32 and TTC #1.. feeling like a failure..

[kasigirl]

Yep... it's crazy! I'm not greedy! I will just take one too! Both of my sisters kids were unplanned. She is a great mom but was in a tough place with both of them.... so frustrating!

 

[bexxc]

absolutely. all of us that were so responsible for so many years end up getting the shaft when it's supposed to be our turn! look how sour grapes i am!

 

[StranjeGirl]

Hi Everyone-
I am so on board with all of you!!! dh and I are 36 and ttc #1. I thought it would be easy as all of my friends got pg right away, even at my age! After a couple months of ttc I found out I had cervical dysplasia and had to get a leep. We couldn't try for that month but resumed the following (in feb) Now I bleed when we bd and I have been spotting for 2 weeks now since right before O! I am also spotting before af ever since the procedure and I am worried about it affecting getting pregnant. This is our 5th cycle and I go to the doctor next week to see about the spotting and will ask for fertility testing. I know it seems a bit early, but I figure we can at least start with blood tests. I temp and use opks and fertility monitor so I know I am bding at the right time every month. Plus dh got checked out and has great sperm, so I figure it won't hurt to start testing me. I keep reminding myself that most fertility problems are treatable!! So hang in there ladies! Our month is coming!!!

 

[dizzyshell]

hi girls im alittle younger than most ofyou but same story again im 28 just turned.
when i was 23 i got bfp with o/h in 4weeks , i thoughtid wait as i wasnt ready i sadly lost babyanyway.always thought id get preg just as quick now 17months laternothing
my lily pies are wrong btw cant change them wont let me .But i thought at 23 i wanted wait till late 20's early 30's so i started ttc dec2009 and had no bfps no m/c nothing .

I feel like i missed the boat now and so upsetting.ive had bloods and ultra sound everything fine and got lap/dye may3rd .

everyone preg , my bro in-laws had 2 in that time and feel like failure .

This forum has helped thoe id be going to the funny farm it wasnt for youguys xxx

 

[riggins1017]

Hi everyone,
I'm 32, husband is 32.. We're both fairly healthy, non smokers, only social drinkers and there are no issues of fertility problems in our respective families.
We started trying 8 months ago and its been a complete dissappointment every month. I just thought this process would be so easy considering how easy it seems for all those around me. We wanted to wait to have kids until we were established in our careers, had a good home and income. Now that we have those things I sometimes wonder if we did ourselves a disservice by waiting so long.
and I'm getting so hung up on this darned age thing. Originally I though "oh I'll get pregnant at 31, have the baby by the time I'm 32, get pregnant again at 34 and have that baby at 35 and poof.. I'm done".. Now here I am, pushing those dates ahead by a year and afraid that I may have to go even further if nothing happens soon.

I've been feeling pretty alone in this process because my best friend got pregnant on her first month of trying, one of my coworkers got pregnant in 3 and most of my other friends got pregnant by 5 months... I just assumed I would fall into those categories and I'm not. Now, here I am.. 8 days post ovulation and I'm charting my tempatures and it looks like my temp is creeping back down towards my pre ovulation temps so I'm assuming I'm not pregnant because supposedly if you acheieve pregnancy your temps will remain high..

Anyway, sorry for the long and sort of depressing post. I just feel like I could break down into tears sometimes because I really feel like I could be a good mom but I'm starting to feel like I'm just always going to be the good Aunt instead.

Dont' get discouraged I am 26 and have been trying to conceive for 4 months now granted its not as long as you but I feel the exact same way. i do have a friend who is now pregnant and is also 32 but it took her 9 months to conceive so keep your head up and try not to stress over it and it will happen for you. Good luck hun and just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Baby Dust!!!

 

[Ramie]

I'm with you ladies - 31 and moving onto month 10 now. Feel devastated every month and feel even worse now as I'm approaching the dreaded 1 year. Never thought it would be this hard

 

[claudia_ann]

It helps to read about other women going though the same thing. We get so egocentric about ourselves that we forgot lots of people have, are and will go through the same thing. And most of them I'm sure did or will end up with a baby.
I have been feeling like a failure but I'm trying to look at the good in my life and keep positive. My niece is coming for a sleepover this weekend so she's super excited. The husband and I are going on a road trip holiday in 2 weeks so we're excited about getting away and just having fun again. And spring is finally here and there is just this sense of starting fresh in the air. I'm hoping the feeling is catching and it brings a wave of babydust my way.. LOL..
I guess I'm just not willing to sit back and accept the failure hat I've laid upon myself because I'm not out yet. I look in the BFP announcement section all the time and there are ladies ALWAYS posting their BFPs after long periods of trying. So its not over till someone says it over..

Wishing us all lots of babydust.

 

[Crailly]

I am just tired of having all of these women around me get pregnant when they are not trying at all. We have two close friends that are pregnant, one with boy/girl twins due in Sept and another just found out she is due Dec 23.

The one with twins had only been dating her boyfriend for 3 months (but they had been friends for almost a year before they started dating), and the other one is a 27 year old single mom of two school age kids who fooled around one night with this 20 year old friend of hers.

Sigh.

 

[msfd]

God your post sounds like me!!! I am going through the exact same thing and have had no where to turn. My husband and i have been ttc for 9 months now and nothing. Every month i feel more and more like a failure, and every month that we try i feel like i am setting myself up for disappointment. I used the clear blue easy fertility monitor this month and had high hopes but af came today! I dont even think i can cry anymore.... My husband and i have been pregnant before but we were very young and and i terminated 3x, its very hard for me to admit this. All i can think is i had my chance and blew it. i have no one to talk to bc 1. no one wants to listen and 2. all my friends had no problem getting pregnant so they cant relate. Im always getting the "stop stressing" comments, it makes me want to scream. Reading your threads have already comforted me, it helps to meet and talk and confide in people that are in the same situation. Im hoping talking about this with others will relieve some of the depression imm starting to feel.

 

[claudia_ann]

I hear you msfd!!! Well you won't hear any "stop stressing" comments from me because it makes me want to cry/scream too when I hear it.
Don't beat yourself up for past decisions. You did what was right for you and your husband at the time. I try not to regret waiting so long because if I had had children years ago, my life might not be what it is today. And I love my life.. Just wish I had this other chapter started now. So as much as you will think about the past, all we can do is look forward and hope that our BFPs will happen for us.
I think this forum is great and has made me feel a lot better since joining. Seeing other posts from other women really helps. And I do believe in the power of positive energy and all us women trying to lift each other up has to put some good babydust in the air right??
Keep your head up and feel free to let out as many frustrations as you like. Big hug to you!!

 

[Mabythistime]

WOW - when did all you ladies steal my feelings?? I feel the same...very unhappy at the moment....turnign 35 in 2 days time, and I always said I wanted 1 baby by 32? Long overdue. Now I also blame myself for wanting to wait until we have a house, good income and all that. And more so...why did I ever use those BC - silly me! Yes, and noted how everyone else around one falls pregnant so quickly...every magazine you open has a baby on the page.

Never give up...and if you sad...cry, eat, talk...but dont go at it alone. Find someone to talk to.

A huge to all you ladies. I like this group...hope we can keep this one going and read some good results later on. I for one will let you know if turning 35 has any luck for me.

 

[bexxc]

happy birthday, maby! i turn 32 tomorrow. you know what i got for my birthday? af! happy birthday to me maybe this year will be a good one for both of us. my parents took me out to lunch yesterday and my fortune cookie said, "a new relationship will be developing soon. you will be blessed." hope it's right! gl to you!

 

[wonderstars]

Since I've come on to the boards it's been amazing to see how many women are in the same place. I have also been trying for 8 months with no luck. In that period of time, if I've counted correctly, 9 people I know have become pregnant. Yep. Good times.

You have all summarized my feelings so well. I always thought it would be quick. Then I got to January and surmised that it was taking me 6 months to adjust to coming off BCP and I really was only beginning to try. Blah. The nice thing is the gynecologist sent me for an U/S and I had CD21 progesterone levels done in January. Next step is for DH to get an SA and for me to get a complete blood workup.

I think the one thing I've learned reading everyone's posts is that as women TTC'ing have to be proactive and start getting some answers earlier rather than later.

Hugs to everyone.

 

[msfd]

Thank you sooooo much claudia_ann, I hope some of your positivity rubs off on me!!I keep trying to look at it as trying nine times rather than nine months, sounds easier to accept. Right now the hardest thing for me is my brother and his wife just announced they are Expecting! Kills me bc I want it to be my turn so bad! I thought this would be a lot easier and all I keep thinking is why, why isn't this happening for me?I'm doing everything I'm supposed to,using the monitor taking vitamins etc. Thanks for your kind words

 

[claudia_ann]

Ladies, I'm not sure if many of you still remember this thread but it really helped me when I was feeling at my lowest.
I thought I would share my news because it shows there is hope... I'm on vacation right now which is nice to get away from everything and the stress.. (But i did bring a First Response test with me).. and at 9 DPO.. I GOT MY POSITIVE!! I mean, I just couldn't believe it because I've been getting so used to the negative results. I know I should be posting this in the BFP section but I felt like i wanted to share this with you all more.
It was so reassuring to know and hear about other woman that have went through the same thing as me. And it gives me hope that we all can get our BFP. Doesn't mean we won't still stress about it, because I hated it when people told me to relax and it would happen. I know its good advice but its so hard to follow. And frankly, this bean was conceived when I was super stressed so it can still happen. I still haven't fully absorbed the news and frankly, I didn't have any signs either so it almost doesn't seem real yet.
Anyway, just wanted to say thanks to you all and I really hope more of us get our BFPs soon.

 

[PugLuvAh]

I am 32 and DH is 34, I keep telling myself that we're not that old yet!

After 10 months of trying for #1 we got our bfp at the end of April, only to miscarry in the beginning of May. Devastating after trying for so long, but the silver lining is that now I know I can get pregnant. We are going to start trying again this month if my cycle cooperates.

I am jumping back onto the positivity bandwagon since that was working well for me before. Baby dust to all of us, 2011 will be our year!

 

[kasigirl]

Ladies, I'm not sure if many of you still remember this thread but it really helped me when I was feeling at my lowest.
I thought I would share my news because it shows there is hope... I'm on vacation right now which is nice to get away from everything and the stress.. (But i did bring a First Response test with me).. and at 9 DPO.. I GOT MY POSITIVE!! I mean, I just couldn't believe it because I've been getting so used to the negative results. I know I should be posting this in the BFP section but I felt like i wanted to share this with you all more.
It was so reassuring to know and hear about other woman ghat have went through the same thing as me. And it gives me hope that we all can get our BFP. Doesn't mean we won't still stress about it, because I hated it when people told me to relax and it would happen. I know its good advice but its so hard to follow. And frankly, this bean was conceived when I was super stressed so it can still happen. I still haven't fully absorbed the news and frankly, I didn't have any signs either so it almost doesn't seem real yet.
Anyway, just wanted to say thanks to you all and I really hope more of us get our BFPs soon.

congratulations!

 

[Conina]

Ladies, I'm not sure if many of you still remember this thread but it really helped me when I was feeling at my lowest.
I thought I would share my news because it shows there is hope... I'm on vacation right now which is nice to get away from everything and the stress.. (But i did bring a First Response test with me).. and at 9 DPO.. I GOT MY POSITIVE!! I mean, I just couldn't believe it because I've been getting so used to the negative results. I know I should be posting this in the BFP section but I felt like i wanted to share this with you all more.
It was so reassuring to know and hear about other woman that have went through the same thing as me. And it gives me hope that we all can get our BFP. Doesn't mean we won't still stress about it, because I hated it when people told me to relax and it would happen. I know its good advice but its so hard to follow. And frankly, this bean was conceived when I was super stressed so it can still happen. I still haven't fully absorbed the news and frankly, I didn't have any signs either so it almost doesn't seem real yet.
Anyway, just wanted to say thanks to you all and I really hope more of us get our BFPs soon.

Congrats!! H&H 9 months!!

 

[loopy013]

Hi Claudia_ann thanks for posting and giving us hope! Hope you don't mind me asking but how long were you TTC in total? We're onto our 9th month now and sometimes I can imagine ever getting a BFP! I really hope we do soon, I totally understand about what u said on your orignal post and pushing the dates backwards.

I'll be turning 30 before the year is out and was really hoping to have had a baby by then, even though that won't happen now I still hope I'll get a BFP before then. I have a stressful job (horrible boss) so I have been thinking that this might not be helping our situation either. I'm trying to chill out this month but its nice to know it can still happen even if you are stressed!

Enjoy ur holiday and wishing u a H&H 9 months xxx

 

[emz1200]

Hi Ladies, really do feel for you all & hope everyone gets a BFP soon. I'm 29 & my DH is 39, we're only on cycle 4 & im the grand scheme of things i know it's not very long at all but all of my family seem to be able to just sneeze & they're pregnant. It also doesn't help that most of the women i work with are either pregnant or just had their babies. But we must keep positive & keep fingers & toes crossed cos you just never know.