Kathleen1198
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- May 3, 2015
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Hello. New to this site. I am 35, just had my first pregnancy and miscarriage. The pregnancy was a surprise and dad wasn't in the picture. I was fine with that. I was thrilled beyond belief at the thought of being a mother. Sadly, at my 10 week ultrasound the baby was found to have no heart beat and a D&C followed a week later. It has been three weeks since. I am struggling so badly. Another pregnancy is unlikely at best. The doctor is pushing me to not even try again. I feel like I not only lost the baby, but a future....like the rest of my life changed and then changed again and I can't seem to make peace with it.
I know it will take a while, but damn. The pain is unbearable at times. I've cried every day since. Add in a move and job loss and most days I'm amazed I make it through. I just want that baby back SO badly. What I wouldn't give...
Now I just find myself to be so grumpy and irritable and my moods change at the drop of a hat. New babies and pregnant women make me cry and get angry. Even the sound of a baby on TV will take me back to a sad place.
My friends and family, while supportive, I think are tired of hearing about it. I think they all think I should be over it by now. But it doesn't hurt any less than it did that first day.
I can't seem to get past the memory of walking into that ultrasound with so much hope, so much joy...Then 15 minutes later the dreams and hopes and future were gone. Poof just like that, it all changed. I miss my baby and am so sad I will never meet him or her. It's so hard to say goodbye to someone you never got to meet.
Can someone out there please say something to give me some hope?
I know it will take a while, but damn. The pain is unbearable at times. I've cried every day since. Add in a move and job loss and most days I'm amazed I make it through. I just want that baby back SO badly. What I wouldn't give...
Now I just find myself to be so grumpy and irritable and my moods change at the drop of a hat. New babies and pregnant women make me cry and get angry. Even the sound of a baby on TV will take me back to a sad place.
My friends and family, while supportive, I think are tired of hearing about it. I think they all think I should be over it by now. But it doesn't hurt any less than it did that first day.
I can't seem to get past the memory of walking into that ultrasound with so much hope, so much joy...Then 15 minutes later the dreams and hopes and future were gone. Poof just like that, it all changed. I miss my baby and am so sad I will never meet him or her. It's so hard to say goodbye to someone you never got to meet.
Can someone out there please say something to give me some hope?