4 year old behaviour. advice and rant.

[DCS]

DS is driving me mad atm. His behaviour is shocking. Constantly hitting. He seems to be fine at school but at home is a whole different story. Just today, he started kicking OH for no reason. So OH told him he needed to stop, if he had to be told once more he wouldn't be allowed to go to nannies to feed the chickens. He then starts kicking me and his sister so gets told he isn't allowed to go,. This leads to him him hitting and having a meltdown and crying for 1 hour.
He has been told he needs to help tidy up his mess if he wants his friend to come round this week and he has refused to help. He has been given jobs like, put the books away and put all the pens away but he won't do it. Just throws himself over the sofa arm.
He has been hitting his sister and now she is copying his behaviour, kicking, hitting throwing, screaming. Everything he does she copies. She has every started to lean over the arm of the sofa with her hands out ready to go over.
DS asked if he could play in the garden and we said as long as he behaved himself, once OH has done the lawn he can go out. DS hates the mower, but now he is throwing himself around, jumping on OH and his sister and has been told he can't go out.
I know it's bad because OH doesn't usualy shout, even when we argue he never raises his voice but he has been shouting recently. Kind of at a loss. Not sure how to deal with it. His teacher suggested a sticker chart with a sticker for getting ready and going to school without any trouble and another for good behaviour and going bed at night with an immediate reward after getting two stickers but he just ripped it up and said he hated it .
I REALY don't know what to do anymore.

 

[k4th]

Dd went through something similar a few weeks ago. One day we literally carried her out of two shops kicking & screaming

It passed. We chalked it up to starting school & the extra pressure that was on her to learn 5 days a week.

Her behaviour has really settled & we're back to the usual for her. Not a saint - but not the little demon she was being! We have used sticker charts & we have stuck to any "threats" we've made. So if you've said he can't play with his friend unless he behaves - then mean it. We learnt the hard way to only threaten things we're prepared to carry out (one if the shops we carried dd out of was Pizza Hut. We threatened to leave if she didn't sit down & stop shouting - she didn't so we packed up & left halfway through a meal. I won't threaten that again - I was hungry!!! But then again, she won't behave like that in Pizza Hut again either!).

Maybe half term will help calm his behaviour? It is hard when they really push the boundaries

 

[DCS]

Dd went through something similar a few weeks ago. One day we literally carried her out of two shops kicking & screaming

It passed. We chalked it up to starting school & the extra pressure that was on her to learn 5 days a week.

Her behaviour has really settled & we're back to the usual for her. Not a saint - but not the little demon she was being! We have used sticker charts & we have stuck to any "threats" we've made. So if you've said he can't play with his friend unless he behaves - then mean it. We learnt the hard way to only threaten things we're prepared to carry out (one if the shops we carried dd out of was Pizza Hut. We threatened to leave if she didn't sit down & stop shouting - she didn't so we packed up & left halfway through a meal. I won't threaten that again - I was hungry!!! But then again, she won't behave like that in Pizza Hut again either!).

Maybe half term will help calm his behaviour? It is hard when they really push the boundaries

Thanks for your reply. So glad it passed for you. Unfortunately his behaviours worse at home. And he is the perfect child put the house the majority of the time. He has been poorly with a cough and cold since he started back at school so I'm hoping it's just that. His coughing is keeping him up at night so maybe he is just tired. It's also much worse when OH is home. Totally dreading when OH takes his annual leave over Christmas for 6 weeks.

 

[star1]

To be honest, 4 is still quite young for 'future' punishments like not being able to go out later. Have you tried good old fashioned time outs immediately after the bad behaviour?