37 and pregnant with new partner

[honeybear]

I recently started dating my partner and have now found out I am 4 weeks pregnant which has completely shocked us both. Neither of us has ever had children before and I have always wanted a family at some point but I am not sure if my partner did. I am really happy at the news but devastated this has happened so soon into our relationship but regardless of this I cannot bear to terminate this pregnancy which he says is the only way to go. I know I couldn't live with the guilt or trauma of a termination and my family say I should keep it not just for those reasons but as I am older as well. I am so socked and confused by this situation.

 

[Blythe]

I recently started dating my partner and have now found out I am 4 weeks pregnant which has completely shocked us both. Neither of us has ever had children before and I have always wanted a family at some point but I am not sure if my partner did. I am really happy at the news but devastated this has happened so soon into our relationship but regardless of this I cannot bear to terminate this pregnancy which he says is the only way to go. I know I couldn't live with the guilt or trauma of a termination and my family say I should keep it not just for those reasons but as I am older as well. I am so socked and confused by this situation.

Hi honeybear

Sorry to hear about your situation.....to be honest I think you might have better luck in another forum as this one is for those of us going through the often heartbreaking journey of trying to get pregnant....I think advice on termination of a pregnancy would be better sought elsewhere. I wish you the best with whatever decision you make x

 

[honeybear]

Hi Blythe, I think I have put this in the wrong forum too but don't know how to move it. I don't want to terminate this pregnancy especially as I am over 35 and I am happy about being pregnant especially after seeing how you ladies are struggling to conceive. I just was hoping on advice to convince my partner this is the right decision to keep it even though it is a mistake too early on in our relationship.

 

[Blythe]

Hi Blythe, I think I have put this in the wrong forum too but don't know how to move it. I don't want to terminate this pregnancy especially as I am over 35 and I am happy about being pregnant especially after seeing how you ladies are struggling to conceive. I just was hoping on advice to convince my partner this is the right decision to keep it even though it is a mistake too early on in our relationship.

i will try and work out how to direct message you x

 

[Blythe]

Hi Blythe, I think I have put this in the wrong forum too but don't know how to move it. I don't want to terminate this pregnancy especially as I am over 35 and I am happy about being pregnant especially after seeing how you ladies are struggling to conceive. I just was hoping on advice to convince my partner this is the right decision to keep it even though it is a mistake too early on in our relationship.

ooo cannot work out how to send a direct message. i became pregnant with my son when i was 36 and had him when i was 37....in fact i had been sort of trying to conceive for some time with my partner but given up on that and really given up on the relationship too if I'm honest - i then unexpectedly found out i was pregnant and really it was a no brainer for me...even if my partner had said he did not want the pregnancy to continue i would have ignored it. as it turned out having a child has been a blessing for us and we have now been trying for another for 18 months. This decision is your own (but clearly there may be very sad consequences if your partner refuses to be involved)...my gut feeling is you have made your decision. If you have the support of your family that is wonderful and you may need it if your partner stands his ground on this. He may come round to the idea or he may refuse to be involved or resent you. Perhaps you can try and direct message me as I'm happy to chat...x

 

[binksmommy]

I pray for this woman to make the right decision ... So many want children and can't ... breaks my heart.. a baby lost before it was even born

 

[Bettydraper]

Really sorry for your situation honeybear. Agree with the above that you seem to have made you decision deep down, so tough for you that life has thrown you this curveball. I think honestly is the best thing for the situation, tell your new guy how scared and freaked out that you are and let him be honest too, he's allowed that, but he also needs to remember that he played a significant role in getting you to this place. It sounds like its still early so let him say things that he may come to regret and try not to freak out about it, as the weeks go by he'll find his balance too. You're going out with him so he must be a good guy, if he turns out to be a rat you just found out sooner than you would have otherwise. You can't predict the future but it could work out just fine (maybe I've seen to many romcoms), but whatever happens, please don't ever ever let a guys pressure you into a decision this important, I think I agree that you certianly will regret it given your age and your desire to have children. It gets REALLY hard when you're older believe me.

Good luck, keep us updated x

 

[PositiveUs]

Keep the baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everything else will fall into place.

 

[2have4kids]

Actually I'm sorry that your partner is pressuring you to terminate. That's a rough situation. You need to do what your instincts tell you to. If I were you when you go in for your u/s, get the doc to instruct the tech to light up your ovaries so they can count how many natural follicles you have left. Being 37 you may be nearing the end of your fertility rope anyway. I'm not sure if an amh test is going to work if you're preggers but this bloodtest will also tell you if you're body is heading towards infertility. AMH bloodiest is very accurate, very new and only available in the USA. Knowing this information might help you solidify your decision.
There are also a handful of women, some even in their twenties, using donour sperm to get preggers. No partner required. Would you still want the baby if he left, moved countries and you had no financial support. In the end, it's all about how much you want a baby in your life right?