39+4- So emotional I could scream! (rant)

[Blackrain90]

I know I'm still a few days from my due date, but I'm so ready to have this baby. The problem is, I am also so not ready to be done being pregnant! And the emotional pull of that is killing me! I keep jumping back and forth between the two, and I feel like bawling every time I think about it. As much as I want to meet this little man, get this whole birth thing over with, and stop being so uncomfortable, I don't want to give up the one-on-one time with him. I've been a hormonal mess since I went on maternity leave-my mother is even avoiding me now (normally she is so clingy, but I've been really short with her lately)- if you knew my mother you wouldn't blame me, but normally I can deal with her better than anyone.
I've been so short with my husband too, but he is trying really hard I can tell, so I've tried to cut him some slack, poor guy.
But if one more person asks if baby is coming yet, or if I've tried all the tricks to make him come sooner, I'm gonna flip! As much as I want to meet him, I don't want to wish away my pregnancy!
Worst thing is all the pressure to have him early: my moms partner (who is as close to me as my mom) has to go in for surgery out of town 4 days after my due date to have her ovaries/uterus etc removed due to cancer, so they are pushing me to try to get him out sooner so they can be here, and my husband only booked off about a week after my due date, so he wants him to be here sooner so he gets more time with him.
No one seems to realize I have NO control over this!! The only sign I've had that labour could happen at some point was baby dropped about a week ago. No engaging, no plug, and not sure about effacing/dilation but doc didn't mention last week after internal exam so I'm guessing 0 and 0.

I wish I could make up my mind about if I want him out now though, would be so much easier on my emotions!

Sigh...I feel a bit better now getting this all out. Don't really have anyone I can talk to about this who isn't affected. My dad is pretty good, but he's like most men-give them a problem and they try to fix it, rather than just listening and letting you vent lol. So thanks for listening! I'm sure someone is/has gone through similar feelings!

 

[lauraairving]

I'm far from my due date but I know how you feel. I think everyone around me hates me at the moment I'm a short tempered snappy cow lol. I guess just mentally prepare yourself for him coming out as it's got to happen lol. Big hugs. Hope you're feeling better soon. If you feel like you have no one to talk to, here is the best place as were all in the same situation!

 

[lotuspetals]

Hey sweetie! I'm right behind you. Can't imagine the roller coaster you're on.

Just remember though, he will come when he's ready. No need to force something so natural. Timing is always impeccable, so just relax, enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, cause it really is such a sacred time. Xo

 

[Blackrain90]

Ugh! (Another rant haha!) I can't believe my mother. I had to go up to L&D due to elevated blood pressure (very out of ordinary for me, doc figured I was fine but wanted baby monitored for a few mins to make sure). I told mom I was going up, she asked if I wanted her to meet me but I said no (hubby was coming), she said ok. While at the hospital getting checked, she messaged us again saying she had to have blood work done at hospital and asked if I wanted her to come up and visit us-again, hubby texted her saying no everything was fine. About 10 mins later, a very confused nurse comes in to tell me my mom was there asking if she could come in...with a face mask on. (She claims since she was sick-like 2 weeks ago-that she should have the mask just to make sure I didn't get sick...but I've spent several days with her since she was sick...she just likes to have attention on her). I was so embarrassed, especially since everything was fine and I was only there for an hour! I had the nurse send her away to the family area, and she jumped up all concerned when we came out to see her (said she was driving when we responded to her text-what did she not check her phone when she got there to see if I wanted her up there??) She then proceeded to tell me how the exact same thing happened to her with me a few days before labour (every time I tell her something about my pregnancy, she says it's exactly the same thing she experienced, even if it's the opposite of something she's told me in the past). I vented to my dad and he told me to take some deep breaths and relax, the Nan in my mom was just coming out-but I swear I'm gonna kill her!! I almost hope baby comes on Wednesday or Thursday just so she won't be able to be there. It feels mean cuz I did want her there, but I am just so sick of her!!!!