3 week old sleeping on my chest

[MrsPear]

My son is 22 days old. So far he has only slept on my chest at night. I feel really depressed because everything I read says how dangerous it is but I can't put him down. Does anyone have any suggestions? I feel like I'm failing him putting him at risk like this.

 

[ButterCup17]

My son slept on cheat for what felt like forever, I'd say it's fine. I just tried to lay him in his crib each time but if he kept crying I'd put him back on chest, so at least I was trying. He would eventually sleep longer and longer in his crib and less on me

 

[MrsPear]

My son slept on cheat for what felt like forever, I'd say it's fine. I just tried to lay him in his crib each time but if he kept crying I'd put him back on chest, so at least I was trying. He would eventually sleep longer and longer in his crib and less on me

Thank you for your reply. Did you sleep when he was there? I feel so sad like a rubbish mum. I know it's nice to have him close but I don't want to bring him to harm. xx

 

[vegazbaby]

i regularly found myself waking up with him there, and felt soo bad about it. but we decided that we would run with it and make it safe. so i looked up the rules around co sleeping, its funny you do have an instinct when you are asleep.
if your not happy dont do it, maybe try to elivate the cot a bit to see if that helps, mine only ever slept upright on my chest, he had reflux

 

[Cangaroo]

We had the same first time around and embraced co-sleeping. This time, we co-slept from birth. It's wonderful when you plan to do it and are confident you're doing it safely. I lie on my side with DD2 between me ant the side-car cot. We keep pillows and duvets well away. She sleeps amazingly! We slept with DD1 on my chest at first, and it always made me feel anxious as it felt unsafe. Working out how to do it safely made a huge difference.

By the way, DD1 moved out of our bed into her own room completely voluntarily at just over 3. Not for everyone, but it's been fantastic for us!

 

[MrsPear]

We had the same first time around and embraced co-sleeping. This time, we co-slept from birth. It's wonderful when you plan to do it and are confident you're doing it safely. I lie on my side with DD2 between me ant the side-car cot. We keep pillows and duvets well away. She sleeps amazingly! We slept with DD1 on my chest at first, and it always made me feel anxious as it felt unsafe. Working out how to do it safely made a huge difference.

By the way, DD1 moved out of our bed into her own room completely voluntarily at just over 3. Not for everyone, but it's been fantastic for us!

So how do you get her off your chest and next to you? I would be a lot happier doing that. tbh I'd rather not bed-share long term because I'm a really poor sleeper and it keeps me awake (I did it for a few months with DD). But yeah, if I could get him to sleep next to me I'd feel a whole lot better right now x

 

[modified]

If your baby really will not sleep anywhere else, you have to do what you have to do!

In the hospital after birth, my daughter was having a rough night. She fell asleep on my chest and then I fell asleep. I woke up in the early hours with her rolling off me. It would have been over a 3ft drop to a hard tiled floor if I hadn't, thankfully, raised the sides of the bed before I fell asleep. So instead of guaranteed losing her, she had a red mark on her arm where she hit the metal guards and I still beat myself up about it now!

Just be careful about where you both are when you're asleep and know that it won't last forever!

 

[MrsPear]

If your baby really will not sleep anywhere else, you have to do what you have to do!

In the hospital after birth, my daughter was having a rough night. She fell asleep on my chest and then I fell asleep. I woke up in the early hours with her rolling off me. It would have been over a 3ft drop to a hard tiled floor if I hadn't, thankfully, raised the sides of the bed before I fell asleep. So instead of guaranteed losing her, she had a red mark on her arm where she hit the metal guards and I still beat myself up about it now!

Just be careful about where you both are when you're asleep and know that it won't last forever!

So scary! Glad she was okay. OH is on the sofa and I have put my pillows in the middle of the bed so he would just fall on the mattress. The duvet is way down the bed. xx

 

[kanga]

Par for the course. Just enjoy , if you can. It will get to the stage where you can put him down more and more. X

 

[Cangaroo]

DD2 sleeps really well lying beside me with my arm around her. She's close enough this way she doesn't need to be on my chest, and my arm props her up slightly. This position worked for DD1 as well, when we discovered it!

 

[ButterCup17]

Yup, I slept when he was on me...very uncomfortable but yes lol. there were times I was rocking him to sleep in the chair jn his room and feel asleep there too. Many stiff necks and sore arms but at least it was sleep! Lol

 

[ourturnnext]

My DD2 was like this until about four weeks. I was too tired to enjoy it, I'm not ashamed to admit that now! Swaddling and then sleeping bag when she was heavy enough helped us massively. Now, at ten weeks, she loves the.moses basket and (whispers tentatively) has slept through 7-7 the last three nights. It's been a hard slog to get here xx

 

[MommyJogger]

We did this for a while in the beginning. I made it more about minimizing risk (never where he could fall far or hit something hard if he fell, I never wore clothing that could get in his face and affect air flow, always in a place where if he slid or rolled down, he would still be in a low-risk environment) and sometimes that's really all you can do. Over the course of a week, I was able to lay flat and move him to being on his back in the crook of my arm and then on his back next to me in bed. But I never moved him farther than that because we prefer bed sharing.

 

[twobecome3]

My son is 22 days old. So far he has only slept on my chest at night. I feel really depressed because everything I read says how dangerous it is but I can't put him down. Does anyone have any suggestions? I feel like I'm failing him putting him at risk like this.

are you breast feeding? mine just fell asleep on the boob laying beside me. if bottle feeding, could you maybe feed him laid beside you on the bed maybe he would fall asleep that way?

 

[newbie1992]

My daughter would only sleep on my chest or on her front, neither of which I loved. But i tried to take the risk as carefully as possible so i did let her sleep on ehr front for a few weeks, although her face was always to the side and facing me so i knew she was ok. now she is 13 weeks today and she hates even being put on her front and sleeps in her crib, swaddled for the entire night so it can all change, its about gradual introduction i think, its natural for them to love being with their mummy but soon they will get used to it. My little one doesnt like all the space, she then jumps, touches her face and bang shes awake and crying and this happened all the time, except now being swaddled she loves it, soon every few nights i will try her without the swaddle to try to get her out of it so she starts getting ready for when she grows out of it and only has a gro bag

 

[MrsPear]

Thanks everyone. Yes I guess I do kind of like it, if I wasn't so scared of him coming to harm I'd love it! I try to minimise the risk by sleeping in the middle of the bed and I have a dressing gown on instead of the duvet. yes I am breastfeeding, I wish I could master it lying down but I can't...I never could with my daughter either. So I'll just keep trying to transition him but try to enjoy these snuggles, thank you everyone. X

 

[MindUtopia]

It's perfectly safe for him to sleep on your chest. It's only unsafe when you're sleeping as well in that position. What I think you're experiencing though is completely and totally normal and that's exactly where he should be most comfortable and happy. The key is just finding a way to make it work until he's ready to sleep a bit more independently (for us, this was around 6 weeks, we still bedshared, as we'd always planned to, but our daughter didn't have to be held to sleep anymore). My husband and I did it in shifts. After her last feed at 7pm or so, I got a shower and went to bed. He'd put her in a wrap and stay up watching tv with her (awake) until somewhere around 11pm-1am, depending on her next feed, or sometimes he'd bring her up for a feed and then still stay up holding her for awhile longer so I could get some sleep. Then we'd switch and I'd be awake with her until the morning. Not to say that there weren't times when I drifted off to sleep like that (usually during a feed, so she was awake anyway!), but generally it worked really well and we'll do the same next time if baby doesn't want to sleep next to me right away. It does take having a partner who is a full participant in nighttime parenting, but it still means you each get at least 5 ish hours of sleep, which is enough to manage on and beats only one of you getting like no sleep. But going to bed early when baby can be with daddy in the evening is key. You might also try slowly moving towards bedsharing/co-sleeping (done safely in a safe sleeping space) as it's safer and means you can sleep too, but in the short term, just doing it in shifts might work for you. It doesn't last forever and you'll be amazed how much easier it gets in a few weeks.

 

[Evana]

My dd slept on my chest from the day she was born to around 3 to 3 and a half month ...then on her own one day did not want to and would throw a fuss to be put down ...she is 17 months now and Co sleeping and I would not have it any other way ...I say enjoy till it last they grow real quick ...is you are very worried you could get those bed guards..

 

[SoupDragon]

DD comes in with us about halfway through the night...after her feed she sleeps on my chest, then I turn onto my side still holding her, so she's cuddled into the crook of my arm. She goes on either side - either between me and DH or between me and the co-sleeping crib. I prefer to have her next to the crib, as then I don't have a big gap of duvet making me cold! I make sure the duvet only comes up to just above my waist, and she is in a grobag on top of the covers anyway. Because her head is on my arm, she's not near the pillows, and I can see her face and feel her breathing. She sleeps amazingly well like this, and I am learning to sleep a bit better now, though I was afraid to fall asleep like that at first.

I'm going to try and gradually get her more used to falling back asleep by herself in the night, if she doesn't start sleeping through soon. She's perfectly capable of getting herself to sleep at the start of the night, so she should be able to do it in the early hours too!

Like pps have said, you do what you have to, and as long as you make sure the sleeping environment is safe, it will be ok.

 

[Cangaroo]

DD comes in with us about halfway through the night...after her feed she sleeps on my chest, then I turn onto my side still holding her, so she's cuddled into the crook of my arm. She goes on either side - either between me and DH or between me and the co-sleeping crib. I prefer to have her next to the crib, as then I don't have a big gap of duvet making me cold! I make sure the duvet only comes up to just above my waist, and she is in a grobag on top of the covers anyway. Because her head is on my arm, she's not near the pillows, and I can see her face and feel her breathing. She sleeps amazingly well like this, and I am learning to sleep a bit better now, though I was afraid to fall asleep like that at first.

This is exactly what we did last time around. However, it's not considered safe to have the baby sleep in between two sleeping adults. The safest place for a co-sleeping baby is between mum and the edge of the bed (which should have some sort if bed rail). I used to roll DD1 from one side to the other without either of us waking. I'm therefore being careful t keep DD2 on my side so I don't get in the habit of rolling her. I want her in the safest possible position, particularly as DD1 occasionally comes into our bed in the early hours. DD1 always sleeps in the middle, so I need to keep DD2 away.