36, Second failed IVF


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Jul 5, 2023
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Hi everyone. I'm new to BabyandBump, but a friend has recommended this forum to me.

This morning I found out that my second IVF transfer was not successful.

I stopped taking my birth control pill in May 2021 (age 34) and my husband and I casually tried for a baby until December 2021.

In January 2022, we sought a fertility specialist and went through all of the tests and assessments. Overall, great news. HSG was clear, blood work was normal. My husband's sperm had some abnormalities but nothing that my doctors were concerned about.

By July 2022 and August 2022, we had completed 2 failed IUIs. We were prepared to start IVF in September 2022. At that point, we had a death in the family and in October 2022, I had knee surgery to repair a torn meniscus.

I was extremely frustrated with the care I had received with my fertility group. In January 2023, we decided to jump ship and change to a new fertility doctor, who I now love.

She drained a cyst that I had (which never came back) and we prepared for an egg retreival.

March 2023: I produced 28 eggs! (Holy crap, right?). Out of the 28, 25 were fertilized and 24 of them started to divide. Out of the 24 fertilized eggs that became embryos, 16 of them were of quality to be genetically tested- PGT-A. We tested 12 of the 16 ($$$!) and of those 12 embryos, 7 of them were of good quality. All good news!

May 1 2023, I had my first transfer, of one happy embryo. By May 15, we knew it was not successful.

I did my second transfer on June 19, 2023 and found out this morning that it was not successful.

After the first transfer, I was a wreck. The progesterone shots were SO painful- I couldn't sleep, I couldn't sit, I was uncomfortable at work and driving my car. I was a hormonal mess (SOBBED for an hour after my husband suggested we switch sides of the bed so that I was closer to the bathroom).

After the second transfer- I felt pretty good! I knew what to expect. My doctor changed the size of my progesterone needle (thank goodness). I was less stressed, I slept through the night. I went to yoga on the weekends and had started going to acupuncture twice a week. I ate well and drank lots of water.

I am so disappointed to have a second BFN. I even had discomfort that seemed like implantation cramps on days 5-8.

I've had such good news and am so fortunate to not have any complications. Why is this happening. My acupuncturist just recommended I read "The Infertility Cure" which should be coming to me tomorrow. My husband and I moved to a new area a few years ago and it's been hard to make quality friends down here. I feel really alone. My friends back home are amazing, but it's not the same. I'm really hoping to find, and also give, some extra support to everyone else who has experienced the feeling of disappointment. Feeling defeated, when you've seemingly tried it all.

I'm new to forums in general. And unsure how this will all work. But thanks for reading, thank you in advance for sharing, and hoping incredible love and success for us all.
:hugs: I've never done IVF but I have read stories over the years of perfectly healthy women needing to do it 3-4+ times before a successful transfer. I know I can't really comfort you or offer much in the way of experience, but I do want to wish you the best of luck for your next transfer :dust:.
I’m so sorry. Infertility sucks! I didn’t do IVF, but have PCOS and dealt with infertility. I have 3 children, but I went through so many years and failed cycles to get them here. There is hope! I pray they can figure out what they can do to help make it successful. I’m so glad you’re here! This is a great little community.
Hello! My situation was VERY similar to yours. I met w doctor after doctor, spent hours researching and even reached out to authors of some the articles I had read for further thoughts/advice. It was then that I spoke with an expert on silent endometriosis who told me "I believe they've overlooked the soil for the seed" I had multiple endometrial biopsies done which showed endometritis. Different than endometriosis, endometritis is simply inflammation of the uterus, but it often goes hand in hand with endometriosis. The only way to check for endometriosis is thru a laproscopic surgery. So instead, I decided to first go gluten free to try to get rid of the inflammation. After all, nothing inflamed is really ideal, and I knew you needed an ideal environment for implantation. I went gluten free for 2 months and my 5th and final endometrial biopsy finally came back clear!! My very next IVF transfer stuck! That was after 4 failed transfers! After that baby was born, I had HORRIBLE endometriosis symptoms. (It was definitely no longer silent!) And did have a laproscopic excision done to get rid of the endo. I stayed gluten free and went on to have 2 more children naturally without IVF or any help at all. Good luck to you!! I know how crushing infertility is, and I hope you have success soon!
Hello, I'm very sorry to hear about your struggles. Dealing with infertility can be both emotionally and financially draining. My advice is to maintain a positive outlook and prepare both your mind and body for the next steps. While some women are fortunate to achieve success on their first attempt, I have friends who conceived with their first IVF cycle. However, I also know women who needed 7 or 8 attempts before succeeding - each journey is incredibly unique. In the meantime, it's essential to maintain open communication with your doctor and explore additional possibilities to boost your chances. Personally, I'm actively engaged in educating myself; attending webinars hosted by reputable sources like fertially and reading materials from platforms like myivfanswers helps me understand different approaches and ensure I'm not overlooking any possibilities.Wishing you the best of luck on your journey

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