home

I am sending lots of big hugs for you , a gentle hand stroke for Katie and floaty kisses for Sophie and Luke

 

[25weeker]

Lots and lots of

Katie sounds like she is doing extremely well. I understand the feeling they won't come home as I had twin girls and Rebecca my second twin only lived a day. I spent the whole time in the hospital never believing Holly would come home and the day she did was so surreal.

The Nicu journey is a rollercoaster and our wee preemies have many steps backwards and forwards. Try and take some timeout for yourself even half hour as you need your strength as well.

Keep us updated on katie's progress.

Take care xx

 

[katy1310]

Hello and huge congratulations on the birth of little Katie. I'm sure she will be just fine - she's definitely a little fighter and is doing amazingly.

Our little Sophie was born at 27 weeks exactly - your description of Katie's little cry when she was born brought back so many memories. Sophie breathed on her own for 30 minutes then got tired and was put on a ventilator for a day then onto CPAP.

It's a long, tough journey in neonatal, but you will get there. It does get easier, believe it or not - and sad though it is, it becomes a way of life - and in a way, a comfort zone. Any time DH and I have been back since getting Sophie home, we've said it's kind of comforting in a way to go back! I don't know why that is but that's how we feel.

Looking back, I don't know how we did it, but we did. Something got us through it. I keep thinking I could never do it again but I'm sure if we found ourselves back in that position again, we would do it, the same way we did it last time.

The thing that really helped us was focusing on the tiny little milestones that are so huge and important to parents of preemies - every little weight gain, every time the feeds were increased, being moved out of intensive care into high dependency and then eventually special care, the time we went in and she was in a heated cot and a little outfit for the first time, the first time you get to try a feed - I could go on! Do as much as you're allowed to do in the way of tube feeds and nappy changes, and then there's the all important cuddles as soon as you're allowed them!

We also found that we really needed time at home as well - we live 60 miles from the hospital and it was pretty exhausting travelling up there so often, especially recovering from a c section. I absolutely hated days away from her, and so many times we thought about going up at night when we'd had a day at home...but we really did need to keep just a little bit of normality and time to keep on top of day to day chores, laundry etc. We used to stay at home on a Sunday but we did have close friends who went to visit Sophie and they sent us a picture. I hated to think of her with no visitors

Your little Katie is going to do great - she is already doing so, so well and is clearly a little fighter. She has her big brother and sister looking out for her as well, I promise you that. We firmly believe that Sophie's granny, who passed away 9 months before Sophie was born, was definitely looking out for her the whole time she was in there.

Just wanted to say you are so strong and an amazing person.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Oh hun. She sounds like she is doing so well sweetie Thinking of you, keep us updated
xx

 

[_Vicky_]

big big big hugs - my Fynn was in NICU for nearly three weeks - not preemie but I remember the journey like it was yesterday.

We will be thinking of you and your lovely Katie xxxx

 

[nineena]

Hiya hun and congrats on birth of your strong lil fighter. Sounds like Katie is doing amazingly well, she's definitely VERY strong.

NICU is an unbelievably difficult time of ups and downs but as others have said it does somehow get easier and yes a way of life. She's doing so so well and you're a very very strong mummy too and you will get through this

hugs xxxx

 

[UKMummy]

I came on here the first time for 3 months (the last time I came on here I found out you were expecting for the third time) and yet again, you have massive news.

Firstly congratulations on the birth of Baby Katie.

I have my fingers all crossed for you both. She is doing so well and I am so positive that this will be a good outcome. Enjoy every precious moment with her and stay strong.

Take care and keep us posted.

 

[Mumof42009]

It's a massive journey 1 you will never forget but at the end you will have your special princess at home with you in your arms, you are an inspiration to us all hun and a very strong woman xx

 

[BlackBerry25]

Thinking of you and Katie, Donna You are a super mom! You and her can do this, together!

 

[Agiboma]

Congrats on your little one NICU is not easy by any means and the only thing youcan do is cope with it till you take your LO home and you will stay strong namma

 

[aob1013]

It is so hard leaving them. We used to say in SCBU for up to 16 hours a day, just so i could feel a little bit better about myself as a Mother. I used to only leave when he was asleep. If we got ready to go and he would wake up i couldn't leave him .. i wouldn't want him to watch us walk away

It does get so much easier, believe me. And the time flies! xxx

 

[mommy43]

it is a roller coaster some days will be better than others take each day as it comes n look after yourself stay strong ur lo needs her mummy

 

[keldac]

Welcome over to 'my' section lol!
Love you lots hun xxx

 

[cat81]

Congratulations on your baby girl. She sounds like a real little fighter and I'm sure she will be home with you soon. You have been through so much and I understand it must be hard to stay positive. You sound like such a strong woman. You're going to be an amazing mummy to little Katie.