3 days old & I'm struggling with nights

[JemimaP]

Hi everyone
My DD2 was born on Tuesday evening (17th) and we have EBF since. I EBF DD1 for 10 months so I knew (or thought I did) how hard the first days/weeks can be. I was prepared for feeding every hour & a half for an hour and soreness etc etc.
What's causing the problem at the
moment is that once she's fed and asleep I put her in her basket and she wakes up almost immediately and won't settle until she's fed again this continues the entire night Consequently I have had an hours sleep at most per night since Tuesday (none on Tuesday
at all).
I don't believe it's because she's hungry (not every time) as the hour I get is when I'm so tired I let her sleep on her feeding pillow and I doze sitting up bed. I know this isn't very safe.
What's so frustrating is that during the day she will feed then nap happily in her basket!!

What do I do? DD1 fed a lot in those first weeks and I'm happy to do the same with DD2 just can't cope with no sleep (even 20
minutes would be nice£ between feeds.
I've tried putting her straight in her
basket & I've also tried waiting until she's in a really deep sleep - either way she wakes straight up!
Any ideas ladies???
Thanks xx

 

[summer rain]

Have you tried feeding lying down/co-sleeping? It is very safe if done properly and will enable you to get some sleep! xx

 

[JemimaP]

I have and would happily co-sleep all night, my OH however is very against it

 

[summer rain]

Thats a shame as it is definitely safer than you dozing sitting up while your baby sleeps on the feeding pillow. Have you tried putting a hot water bottle in the basket for a few minutes then removing it before you put baby in (making sure the surface of the bedding isn't too warm)? xx

 

[JemimaP]

No, I haven't tried that, will get one tomorrow & give it a go. I had wondered if the move to the cooler sheet of her basket maybe rousing her.
Thankyou for taking the time reply x

 

[JackiePed]

What about a pacifier? Unless my LO is knocked out cold, he tends to want a pacifier when I move him to his bed. It's comfort sucking, and when he falls asleep, he lets it fall out of his mouth.

 

[SillyMoo]

This is a bit silly but at late feeds we take the Moses basket mattress out and sit/lie on it in bed while she feeds and just before we put her down put it back in. It's then warm and smells familiar.

Could you feed lieing down, then your OH may not realise you're effectively co-sleeping and it'd be safer than you asleep sitting up?

Good luck cx

 

[Bats11]

My dd2 wasnt a good sleeper for her 1st 4 months of life, i used to rock her often & found that helped cause when she'd stir 5-10min after putting her down, a rocking motion would put her back to sleep.

 

[aley28]

My LO almost always wakes up in the transfer to his bassinet. I just give him his pacifier and stand next to him, holding his pacifier in and with one hand set gently on his chest. He usually falls back to sleep in about 10 minutes or so. The pacifier falls out as soon as I let go... if he doesn't start fussing once it comes out, I know I'm good to go lay down.

Are you swaddling?

 

[RaspberryK]

This is a bit silly but at late feeds we take the Moses basket mattress out and sit/lie on it in bed while she feeds and just before we put her down put it back in. It's then warm and smells familiar.

Could you feed lieing down, then your OH may not realise you're effectively co-sleeping and it'd be safer than you asleep sitting up?

Good luck cx

Not silly at all this is what I did and it will be easier, my lo was like this til my milk came in on day 6 and he now sleeps 9-11 hours without a feed most nights.
X

 

[lisaf]

sitting on the mattress is an excellent idea! You can also try laying a dirty shirt of yours on top of the mattress under your baby so your smell is there.
Swaddling should also help if you don't do that already.

 

[Maggs]

You say your husband doesn't want you co-sleeping, but does he help you settle her back down at night? My husband used to sleep through everything and when he was away for a week working, that's when I ended up co-sleeping because I couldn't get any sleep any other way. With all due respect to your husband, if he's not getting up to help you...you have to get some sleep! Do you have a spare room you could go into? Or even a mattress to lay on the floor until she gets a bit more settled.

 

[helenas81]

Reading your post is like explaining my situation. My daughter was to born on Tuesday, and is doing exactly the same. Its good to know someone else is in my shoes and I'm not a failure as a mummy xx

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Remember at night is when your milk producing hormones peak, so that's why they are feeding at night. It doesn't last forever though!

Honestly, if your DH isn't helping at night, banish him to the couch. It's important that you sleep as well! Is he taking LO during the day for you to get rest?

 

[beanfluff]

Has your milk fully come in yet? my dd did the same until my milk came in and went to 3 hour feeds after that. As the others say, unless your hubby is getting up and trying to settle her after each feed I would insist on co sleeping. Your baby probably just wants to be near you, to smell you and have your body heat and hear your breathing.
My bubba always settles well in bed with us even if she has been niggling all night but stick her in her moses basket and she is back up within 20 mins.
All well and good but the only thing that settles her like your baby is a feed and thats not good on the boobs after a full night of it.
xx

 

[hippylittlej]

I would suggest putting a blanket between you and the baby so that it gets your smell, is warm and so baby doesn't miss the skin to skin when you put her down. However if your LO is feeding constantly to help build up your supply you may have to feed lying down to get some sleep. I was lucky that my lo fed constantly from about 2pm till 11pm in the first few weeks but did go down at night for a few hours. I would have definitely put her in bed with me if she was doing it all night. I hope things improve very soon for you.

 

[hollyrose]

my ds was born on 16th jan and i am ebf. i use a dummy when he won't settle but i know he's not hungry and then take it out when he's asleep. a tip i got from a midwife in hospital is to take one of his scratch mitts and put it my bra in the side that i'm not feeding from so some breast milk goes on it then put it back on baby and it comforts him.

 

[Shiv]

My daughter was EXACTLY like this! She would nap in her basket downstairs during the day but refused to sleep in it at night so this is what we did

1) We put the moses basket directly on the floor not on the stand as this is how it was downstairs (I guess it was a bit firmer on the floor than on the stand?)

2) After a feed once she was in a heavy sleep I would transfer her to lying on the bed next to me for 15 minutes until I knew she was defo properly asleep. Then i would transfer her to her basket.

3) We made sure she was wrapped up in the blankets she would sleep in so that we didn't need to disturb her once she was in the basket.

It took a few nights but gradually I reduced the time she slept on the bed (by the way I wasn't asleep during this time, just watching the clock ) until I sarted to put her straight in the basket. She would then sleep for 5 or so hours straight.

I am not sure exactly what did the trick, I think the basket being on the floor helped most. Good luckm it will get better.

In the days before we figured out what to do me and DH used to take it in shifts to hold her while she slept. I'd feed her and then cuddle her for first 4 hours of the night then I would feed her and hand her over to DH to cuddle to sleep so at least we both got a little bit. I always found that DH was much better at transferring her in to the basket without disturbing her as well.

 

[JemimaP]

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone! It's been a blur since my post - although the replies kept me going.
I spoke to OH & he agreed that the most important thing is to get BF established & for me to get some sleep. So we co slept most of the following 2 nights and then started swaddling too which has helped loads!!
She only lost 1.5oz when midwife weighed her so something is going right!!
Hopefully the time spent in her basket will increase as she gets older.
I have another worry now as she's only had 2 very very quick feeds since midnight last night and isn't attempting to try and eat at all she's kist sleeping.
X

 

[RaspberryK]

That happened to us too at about the same age, all of a sudden I had so much milk LO was literally knocked out by the amount He then had a massive growth spurt after that. Just keep offering your breast whenever... but i don't believe in waking sleeping babies unless there is a medical reason to do so. I would enjoy the rest and maybe get Grandma/OH to look after LO while you have a bath or a sleep. 1.5oz loss is hardly anything, well done!
x