.

[woadie]

lol... okay... I'll race ya!!! Only three days in it

 

[sweetlullaby]

.

 

[lou_w34]

I dont want FOB near us for a week at least either... and even though i feel bitchy about it, i know its what i want, cant help how i feel heehee Then again, he wont come down straight away as he has no balls and is afraid of my parents lol

If they just told us what they wanted to begin with, instead of just buggering off, and swanning back in when they feel like it then we wouldnt feel so confused.

I think even though i have a (very small) feeling of guilt about not wanting him there, i know i will not be telling him until i have had her, for all the reasons you have said, i just dont want him turning up and making un-necessary demands while im in labour.

It may sound selfish, but for once im gunna think about myself, and not him, im gunna do what i want and thats it

 

[starbucks101]

Thats terrible of him!
At least your daughter has you!!

I have a feeling my fob will be the same, at least our babies have us

Definatly Lou. And to the rest of you I was 19 when I had my Toddler out of a rubbish relationship huge police case took up most of my pregnancy and I was a wreck, but you manage and everyday you get a little bit stronger.

To date, I have an amazing beautiful and very bright little girl, my own home, car and a well paid job I got myself out of most of my debt on benefits through budgeting well, I was living in a complete dive to start with no heating, single glazed windows horrible neighbours. I know have a goregous 3 bed rented house with a little garden in a great area, I open our front door and that park is 15 metres away.

I have a new partner who adores me and Em, who she calls Daddy and we have a baby of our own on the way.


Ive really struggled and fought to get here, called social services on myself begging them to take emily to someone who could look after her better, been on anti-dpressents, half heartedly tried to commit suicide and then realised that no1 would find my daughter for days so snapped out of it. I've been at real rock bottom.

And her "father" was never ever there, and i'm glad because I wouldnt be as strong and capable as I am now had he have been there and My daughter wouldnt be the incredable little girl she is today.

It does take time but you do come out fighting fit in the end, Its completley worth every bad day ive had when she gives me a kiss and goes into nursery!

My only fear now is how and when do we tell her that OH isnt her real father. But thats something me and OH are discussing at the moment.

Single mums are amazing, and you'll all do fabby dabby jobs with or without them being around!! xxx

 

[lou_w34]

You sound amazing, and so strong! Well done to you for getting yourself out of that

I live with my parents at the moment, but i no i cant stay here forever, and its my worst fear that im gunna be stuck on benefits, or a really shitty job and living in hell hole for the rest of my life.

But reading that has made me feel a lot better about it, even if i have to go back to college and retrain im sure it will all work out fine

 

[Welshcob]

Too many of us have been let down... I'm sick of being mentally punished for it and refuse to be the victim. It's MY body, MY child, MY life, MY heart and MY decision.

Labour for one please

Phukem!

Imaginary, you must be due near me, my DD is 16/04.... heres the laugh, its FOBs birthday.... ha!

Well said Woadie!! But you also made me laugh when you said LO is due on his birthday!!!! He won't forget his baby then will he???

 

[sweetlullaby]

.

 

[Welshcob]

Thats terrible of him!
At least your daughter has you!!

I have a feeling my fob will be the same, at least our babies have us

Definatly Lou. And to the rest of you I was 19 when I had my Toddler out of a rubbish relationship huge police case took up most of my pregnancy and I was a wreck, but you manage and everyday you get a little bit stronger.

To date, I have an amazing beautiful and very bright little girl, my own home, car and a well paid job I got myself out of most of my debt on benefits through budgeting well, I was living in a complete dive to start with no heating, single glazed windows horrible neighbours. I know have a goregous 3 bed rented house with a little garden in a great area, I open our front door and that park is 15 metres away.

I have a new partner who adores me and Em, who she calls Daddy and we have a baby of our own on the way.


Ive really struggled and fought to get here, called social services on myself begging them to take emily to someone who could look after her better, been on anti-dpressents, half heartedly tried to commit suicide and then realised that no1 would find my daughter for days so snapped out of it. I've been at real rock bottom.

And her "father" was never ever there, and i'm glad because I wouldnt be as strong and capable as I am now had he have been there and My daughter wouldnt be the incredable little girl she is today.

It does take time but you do come out fighting fit in the end, Its completley worth every bad day ive had when she gives me a kiss and goes into nursery!

My only fear now is how and when do we tell her that OH isnt her real father. But thats something me and OH are discussing at the moment.

Single mums are amazing, and you'll all do fabby dabby jobs with or without them being around!! xxx

What an awesome message!!! You are an inspiration!!!!

 

[Welshcob]

I have to say, I am glad that this question has come up as I am still stuck in this quandry of trying to be reasonable. As you know FOB stopped speaking to me pretty much as soon as we got pregnant. He then took me to court to advise that I may not contact him at all. Thereby, my logic would indicate that he wants nothing to do with baby or me. But I still sit here thinking....should I tell him that LO is on its way when its on its way? At the end of the day he can contact me if he wants to ask. But I think his aim was to threaten and intimidate me to such an extent that I go away and stay away. But I still sit here and wonder if I should at least tell him when in labour. Two reasons really. 1. Because I think he ought at least once think about this life he willingly created and has discarded like a piece of rubbish. 2. Should I not at least tell him?
Or is it enough just to say to contact me if he wants to know anything - he can after all!
Email or home phone.

 

[teal]

Welshcob - My situation with my ex isn't as threatening as yours was but I know the feeling about not being too sure what to do. I'm considering sending an email once I've had the baby because that is the last thing I can really do. Other times I think maybe I should just leave it and let him contact me.

xx

 

[sweetlullaby]

.

 

[teal]

Welshcob, hmmmm im thinking once your LO is here if he hasnt contacted you at all then if you have his email address send him an email saying that LO is born type thing and then you can honestly say you've done everything you can and your LO wont throw it in your face years down the line saying "you didnt even tell FOB i was born" or something like that.

And it throws the ball back into his courtyard as in you've informed him its up to him then to either reply, visit LO, or just ignore it or even send an email back saying thanks for telling me but i dont want to be involved type thing because then at least you'd know!

Sorry if it doesnt make much sense, im rubbish at explaining/ suggesting things lol (sounds good in my head but not when i've typed it!) xx

That was my reasoning for wanting to send an email because then I'll know it's the last thing I can do and if I still don't hear back from FOB then it's well and truly out of my hands.

xx

 

[DizzyMoo]

Defo not informing him or any of his family, He stopped speaking to me just before my 20wk scan & has never once asked how baby is, or i am if things are ok, do we need anything or does baby need anything etc. Never asked about scans but yet said baby was going to be a *******, & that it wasn't his. I kept in touch at 1st with him & his mum but neither were bothered so i stopped texting, they never bothered since. So don't see why i should volunteer info about baby if they dont even have the decency to ask me.
I kinda expecting some sort of contact from his mum nearer due date to ask but i dont think he will. they know im due end of nov but baby will be 10 days old by then & i know they'll bitch at me for not telling them but fuck em, why should i ? Might make them think in future.