4 week old needs to be held ALL the time!

[Sarah345]

I have a 4 week old that I can't put down. He wants to be held 24/7. This is my third child and neither of my older children were like this at all. He is exclusively breastfed.
He can be fast asleep in my arms or in the sling and I put him in either cot or bouncer chair and he will wakes up screaming. I literally had him on me in the sling or my arms the entire day yesterday. It's so hard as I've two other children than need my attention and help, jobs to do around the house, meals to cook. As lovely as it sounds to just hold him I can't do this when I have 2 other kids who need food and clean clothes to wear!
I've questioned if he has reflux. He is very gassy and has bad farts and occasional burbs or small milk spews. But I'm not sure if it is that as he is happy lying flat if I'm holding him. And the bouncy chair is more upright and he still cries in this. I swaddle him but that doesn't make a difference.

He is also feeding every 1.5-2 hrs at night. In the day he can go a bit longer but that's only because he sleeps longer in the sling. At night when he wakes the only thing that comforts him is BFing him. He then co-sleeps with me and my husband moves to the spare room.

Any ideas on what to do or anyone else had his and can tell me when it ends??

Thanks!

 

[Starlight32]

My baby was like this too. I had to hold her all the time as a newborn. This gradually changed although she has only just very recently attempted sleeping without being rocked or nursed to sleep. She's almost 13 weeks. But I am able to put her down when she's in a good mood now and she mostly likes playing while I'm interacting with her or nearby. Hope you are able to find ways to manage. It's hard becaus you want to be with baby all the time but other things also need your attention and knowing baby will scream while you quickly do something else is heart breaking.

 

[Mrs.H2016]

sounds like he is not getting enough to eat. I would supplement him with some formula. I had to do that with my ds as well.

As for sleeping try taking a square of material and keep it close to you for a few days so that it smells like you. Have it tucked into to your bra against your breasts so that he can smell milk and you. We did this with my preemie so he wouldn't cry at night in hospital while I was at home. As long as his belly is full and he smells you on the square, he should be ok.

Hope this helps

 

[minties]

My third is the same - and gets enough to eat, so I don't think formula is the answer. She packs on a good 350-450 grams a week and is exclusively breastfed.

I guess some babies just wanna be held.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

What about a sling?

 

[Sarah345]

He's in a sling. He's practically in it all day but i need to have some time without him in it. It's so hard to do things with a baby strapped to you. I can't play with my other kids, cook dinner properly, iron etc.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Yes my 3rd was the same. The only thing that worked was time

Swing?
Beanbag?
Poodlepod?

 

[Bevziibubble]

I had to wear James in a sling to get anything done but I know there's somethings that you can't do while wearing baby.
I found James used to love his swing as well, it really settled him down.

 

[staralfur]

Unfortunately I'm not of much help because my LO was like this and I never found anything that helped other than holding her. But it's normal as some babies just need more comfort/contact than others. I can imagine it's very difficult with two other kids to look after.

I think you're fine in terms of feeding unless he's not having enough wet/dirty diapers. Every 1.5-2 hours sounds perfectly normal for a four week old and supplementing with formula just compromises your supply and puts you at risk of mastitis which would of course make your life even harder.

 

[Left wonderin]

I know its not much help but it does sound like he is just a baby who likes to be close to you . One thing to try is a simple thing and can help sometimes. Let him fall asleep in the sling , arms ect . Until heis asleep so you can lift his arm with no resistance and it drops , try put him down in pram ect but keep the palm of your hand flat with slight pressure on his chest for a few mins until he settles again . It helps with the startle reflex which wakes them up .

Other than that I THNK if you can ask fairness and family to come by and hold him while you get jobs done but hopefully it helps . He will grow out of it soon enough and it won't last forever but its hard going !!

 

[Left wonderin]

Ps let me know how you get on

 

[frangi33]

My 4 week old is v clingy too and feeds just as often. Its reassuring to hear others are the same.

Its terrible when you have other children that need you. X

 

[lau86]

It all sounds very normal and in the grand scheme it's a short phase. But that doesn't make it easy!
I would try and adapt yours and your older children behaviour rather than your baby, trying to get the baby to do something else is just gonna be stressful. How old are your other two? Could they understand that baby likes to be close and will cry if not? Could someone help prepare meals for the older two, packed lunches etc? You can also get nice ready meals from m&s etc specially designed for little ones. Not ideal but good in the short term.
its soooo hard the adjustment. I was about ready to pull my hair out during the early days. I tried to keep everything the same for my Other two when really I should've just stuck the tv on and enjoyed it

 

[marmoset]

Hope this is a bit reassuring - my LO sounds a lot like your baby (feeding frequently at night and would only sleep while held) - but the last couple of nights he's gone to sleep in his crib after a feed with no fuss at all! He just turned 5 weeks. So things may turn around sooner than you think. Good luck!

 

[minties]

Emma has also shown a change these last few days. She was working on smiling and cooing and I think that was making her cranky and needing cuddles. The last two days she's actually napped in the afternoons and evenings and I've been able to shower, move and cook! Never thought I'd be pleased about cooking.

 

[ParisJeTadore]

Yes, some babies just love to be held. My first was like this for roughly the first five months and hated if we sat with him. It was exhausting but he got over it eventually and became a very happy baby. All babies are different but I'd imagine that this too shall eventually pass. Agree that a carrier is a great idea!

 

[noon_child]

At four weeks old your baby still uses physical contact with you to regulate his breathing, heart rate and temperature. Add to that the fact that his survival instincts are programmed to tell him that if you aren't carrying him he is in danger! It gets easier as they stop being newborns, and start learning more about the world they live in.

 

[Breeaa]

It's normal. My Lo is the same. Google 4th trimester.

 

[Dragonfly]

The more you hold the faster it will pass.

 

[laila 44]

My third was the same. She's now 4 months old. I just kept putting her down in her space. Picking up soothing and putting her down. Holding her all day was not an option for me either my 2 older kids needed me as well. After a few weeks of doing that she became the happiest most content baby in her own space. She can sit in her chair and watch us do dinner homework etc. There was really no other way for us she just had to learn.