.

[sweetlullaby]

.

 

[lou_w34]

What im planning on doing is going into labour and having Scarlett, then seeing how long the hospital plan on keeping me in for. If they are only keeping me in for the 6 hours, then i am going to tell him when i get home. If they are keeping me in for a day or two, then im going to call him while i am there, but i dont want him comming to the hospital. I want that time between me and Scarlett. I feel that i have been the one to carry her for 40 weeks and done everything i possibley can for her, that i deserve to have some time just me and the baby.

However i also no that he will not rush down anyways, he doesnt drive and he wont bother to get the train.

I know some people may not agree with me not telling him as soon as i go into labour, but he hasnt exactly made this pregnancy stress free for me, so i at least want to able to have the best labour that i possibley can, and that will only happen without him being there.

Hope that helps

 

[purpledahlia]

Im going to text him when im in labour, not early labour, once im at the hospital. And i doubt he will come up, then ill possibly call him with details of weight etc, or text and send a picture. Then turn my phone off untill im ready to arrange for him to come up. thats assuming she turns and isnt breech!

If its a c section, ill get all the details and dates, ill tell him when it is, where he can find a BnB and when he can stay till - basically he can visit during visiting hours but once i go home, then he should too. hes not coming to our house. and then in jan he can come up once were more settled etc, he can also bloody well provide something for her, or hes limiting himself. not having ot anymore, no more part time. he wants to seee her? he has to provide. cant have only the fun parts,

 

[xJG30]

We text Tom's dad and said I was in labour but not to come anywhere near us.. I had high bp and knew if he came up, it'd pretty much kill me.

Sent him another text when Tom was born and again he wouldn't come up so told them to come the following weekend and they gave us no choice. I kept out the way though

 

[woadie]

I don't intend to make any contact at all. I doubt he would be interested in any case. I don't know if that makes me lucky or not really, but ultimately its not about me, its about LO, and so far he/she's not had much luck with people.

 

[louise85]

I have no idea as of yet, I'm only 8 weeks so just gonna see how things plan out. Ideally I would like FOB to be there but if he shows no interest in the next few months or doesn't do anything for LO then I'm not so sure!!

 

[suzanne108]

Right I'll tell you what my plan is :

I'm not gonna tell him when I go into labour as I could be at home hours with contractions and I don't want him rearing his ugly head! I'm gonna text him when I'm on my way to the hospital, I've told him that he can be at the hospital but not in the room.

Also I've told him that he'll be a visitor, I don't want to see him straight away. So he'll be able to see me when I've moved to the ward and its time for visitors. And I've told him that he has to fit in with other people visiting!

I did try to put him off because I'd rather not see him til I'm a bit more settled but I don't feel like I can stop him to be honest!

I have told him that I want his family to wait until I'm home, nearer the time I will probably say I don't want them coming until I've been home a week or so. I don't exactly get on with his mum so there is no way I want her coming round the day after I've given birth!

 

[staycutee]

i'm not going to contact him at all. he hasnt bothered to respond to any other things iev told him like scans, due date and sex of the baby so the way i see it he has no right to know when his son is here

 

[imaginary8x]

I plan on not telling him. If he wants to know what is going on he can contact me now, I'm not running after him like I have been. :/ I always seem to get let down...

 

[woadie]

Too many of us have been let down... I'm sick of being mentally punished for it and refuse to be the victim. It's MY body, MY child, MY life, MY heart and MY decision.

Labour for one please

Phukem!

Imaginary, you must be due near me, my DD is 16/04.... heres the laugh, its FOBs birthday.... ha!

 

[Perdita]

I don't know what to do, FOB says he wants to be there and was thinking about it but he's said he'll be there for other things and then got a text saying he can't make it, I'd rather plan to be alone or find someone else to be there than take the chance of relying on him. Considered just telling him to stay away and I'll let him know when I'm home and he can come round then but would that sound bitchy? He's told everyone about the baby now and it's all over his facebook and people are leaving comments about him being a great dad and how happy they are for him - but with him it's like I don't exist and he's waiting for delivery of a new toy he can show off then put away till next time he wants to play daddy. Maybe I'm too tired and over-emotional to decide right now and should leave it till nearer the time though with only 6 weeks to go there's not much time left to decide!

 

[starbucks101]

I told Em's dad a few weeks after i had her via email, once we were home and settled and happy...

 

[lou_w34]

I told Em's dad a few weeks after i had her via email, once we were home and settled and happy...

Did he react well to that? Im not judging its just i was hoping to have time to myself with Scarlett, like you i want to get settled with her, i think id only need a week before i feel strong enough to see him. But i dont want him charging down making demands. I dont think he will anyways as he hasnt bothered so far... But did your lo's dad take it ok??

thankyous

 

[Ash_P]

Ok heres my plan.

My sister is my birthing partner, so she is going to ring ex when I go into labour. His mum (who I am still very close to) has suggested that he drive us to the hospital, as my sister doesnt drive, but I will deal with that decision nearer the time.
Ex knows that he is not getting into the room when Im in labour, but he can wait in the waiting room until LO comes along. He could be in for a long wait. To be honest I cant really see him sitting that long doing nothing, he gets bored to easily, but Il not give a shit il have more important things to worry about.

He can see LO when its born but he is not staying all the time it suits him. I will need my rest.

Under no circumstances are his fathers side of the family to come anywhere near the hospital, or even my house for that matter. They have disowned this child, stood by my ex, and more or less said its "ok to walk away from ur pregnant wife for someone else" They have said that LO is my baby and nothing to do with them, so they can go and f*ck themselves. They will only see LO if my ex takes it to them but thats it. My sister has been giving strict orders not to let them anywhere near me.

I think im being quite decent informing him, considering his lack of interest and concern during the pregnancy. My sister when she had her son, didnt let FOB know she was in labour, and rang him the next day from hospital and said, " i went into labour last nite, u have a son, hes called Jack, gotta go" they got back together about 4 months later and to this day he says its the biggest regret of his life. Serves them all rite.

 

[lou_w34]

Ok heres my plan.

My sister is my birthing partner, so she is going to ring ex when I go into labour. His mum (who I am still very close to) has suggested that he drive us to the hospital, as my sister doesnt drive, but I will deal with that decision nearer the time.
Ex knows that he is not getting into the room when Im in labour, but he can wait in the waiting room until LO comes along. He could be in for a long wait. To be honest I cant really see him sitting that long doing nothing, he gets bored to easily, but Il not give a shit il have more important things to worry about.

He can see LO when its born but he is not staying all the time it suits him. I will need my rest.

Under no circumstances are his fathers side of the family to come anywhere near the hospital, or even my house for that matter. They have disowned this child, stood by my ex, and more or less said its "ok to walk away from ur pregnant wife for someone else" They have said that LO is my baby and nothing to do with them, so they can go and f*ck themselves. They will only see LO if my ex takes it to them but thats it. My sister has been giving strict orders not to let them anywhere near me.

I think im being quite decent informing him, considering his lack of interest and concern during the pregnancy. My sister when she had her son, didnt let FOB know she was in labour, and rang him the next day from hospital and said, " i went into labour last nite, u have a son, hes called Jack, gotta go" they got back together about 4 months later and to this day he says its the biggest regret of his life. Serves them all rite.

I think your being very decent
Makes me feel like im making the wrong decision But your sister doing it aswell makes me feel a tad better

I dont no why i feel so bad about it? I mean he has done sod all for bubs, why does he deserve this more than i do? He hasent even spoke about the birth, he's just pretending its not happening half the time.

 

[starbucks101]

I told Em's dad a few weeks after i had her via email, once we were home and settled and happy...

Did he react well to that? Im not judging its just i was hoping to have time to myself with Scarlett, like you i want to get settled with her, i think id only need a week before i feel strong enough to see him. But i dont want him charging down making demands. I dont think he will anyways as he hasnt bothered so far... But did your lo's dad take it ok??

thankyous

Yer, he wasnt really bothered to be honest. but then he doesnt give a monkies anyway! I only told him for Em's sake in the future.

The email I got back was along the line of "oh thanks for letting me know, i was wondering..."

Short and blatently obvious he wasnt interested

 

[lou_w34]

Thats terrible of him!
At least your daughter has you!!

I have a feeling my fob will be the same, at least our babies have us

 

[sleepinbeauty]

You know what ladies? If they can't be bothered to show up for scans and everything, they don't deserve to be there. Attending a birth is a privilege for people who give a damn, not a right granted to the scum of the earth.

You guys are great and I know you will all do wonderfully in birth and motherhood.

 

[teal]

My situation is a bit different since my ex doesn't want anything to do with the baby. I don't have any real way to contact him other than an email but I was planning on doing that once I've had the baby and I'm settled.

 

[imaginary8x]

Too many of us have been let down... I'm sick of being mentally punished for it and refuse to be the victim. It's MY body, MY child, MY life, MY heart and MY decision.

Labour for one please

Phukem!

Imaginary, you must be due near me, my DD is 16/04.... heres the laugh, its FOBs birthday.... ha!

Yup, I'm due on the 13/04... you say that, the FOBs birthday for mine is on the 21/04