38 pregnant by ex boyfriend.. feeling alone!

[lynn615]

I am 38 and just found out a few weeks ago that I am 6 1/2 weeks pregnant. The father is my ex boyfriend. We were together for almost 4 years. I relocated to Tennessee for him. We were very in love but it wasn't working for him anymore. He moved out a few months ago and we started sleeping together again in June. When I told him, he said that there is no way we can do this and that this can't happen. I never thought I could get pregnant due to the fact that I have endometriosis and ovarian cysts. The whole time we were together I never got pregnant. He said he's dating someone else now. He also said that he hasn't told her.. I am completely heartbroken, and feeling alone in a town that I moved to for him! My friends and family are so far away. I told him last week that I'm keeping it. He hasn't called to check on me since! I was already heartbroken over him and this makes it worse! I am scared I won't be able to do this alone or financially support a child. I decided to keep it based on the fact that I'm 38 and want kids. There was never another option for me. I would love advice/ support from anyone. It's scary to feel like your going through this alone.

 

[lily2011]

and congrats on your LO!

You are not alone! Where are you from - If you only moved there for him, is it possible you can move back home or near family/friends? You can def do this alone but having someone to turn to, even if it's just one person...can make all the difference in the world.

 

[mskellydenise]

Is it possible to move back home so you can be surrounded by your family and friends?

 

[lynn615]

no... unfortunately being pregnant, I'm stuck here for a while.. I have a somewhat ok job and who is going to hire me while pregnant..I currently work in advertising. my family is in Cali and I moved here from Texas.. I would have to save up and move in about a year. I'd have to wait for the baby to be old enough where I could fly out and have a friend watch him/her while I go on interviews.. then I have to save for movers, deposits, ect. It's exhausting.

 

[Snowball]

I'm so sorry to hear your ex has been so unsympathetic to the situation

My ex DH left me when I was 6 weeks pg for another woman (who he didn't tell I was pg), then told me he didn't want our baby and wanted me to get rid of it. I'm not going to lie it takes a lot of strength when you still have feelings for someone to prise yourself off of them and prove to them that if they are going to to be unsupportive then you're going to do it regardless.

Keep strong and make sure you take good care of yourself . I forgot about that part when I was first pg and first tri was horrible because I felt so weak all the time.

 

[lynn615]

yeah, it's definitely hard when your still in love with him. He basically doesn't want it or me because he met someone else! it's hard to believe that someone I spent 4 years with and thought I was going to marry and have a child with could choose someone he hardly knows over having a family with me! I'm trying to be strong and think about this child.. it's so scary thinking about my financial situation.. I'm afraid of doing this alone = / He is turning into someone I don't know anymore..

 

[Snowball]

yeah, it's definitely hard when your still in love with him. He basically doesn't want it or me because he met someone else! it's hard to believe that someone I spent 4 years with and thought I was going to marry and have a child with could choose someone he hardly knows over having a family with me! I'm trying to be strong and think about this child.. it's so scary thinking about my financial situation.. I'm afraid of doing this alone = / He is turning into someone I don't know anymore..

I know exactly what you mean. Me and my DH had been together for 6 1/2 years, we've had 4 beautiful children together and I never envisioned him just uping and going. He had an affair with someone he'd known for 6 months and 6 weeks into it, ran off in the middle of the night in the back of his mums car. I've never felt so alone as the day he ran off and 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant again! Like your ex, mine is no longer the person I knew, he'll say some horrible nasty things to me which are totally uncalled for and hurtful... I've never known this person

Financially it's scary but trust me hun you will cope. I'd never had to deal with rent and bills on my own and it frightened the life out of me but it does all fall into place. As for your ex, it's their loss and there WILL be a time when he wakes up and realises what he gave up on a whim because of a novelty relationship and you will be long down the road with your beautiful baby and someone who will walk over hot coals to make you happy