23 weeks - anxiety about herpes/cold sores

[2have4kids]

We have a torn relationship with them now and because of their behavior we no longer trust them. I will also say that we didn't expect this type of behavior from them it totally came out of left field. So just be prepared for how people react. I hope that it goes over well for you and that your family has commons sense to respect your wishes regarding the safety of your child! Good luck!

My mother had a tantrum when I requested that all family members who may wish to babysit attend a first aid & CPR class with us (that we offered to pay for). She said she just won't be babysitting for us! When she found out that one of her good friends saved her grand daughters life by clearing a choke and that my sister happily signed up for it she agreed. She's the last person I'd trust in an emergency and the first to need training. Isn't it ironic that the people who need the boundaries the most are the ones who put up the most fuss?
We did find a local lifeguard who's taking kinesiology to treat and identify injuries to babysit for us as a back up. We interviewed her and her mother together, who actually volunteered to come & meet us. They have a big family with lots of little ones so it was really perfect. If we ever get scared that grandma isn't fit to care for LO or maybe 3 will be too much (we have twins otw) then there's options. Lots to consider about the ppl around us when you have kids!

 

[Hannah814]

I also get cold sores and know before any sore comes out that one is coming. I would be offended by this and feel like you were singling me out. However, perhaps when they visit the baby make a point of asking everyone to wash their hands and make a kissing comment then or say I don't mind if you steal a kiss but if you have a cold sore please don't. Remember I could scratch my cold sore and pass it via my hands to baby. Also if your going to send a text out then remind smokers they can't go near baby for 20 minutes after they have had a smoke. The list is endless so best try not to get hung up on it!

Btw I had a cold sore come up when in labour with my daughter. The midwife said to me to just be careful. I kissed my daughters head. My daughter doesn't get cold sores nor does my husband.

 

[2have4kids]

Hannah, I also get cold sores and would never be offended if someone asked not to kiss the baby on the lips in a group style invite. I agree that people can pass cold sores on via hands but by the OP mentioning it, it makes people think and that's entirely the point. People have the right to be offended over many many things, it's not up to OP to be sure not to offend anyone, it's her duty to protect her baby in a respectful way. My little sister is offended by SO many things, she comes off as entitled and spoiled. She used to romp off to her bedroom if we spoke about religion or politics that she disagreed with. After a while we'd shrug and let her go have her little fuss and tantrum, it's not for us to stop a whole conversation because she's 'offended'. It's for everyone to be respectful of each others opinions and most importantly have the right to freedom of speech. Obviously her reaction is pretty extreme and most don't behave this way, but there are definitely valuable lessons about not worrying so much about those who are offended.

 

[Kanichen34]

I can't remember kissing my newborn on the lips, once she learnt to give kisses we kiss on the lips but I don't think it's a natural reaction with a small baby. If nothing else their lips are gross lol - blistered and peeling from breastfeeding, invariably covered in drool/puke/milk! Most kisses would be on the head. And the other comment I would make is it that sometimes it's just a reflex. My friends little girl was upset and climbed on my lap for a cuddle, I snuggled her close and kissed the top of her head, it was only after I thought, ooh her mum might not want me kissing her... it was just a reflex, she needed some love and comfort and as someone that has known her since birth I gave it.

The other thing to consider is how you are going to handle germs generally. Short of a 'boy in the bubble' scenario you can't protect them all the time. There will be baby groups, sensory classes, siblings in nursery/school, the doctors waiting room, the supermarket.... I understand as with my first I used to glare daggers at the mum with the snotty nosed toddler at play group, now I wouldn't bat an eyelid. You'd never leave the house otherwise!

 

[Fruitmash]

Do people really kiss newborns on the lips? I wouldn't want anyone doing that, not out of fear of cold sores but it's just really weird to me lol. As long as you mention it respectfully,
any grievance they have is entirely their own, don't worry too much about it

 

[bettybee1]

Kissing newborns faces in generally with active colds ores can cause the infection in newborns x