4 week old constantly on breast and struggling to look after 2yr old :(

[leigh5tom]

Hoping someone can help me!

Since being born my son has never gone longer than 30 mins between feeds. I've had issues with low supply and was taking domperidone to up it, along with fenugreek, pumping, etc. it's upped a little now, I think, and he's only having one ff a day.

However, he is still constantly on my breast. He also cannot nap unless my nipple is in his mouth. If he was my first and I had no other children to worry about then this wouldn't be a problem as I could get comfy & stick something on Telly. However I have a very lonely 2 year old who for the past nearly 5 weeks has had to play alone. It's breaking my heart and I can tell she's feeling pushed out. She won't sit with me while I'm feeding for longer than 5 mins without climbing on baby so reading to her on the sofa hasn't been working. I'm literally stuck to the sofa and I'm feeling terrible for my daughter who wonders why mummy won't play with her. I'm feeling like all I'm doing is ignoring her or telling her off getting fed up with bfing now because of it.

Can anyone help me?

 

[missk1989]

Why dont you get a sling that you can feed in so you can still get on with things. I cant reccommend one but i know some libraries or childrens centres hold sessions where you can try some on and see whats best for you? I would ask your hv. Also have you tried a dummy? I know not everyone is a fan and my lo never had one but if being attached to you is the only way lo is sleeping then this may help you get some quality time with your DD.

 

[Rachel_C]

I definitely recommend a carrier or wrap of some kind. Is there a sling meet near you, or there are lots of sling libraries that will lend you things to try as well as teach you to use them. Some will do loans via post if there isn't one near you.

Can you try feeding on the floor too? I used to sit on the floor with my youngest balanced on my knees, using a cushion if necessary, and it left both hands more or less free to play with Duplo or whatever. Perching on a child's chair to colour was a little trickier but do-able If you can practise standing up (holding LO if you don't get a carrier) while feeding, you will at least be able to kick a ball around too

Have you tried going out? I assume you use a pram for your youngest - does he go a bit longer between feeds in there with lots of things to look at? Even if not, a good 30 minute walk with your oldest, if you're feeling up to it, is at least a chance to chat with her, hold hands, kick a ball, pick some daisies etc.

 

[leigh5tom]

Thanks everyone. I've tried a dummy but he won't take one unfortunately.

He is a very uncontent baby, which makes me query my supply still. He doesn't like the car (what kind of baby doesn't like the car?!) and the pram is hit and miss. He will occasionally settle in it but otherwise he just cries and roots. It's so tiring! I haven't been anywhere with the two if them yet except for going to someone else's house. In dreading the shops or anything because of how my youngest is x x x

 

[patch2006uk]

My eldest hated the car. We don't drive, so it wasn't a big problem for us, but he screamed the entire time he was in his car seat.

I also recommend a sling. My little one is a really chilled baby and is happy to be put down for a wriggle, but the sling for feeding while I walk has been a life saver. DS1 was a very unsettled baby generally (really windy and latch issues) and the sling was also the place he calmed the best and was content. He hated the pushchair too, which is why we started with the slings.

Also, these first few weeks are hard. I've explained to DS1 that babies are demanding, but soon they grow and we can all play together. If you can make it past the 6 week growth spurt (I'm really not looking forward to that one!), then you're through the hardest bit. Hang in there xx

 

[Emz1982_in_uk]

I definitely echo the other ladies and recommend a sling.

My eldest was 2 and a half when my daughter was born. She cluster fed a lot. Parent and baby/toddler groups saved my sanity. It gave me a chance to sit and feed whilst socialising and my son got great interaction too. I never fed him in public (didn't bf him long) but just bit the bullet second time round and it helped that every other mother was doing it anyway.

If your baby is gaining weight, pooing and weeing fine then don't worry about your supply. Your baby is very young and his behaviour sounds normal. 8 hours non stop was my daughters longest stretch. Maybe he is not transferring milk effectively. But your supply is more than likely fine. There is a brilliant video someone posted on here to show when a baby is effectively getting milk. I'll try and find it

 

[Emz1982_in_uk]

Here are the videos that show effective milk transfer. Very informative, I hope they help.

https://nbci.ca/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=6&Itemid=13

 

[leigh5tom]

Thank you for posting the videos they are really helpful!xxx