4 week old baby and I am confused.

[icclebaby]

Hi ladies,
I found this site very late in my pregnancy and since then have been an avid reader but never posted b4.
I now have a 4 week old little girl, and motherhood is not a 'natural' thing for me, I do not know what to do with her during the day, after I have fed her she appears sleepy so I try to put her down in her moses basket but within a few minutes she is awake again and starts crying, so I give her a short while then will pick her up, she will then go sleepy so I try putting her down again but she will wake up again. Then even if she has been awake for most of the day we still are struggling to get her to sleep in the evenings, during the nite she is good, I can feed her and put her down and she will go back to sleep. Should she be sleeping during the day or not really, should I not be trying to put her down in her moses basket - should I be trying to do other stuff with her??? I am grateful for all your advice ladies. I no there are no rules, but I really dont know if i am even on the right track!!! Sorry. Btw I am BF every 3 hours which is going well.

 

[Pyrrhic]

How long do you wait before putting her down? She will naturally prefer sleeping on you, as you're her Mummy and smell and feel nicer than a moses basket. Make sure she is fully fed (newborns fall asleep very easily so tickle her cheek to keep her feeding), wrapped up nice and warm and is totally asleep. If shes not in a deep sleep she will wake as soon as you put her down. I wait until Niamh has been asleep for 20mins then lift her hand and drop it. If I can do that without her moving, I know she's asleep Also make sure her basket is warm. I put Niamh's blanket on the radiator, then put it across the bottom of her basket.

 

[icclebaby]

Thanks for your reply, but I thought that they shouldnt fall asleep on you and should fall asleep by themselves - see what I mean about not knowing what to do!!!

 

[MoonMuffin]

A baby can not be "spoiled," they do not start forming habits until after 3 months. You can cuddle them as much as you want (and should very often to build a bond), and you should respond to them right away when they cry to build their trust. If your LO wont fall asleep in the mosses basket let them fall asleep on you. If you need to get something done, then have your LO fall asleep on you then transfer them to the mosses basket. Also try swaddling, most babies love it and helps them sleep. But at that age they don't "do" much, just try to provide stimulation, go on walks, read stories, make faces and noises and cuddle lots. And just have fun!

 

[Michelle100]

At this age you are your baby's favorite source of entertainment. As moonmuffin said, make faces, smile lots at her and talk to her, even if you feel silly making baby sounds. As for the sleeping thing, that is usually a personal choice. Some people put their babies down in the basket/crib, others let their babies fall asleep on them and then transfer. Personally I cuddle and gently rock my son who is 6 weeks old. It gives us the chance for extra bonding and he feels safe cuddled in my arms.
You definately came to the right place for advice hun! Lotsof great ideas and opinions here on B&B. Oh by the way, I find it's all trial and error with newborns.

 

[Vickie]

How long do you wait before putting her down? She will naturally prefer sleeping on you, as you're her Mummy and smell and feel nicer than a moses basket. Make sure she is fully fed (newborns fall asleep very easily so tickle her cheek to keep her feeding), wrapped up nice and warm and is totally asleep. If shes not in a deep sleep she will wake as soon as you put her down. I wait until Niamh has been asleep for 20mins then lift her hand and drop it. If I can do that without her moving, I know she's asleep Also make sure her basket is warm. I put Niamh's blanket on the radiator, then put it across the bottom of her basket.

Hannah was the same. She had to be held until fully asleep before you could put her down, and warming up her bed before we laid her down in it helped. During her daytime naps I actually held her for every last one of them!! But she always slept fine at night on her own. At 3.5 months she started (pretty much on her own) going into her crib for her naps!

 

[reallytinyamy]

Chloe has always been cuddles to sleep- she still is. As she got older she was more accomodating of being put down. If she really wont do it I put on of my t shirts over he matress so she can smell me, that often works now.

As Rafwife said, make sure she is completely asleep before trying to put her down- at least 10 minutes

 

[KarenLV]

All babies are like that about the first 4 months.Then only it starts getting easier.They dont have sleeping patterns yet and are still tryin to figure out this new world they are in. You seem to be doing a great job.Hang in there.It will come to you.

 

[Rachiebaby24]

It doesnt matter if she falls asleep in your arms....Maley used to do that alot....i used to wrap her tightly and hen put her down to try and convince her she was still being held...i also put her to sleep on her side.....

There isnt much you can do at that age...even at the age Maley is at the moment its still quite boring....se smiles now but there is only so much cooing, reading etc you can do in one day before you go loopy!! At the age your LO is....lots and lots of cuddles....! I felt silly smiling at cooing at Maley at your LO's age but i used to talk to her ALOT...silly stuff like her birth (!), how we were waiting for her to arrive and what we will do when she grows up!

Motherhood doesnt come naturally for some...i didnt bond properly with Maley until she was about 2 months.....i felt like i was just going through the motions in the beginning....but lots of cuddling definately helped

 

[JennTheMomma]

Babies love to be held, cuddled with. Its how they know they are safe, and its how a bond is formed. I have yet to find reliable research that says a baby or child will be spoiled if they are held. My son had colic and the only way he would sleep is if he was on my shoulder and I was rocking him. He's 19 months now and is pretty independant for his age, and we also babywear. Which is another thing you might want to consider. You could purchase a wrap or sling to wear your daughter.

 

[Chel]

I even think the most 'natural' seeming mothers are pulling their hair out behind closed doors (as you'll find if you stick around on this site!)

I know Jasper started to get a bit tricky around 3-4 weeks, because he started needing to be 'put to sleep', rather than him just falling asleep on his own! I didn't know what to do, it took me weeks of having a hysterical miserable baby to work out that he was tired and I needed to settle him to sleep! And I used to work in a childcare nursery.... I should have known!

This is what I found helped a lot was sticking to an approximate 'pattern'. Jasper would wake up, I'd keep him wrapped to give him a feed (took about 20 minutes for him) so if he fell back to sleep I could put him in bed and still have him swaddled tightly, if he was still awake I'd unwrap him, put him on the floor or bounce or baby gym and talk to him... at 4 weeks he would just stare at me (or try to, he couldn't quite focus his eyes and would end up cross eyed!) and he'd wiggle and flap his arms around sometimes. I'd roll him onto his belly for tummy time, keeping touching and talkin to him, and then roll him back when he's whining, talk more, roll him back onto his tummy, back and forth, until he starts crying/rubbing eyes/hiccupping/doing jerky movements (all the usual 'tired signs) then I'd swaddle him up tightly and rock him to sleep.... once he'd been asleep in my arms for 10 minutes I could put him down and walk away and he'd *usually* sleep for a couple of hours! The total time he'd be awake for was between 30 minutes and 2 hours, depending on what he needed at the time.

As far as sleeping during the day, all babies are different, but all newborns NEED their day sleeps, or they get over tired and hyperactive and then they cant sleep, even though they need to... you're aiming at 15-18 hours sleep in a 24 hour period.

Also, dont fall into the trap of thinking if you're rocking/cuddling him to sleep now you'll have to do it forever... Jasper is 3 months old, he was rocked and cuddled to sleep from birth til about 11 weeks old and then I decided for him to self settle and he puts himself to sleep every time (touch wood!!!) he has a sleep, really easily and sometimes without needing to cry first.

Okay.... that was a lot of babbling! I've been drinking coffee for the first time in about 4 months so I'm a bit hypo! This is just my opinion/experience... but I hope it helps a little.