32 ttc for 10 months now - anyone in the same boat?

[whiskey]

Hi Ladies,

I'm 32 years old, and like everyone else I thought my DH would just have to look at me and I'd be pregnant and now 10 months down the line - nothing is happening!!!!

We haven't told anyone which I'm glad about because I really don't want sympathetic looks and people asking how it's going but I'd love to buddy up with someone whose going through the same thing...

My doctors says I've got very mild PCOS and hasn;t given me anything for it. We've had all the tests - bloodwork, HSG and sperm test (DH's swimmer a little bit slow but again my doc says nothing to be worried about...)I have tried everything!!!!! Vitamins, Pre-seed, Softcups, The Baking Soda douche and nothing seems to be working. I'm 10DPO today and I weakened and took a test - obviously a BFN

I feel like such a failure and that it's never going to happen for me. I'm fed up with the whole thing. Please tell me I'm not alone??

Does anyone else out there feel frustrated with the whole process? My life is now broken down into two week sections, I feel guilty if I have a glass of wine and I spend every minute sypmtom spotting!!

 

[NewToAllThis]

Hi hun,

I can assure you that you are not on your own. Some of these ladies have been TTCing for years and years..
I understand how you feel though, it feels like it is never going to happen. I was like you, assumed I would come off BCP and get preggo straightaway.

We've been trying for 2 years now, with an mmc last August. Its been 11 months since and still nothing.
I had tests done post m/c and it seems everything is working as it should. DH has not had SA, I think this is the next step, but it scares me as I don't want them to tell us there's a problem and then I lose the last remaining hope I have (which is that I got preggo once so it can happen again!)

Life does become a perpetual cycle of TTCing and waiting... I too have tried allsorts... OPK's, CBFM, Concieve Plus, sex every way I can think of, legs up in the air afterwards... you name it, we've done it

The only thing I can say is that they say its completely normal for it to take around a year to conceive. Last time for me, it was dead on 12 months..
I hope for both of us, it happens and it happens soon.

Feel free to vent on here though, you will find tonnes of support from people who are in the same boat and can ease your worries - I don't know how I could have got through the last 12 months if it wasn't for BnB.

 

[Natashaa1]

Hi Wiskey, i'm 29 and have been ttc#1 for 11 months and have just been diagnosed with mild pcos, so i'm pretty much in the same boat as you and totally understand how you are feeling. I spend my whole time symtom spotting, goggling stuff and also deciding what i'm going to do next month better!

I'm also sick of people saying just relax it'll happen, how are you meant to relax??!!

I'd be happy to be you ttc bud and feel free to vent anytime

Good luck and baby dust x

 

[ragdoll]

You are not alone hun, I am 32 and been TTC for 2 years now. Nothing. I seem to be okay, tests all fine. Awaiting DH SA test, hope that's okay.
I agree with Natashaa. People saying "relax, it will happen" HELLOOOOOO its hard to relax. Its those with kids that say it too.
Now I haven't tried the other stuff, softcups, preeseed etc. DH thinks I am too obssessed as it is so no way am I going to mention that stuff.
But I do need to lose some weight and hope that helps.


Vent away, we are all listening.

 

[Sophe]

I am 32 I have been officially TTC with DH for 10 months, but i was NTNP for a very long time before that. I would not be so worried if i was you 9 months is perfectly normal, what worries me is all my years before hand NTNP and having no 'accidents'

You are still in with a chance of being ok and in the normal time lines, maybe it will happen for you in the next 6 months, try not to let yourslef worry too much. Of course this is very hard, but i know a fw people who have take 1 year to 18 months to conceive but still did it on their own

One thing I would say though is, if you decide to go to the GP just lie about how long you've been trying, it can take months and months between the first DR's appointment and actually anything happening... and if you do get preggo whilst on th waiting list for the fertility clinic then no harm done...
luckily for me I had mentioned to my GP about NTNP a few years ago and she had noted it so reffered me straight away to FS, however in my area berkshire, it takes 8 months from reffereal until all the tests are done



Good luck, wishing you lots of baby dust x x x


:

 

[Princess Lou]

Hi.

I'm 24 and we started trying 3 years ago this month.

Try and stay positive about it all. It's hard, I know it's hard, but when you start feeling negative and thinking it will never happen is when you lose all hope and give up.

In the 2WW do something to take your mind off things. I usually buy a new book, go running and do a project like cross stitching.

Another thing I do, which was suggested by my hubby, I set up a new e-mail address and whenever I get really depressed, I write ll my thoughts and feelings down and send it to the address. My hubby has access to it and regularly checks it to see how things are going. I don't tell him everything because it makes him feel bad that he can't do anything to help - all the issues lie with me.

Definitely get down to your doctor now and exaggerate a little if you have to about how long you have been trying. Where I live there is only a nine week waiting list but I know it can be anywhere up to a year in some places.

Also, there is always the possibility that IVF is going to be an option and you can't go on the waiting list (average ten month waiting time) until you have the right BMI so I would recommend looking into what the requirements are in your area and getting it to what you need it before you are told about it. (Obviously I don't know if you need to work on your BMI, I'm just giving yo some of the knowledge I have.)

It doesn't matter if doctors tell women that they need to lose weight before they will fall pregnant, about 75% of the people I know who have fallen pregnant have been overweight and about a third have been obese.

If you need a shoulder or a rant, feel free to send me a message.

Good luck. X

 

[whiskey]

Ladies - thanks so much for taking the time to reply - it really does make such a difference knowing other people are out there going through the same thing. I'd love to get a little support network going if anyone's keen?!

Sophe and princess Lou - thanks for the advice re: visiting the doctors - my OH and I are from the UK but both working in HK at the moment which has it's benefits because you can pretty much get anything here as long as you've got the cash (you can even buy Clomid over the counter which I'm trying not to be tempted by!!)

Do any of you girls know what the next step would be after HSG, Bloodwork and SA? I know it sounds dramatic but I am seriously considering going straight for IUI next month - I can't bear this waiting!! My OH keep saying he's not worried at all and I know there's ladies on here who have been ttc for far longer than I - I do feel a bit embarrassed by how I'm dealing with this - I thought I'd be stronger!! xx

 

[razzledazzle]

Hi whiskey I could almost have written your post myself. To back up the other ladies do get to the doc. I did and was referred after 9 months. We have just had my blood results and hubby's SA results back. Now we have a 6 month wait for the dye test and 7 for our next appointment. Stupid waiting lists! I understand what you mean about being embarrassed about fretting over the time scale I am much the same. My heart totally goes out to everyone who has been trying for years and I feel silly for panicking yet. For me, I think its my age more than the timescale that is worrying me. Anyway, just to say I'm in the boat with you in many ways. Oh and please don't buy Clomid over the counter. I have heard it can be really dangerous if you don't know what you're doing- somebody told me because I was tempted to but off the net. Imagine if you don't have a problem at all and you go and take it. I think you could overstimulate your ovaries and cause damage rather than repair it. Then you'd have a much bigger problem. Anyway baby dust and a big hello to you all xxx

 

[mjemma]

My OH keep saying he's not worried at all and I know there's ladies on here who have been ttc for far longer than I - I do feel a bit embarrassed by how I'm dealing with this - I thought I'd be stronger!! xx

Don't be silly, I think we all know how hard it can hit you and it is really difficult to stay strong. My husband is the the same with the positive attitude and I appreciate his resolve but they don't have to deal with the hormones and AF every month so I think it is different for them.

 

[whiskey]

RazzleDazzle - I can't believe that's how long you have to wait between tests! Fingers crossed you won't need that next appointment....

I'm 11DPO at the moment - no symptoms at all so guessing it's once again not my month. DH is having another SA this week and then we're making appointment to see a specialist next week. Has anyone considered going down the private fertility route?

Where is everyone else in their cycle? Anyone feeling positive? xx

 

[Natashaa1]

Princess Lou the email idea is great, my OH is great but i find it so hard to talk to him, i'm a bottler and bottle everything up most times he drags it out of me but i think i would find emailing so much easier and that would totally help to bring him in!

Today is CD4 for me, this month i defo ovulated with pcos its not given and my cycle was 31 days which is normal, so i have mixed emotions. I convinced (as i do every month even though i tell me i'm not going to do it next month) myself this was 'my' month and low and behold another month and it wasn't. So when AF showed up i was gutted, but then part of me thinks great i did ovulate and 31 days is 'normal' so maybe my cycles are kinda regulating themselves!

I also have an appointment for the 28th to see a gyno, which i also have mixed emotions about. Part of me thinks great step 1 is closer but the other part of me is terrified as at the min i have hope, what if they find something worse than just the pcos...........?? also terrified of the tests and i guess embarrassed by the intrusion of it all!

Ahhhhh..............

Heres a questions, do you guys have friends/ family/ work collegues that are like oh when will you 2 be having a baby?? what do you tell them?

 

[Sophe]

Ladies - thanks so much for taking the time to reply - it really does make such a difference knowing other people are out there going through the same thing. I'd love to get a little support network going if anyone's keen?!

Sophe and princess Lou - thanks for the advice re: visiting the doctors - my OH and I are from the UK but both working in HK at the moment which has it's benefits because you can pretty much get anything here as long as you've got the cash (you can even buy Clomid over the counter which I'm trying not to be tempted by!!)

Do any of you girls know what the next step would be after HSG, Bloodwork and SA? I know it sounds dramatic but I am seriously considering going straight for IUI next month - I can't bear this waiting!! My OH keep saying he's not worried at all and I know there's ladies on here who have been ttc for far longer than I - I do feel a bit embarrassed by how I'm dealing with this - I thought I'd be stronger!! xx[/QUOT


My FS said if my HSG is clear which i have next month then i will try Comid to step up agg production, i think after that it is IUI.

Wow i think i may have bought the Clomid by now if I was you!! The waiting here is so frustrating!

 

[razzledazzle]

Its day 14 for us now and still no high on the CBFM. I'm hoping I ovulate soon but my cycles range from 29 to 34 days so I have a few days for it to happen yet. Is anyone else using CBFM?

 

[NewToAllThis]

Its day 14 for us now and still no high on the CBFM. I'm hoping I ovulate soon but my cycles range from 29 to 34 days so I have a few days for it to happen yet. Is anyone else using CBFM?

Yes I'm using CBFM. I get a peak normally around day 14/15 and cycles are 28/29 days, although last month was 25 days with peak on day 11.

How long have you been using it? I've had mine 6 months

 

[AprilShowers1]

I'm right there with you guys. Technically I've been trying to conceive a healthy baby for 13 months but I got pregnant after 2 months of trying...then I lost the baby at 9 weeks. It's been 9 months of stressful trying since the recovery from the miscarriage. It's bad enough to lose a baby, but then for it to be difficult to conceive again just makes the pain 100 times worse. I've done opks (ovulate every month around day 14), put the legs in the air, bd every other day, tried clomid for 2 cycles...it leads to a dead end every month. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself and know I need to focus on the good in life but it's easier said than done. All we can do is hope and pray that someday we'll have our chance.

 

[whiskey]

AprilShowers1 - I'm so so sorry to hear about your mc - I really hope you get your BFP soon. xx

razzledazzle - My CBFM broke after a month (and couldn't get it replaced because I'm in Hong Kong...booo!) heard great things about them.

Sophe - it's so hard resisting the temptation of Clomid when you can get it in the equivalent of Boots Chemist here!!

Well ladies, my Af is due on Thursday and 99% sure it's on its way so I've booked an appointment with a fertility specialist for next Tuesday. I'm actually very surprised that my OH is going along with it!! Is it just me or does anyone hate the feeling of helplessness every month - when you do all you can and nothing happens?

Natashaa1 - my friends and family ask all the time!! I keep saying that we're enjoying being married before they start trying which works! xx

 

[razzledazzle]

You're not on you're own. The helplessness is a horrible feeling. I didn't know I was such a control freak till this came up and its something I can't control at all.

I have now been totally open with family and friends about what is happening and how I feel and they have all shut up. At last.

Ah well. First cycle of CBFM and I got my first high today. Yay (but boo- I'm just not in the mood for BD)

 

[whiskey]

Good luck razzledazzle!! I just got my AF today
Oh well, I guess that means I can start thinking about all the weird wonderful tricks I'm going to try this month!

 

[NewToAllThis]

I'm right there with you guys. Technically I've been trying to conceive a healthy baby for 13 months but I got pregnant after 2 months of trying...then I lost the baby at 9 weeks. It's been 9 months of stressful trying since the recovery from the miscarriage. It's bad enough to lose a baby, but then for it to be difficult to conceive again just makes the pain 100 times worse. I've done opks (ovulate every month around day 14), put the legs in the air, bd every other day, tried clomid for 2 cycles...it leads to a dead end every month. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself and know I need to focus on the good in life but it's easier said than done. All we can do is hope and pray that someday we'll have our chance.

Sorry for your loss hun. I lost a baby at 12 weeks last Aug and its taken me a long while to get over it.
12 months to conceive and I was totally devastated at the scan to be told there was no heartbeat.
Everyone said, "well at least you know you can get pregnant" and "you're more fertile after miscarriage"... well I am still trying.. and nothing.
It's heartbreaking.

 

[whiskey]

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