3rd month TTC - already getting depressed :(

[AshleyR]

It's only our 3rd month TTC but I already find myself getting very depressed about the fact that I'm not pregnant yet.

I have very regular cycles and thought for sure when we started to TTC that we'd get pregnant quick. I really wanted a spring baby and since we started TTC in August I was just on the cusp of having our baby in April/May which would have been perfect! I would have had to get pregnant the very first month in order for that to happen.

This wasn't a really big deal to me, until I found out this week that two of my very good friends (who just so happened to get married at the same time as me, too) are pregnant with #2 and having their babies IN THE SPRING, and GOT PREGNANT ON THE FIRST TRY! These two friends got pregnant with #1 at the same time too, right after our weddings (DH wasn't ready at the time). I can't help but feel a little bit left out of all the baby fun.




Sigh. I know it's "normal" for it to take up to a year to get pregnant, but what are the chances that both friends would get pregnant on the first try, BOTH times? Makes me really wonder if there is something wrong with us.... why can't we be one of those lucky ones?

I apologize to anyone that may be reading this who has been trying WAY longer than us. I know that many people have been trying for years and for me to be complaining about not getting our BFP after only 3 months... I know it's a little silly, but I just can't help the resentful feelings I am having right now.

 

[carelove07]

I understand how you feel! when ttc, a month and seem like forever! I wish you all the luck! I hope this month is your month!

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Hi,

I'm the same as you hun. Ive only been ttc for a few cycles and compared to some of the lovely ladies on here, its only a drop in the oceon, but I still feel very down about it.

I feel like I can't be completely happy anymore and I find myself doing really big sighs and feeling empty.

I too have friends who got pregnant very quickly on their first month ttc. I kind of think maybe it did take them longer and they just say it happened quickly.....I don't know.

Think I do need to chill out with it all and try not to think about it as much, because even coming on here it making me obsesed with symptoms and everything. But I love this site !!

I have long cycles so that gets me down too because I have a long time to wait.

Hope we get our BFP's soon x

 

[littleprinces]

same, we have been trying for 10 months and we have had months when the symptoms have suggested we did it only for the witch to come in uninvited, just have faith and remember that it can take a year, sometimes longer but it will be worth it hunny :3

 

[Flutterly]

I feel for you hun, I'm the same and only on my second cycle. AF is coming and I feel massively disappointed and sad that it's not happened this time round. Will be working hard next cycle to get pregnant!!

 

[new_to_this]

Yes, I know this feeling well! I posted something similar on the TTC main forum a few days ago. It is depressing when other people tell you their good news. I have to let it wash over me now and not think too much about it.

Easy to say but try not to get too stressed. I am just trying to go with the flow and enjoy trying! It is good to have this forum to come onto and be able to talk to other people that understand. I am very thankful for that.

Hang in there!

 

[mysteriouseye]

I completely understand how you feel. I know a few people that got gotten pregnant first time and really easily, yet to find out they are do drugs and are out partying all the time when they should be at home looking after they’re baby! And that makes me soo angry!

 

[mammawannabe]

I know how you feel. Am in the same boat....in our 3rd month TTC right now and i feel like it's never gonna happen. I'm constantly worrying that something might be wrong and why hasn't it happened yet.
I work as a nurse in a hospital, so i'm surrounded by tons of ladies my age, and every time i turn around 3 more people are pregnant. It's so frustrating!
DH tells me to relax and it will happen, but i can't help wonder if it ever will.

It kills me when i see young mothers who are out partying and never with their kids because i would give anything to be home with my little ones, spending some family time together.

We will get through it together....

 

[MrsVaughan]

Finally people who i can relate to.. I am in the exact same boat as you on my third cycle and impatiently waiting.. If i am not pregnant this time i think there maybe problems, i have pcos but i am basically regular which i guess is quite lucky.. Friends seem to just get pregnant at a drop of a hat, when they apparently havent even been trying.. We have worked hard this month just really hope this will be it.. It annoys me too when some girls pop out more kids when they arent even looking after the one the have!!!

Rant over.. GL everyone xx

 

[Kate...]

So this is our third month trying ! I definitely needed to relate to some people on here. It's so frustrating, both months I thought for sure that I would get a positive, but sure enough, that time of month came around . So, I just got my period two days ago, gonna try again this cycle. Fingers crossed!!

 

[Heather11]

We are on month number two, but I can tell you that I know how you feel about being left out of the baby fun. Most of my friends already have little ones and I feel left out at times! I am glad to have found this place though! Great place to vent about all of this stuff!

 

[Faythe]

Chin up and don't get bogged down by it all. You'll get your BFP soon, I'm sure.

 

[sidthekid]

Since my DH and I have started to talk about it I've been a little baby crazy and definitely driving myself crazy.
Every single month I hold my breath and do everything I possibly can until there's nothing left to do but wait.
I get excited, impatient and uneasy but then every month AF comes around right when she's suppose to and I feel positively crushed.
I get worried I can't have children and I'm too embarrassed to speak to my doctor about it because I know in my heart of hearts i'm just being irrational because I am healthy (I hope, *nervous chuckle*).
However, just the same, I become quite depressed about it, maybe even tear up a little when I see diaper commercials.

 

[WantingABubba]

I feel the same we've been TTC two months, and I'm entering my third cycle now. We did TTC a month before we officially decided to TTC, but I had no idea about O times, I just noticed EWCM. Then the following month, I done a lot of research. The first month we properly TTC, I was CONVINCED we were preg. We'd used Conceieve Plus every time we BD'd. We BD'd so much during and after my fertile period. And I used OPKs, raised legs after sex and went to sleep after BD'ing. My boobs were so sore post ovulation, and I had so many other symptoms. Tested WAY too much, pissed my money down the toilet, and AF came right on time. Second month (cycle just gone) we only BD'd twice, but one day before O day. Used Conceive Plus once. Got very sore boobs again and backache. Tried not to symptom spot. Got BFNs for days. AF came right on time, on Christmas day at that. On CD2 now. Gonna use Robitissun this month, and try to relax a little more. It's very depressing, I want a baby so much, and I feel like it's never going to happen.

Sorry, I've rambled. What I'm trying to say is I know how you feel, and I hope we get our s soon *hugs*

 

[LemonTea]

I understand how you feel. DH and I decided to not try, not prevent for a few months before our official TTC date. I was so SURE that we would never actually get past those three months without a BFP. I won't call myself obsessed, but I'd been planning for when we'd start our family for a few years at that point. I'd read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility," I knew how to chart my cycles (temps, cervical fluid and position) and had been "practice charting" for several months and knew roughly when I ovulated each month, and DH and I were taking vitamin supplements for several months before that time. I just knew that, armed with all this knowledge, there was no way we'd be trying for very long.

I was very sad when we reached the end of our three months of NTNP with nothing to show but a bunch of negative tests. It was incredibly disappointing, and even though I knew I was still in the normal 1-year of trying range, I was sad that I wasn't one of the lucky ones who got a BFP right away. My DH did not understand why I was so upset then (but I think he's starting to now).

I told myself that since we'd had practice, it would just be a matter of time once we actually started to actively try for a baby. Every month I got my hopes up that we would get a BFP, and every month I was so disappointed, and so so sad. It is crazy to me how low I can feel when my period starts, and how hopeful I still end up getting when AF is over and we get another chance to try. I feel stupid for getting my hopes up but every month, but it still happens.

What sucked was when I would share my feelings with people, and they would say, "Oh, it's only been X number of months. Give it time -- it's normal for it to take up to a year." But then I would have all these friends and family who got pregnant during the first one, two or three tries. I am definitely not trying to downplay how it feels when someone who's been trying for YEARS hears when someone who still hasn't hit the one year mark say how sad and depressed they are when they are still not pregnant -- I haven't had that experience, and can't speak to it. But I can speak to how sad I felt (and still feel) that this has been harder for my husband and I than we thought it would be. How we didn't get to have that happy romantic BFP moment after a few months of fun trying, but that our BFP might come with medical assistance or not at all.

I can also speak to how it feels to get married at the same time as your close friends, and watch them get pregnant before you. Our one year anniversary was this past summer. Four couples that DH and I knew and were close to got married within four weeks of our own wedding in 2010. One of those couples just announced they are pregnant a few weeks ago, and I expect to hear from at least one more couple in the next few months. Meanwhile, DH's sister, who had her second baby two weeks before our wedding, just told us a few weeks back that she is expecting her third. It is so hard. I am very happy for them, but sometimes comparing myself to others (which I know I shouldn't do) just makes me feel awful, and yes, jealous. I want to be pregnant too. We all do.

I don't have any advice, other than to say hang in there and vent here whenever you need to. Many of us are right where you are now (or were there a while ago), and can relate to what you are going through. Good luck -- I hope your stay here is very short!

 

[LemonTea]

LOL -- I wrote that whole long post, and then saw near your avatar that you are now expecting. Congratulations! It looks like you didn't have long to wait after all