44, surprise pregnancy...totally overwhelmed

[robertsv]

Hi Ladies,
I found out last week that I am pg. I'm 44 and have 3 children--17, 9 and 7. We were not ttc; in fact, we only BD once during the ENTIRE MONTH so needless to say, this is a complete shock. I've always had a 28 day cycle and when I didn't start this month, I thought maybe this was menopause---I took a pg test to rule it out and couldn't believe it. I took 3 more and all instantly were +. I don't know how to feel. We considered having one more about 5 years ago and decided that we were content with our family and happy to be done with the baby phase. Our oldest is graduating HS in May. Now, I have mixed emotions---vacillating between happy and terrified. Ironically, my own mother had me at 45--in fact, she had all 3 of her children over 40 (42, 44, 45) and is now a spry 89. I never intended to follow in her footsteps. I haven't made a drs appt yet--I'm afraid of all of the possibilities. Sounds crazy but i've been blessed with 3 uneventful, easy pregnancies and deliveries. I am so afraid of everything that could go wrong. I'm also afraid to tell anyone because I can already imagine the comments and thoughts that we have clearly lost our minds. Anyway....I'm also worried because i'm overweight. I've been working on losing weight and now this. Anyone else in a similar situation?

 

[pansorie]

I don't have much to add, but I do want to say I would not worry about being overweight. There are many women out there who are pregnant and overweight, adn still manage to have a healthy pregnancy. Of course, being pregnant, you can't help that you WILL gain weight, you can be in control over how much weight you gain. Please don't stress, and don't worry about people judging you. Good luck with everything!

 

[Christinee]

Congrats!

I am 37 and preggo with my second. My first is 16 in January. A lot of my friends seemed to have shied away from me... Like when I talk to them I just get this weird vibe and I totally think that they are thinking I am out of my mind. Even one of my family members told me she can't believe I am going to start all over. Of coarse it always makes me uneasy but whatever. Opinions are like assholes....everyone has one. That's the bottom line.

 

[Twizzie]

I so want to be in your shoes, pregnant in 40's good luck

 

[Scout]

Oh my, I had almost the same story back in 2012. I was 45 and surprise...I thought it was menopause too LOL I am single and was having a mid life fling (not proud of that) and we had sex once. I had her when I was 46. She was my first as I could never get pregnant when I was younger. I must admit that she is the very best thing that ever happened to me.

Congratulations!!

 

[mrskcbrown]

Yes please dont worry about what others think!! All that matters is you and your husbands thoughts. I am 39 and about to have my third. My eldest will be 14 next month, and I have a 3 year old. People always talk about how old Ill be when this and that happens, so what? I didnt ask for their opinions about my life. Enjoy your baby!

 

[Chilli]

Hey Robertsv
I'm 43. My oh had the snip over a year ago. He never followed it up so we abstained. One time was all it took. I'm 43. We also have 2 gorgeous healthy girls but have lost 4 babies along the awful way so I'm feeling petrified. I hope and pray that we'll get to a point when I can share with others and I really won't care what they think! If a pregnancy goes on its an amazing thing and that's all you should think about. I'm sure all will be well if you've never had problems before. I haven't even told oh yet. Only my doc in an attempt to get the meds I need

 

[ninjasherrie]

Oh man, this is practically my story! I'm 40, I have a 16 year old and an 11 year old. I really, REALLY, thought our baby days were over and was looking forward to a new phase of life. Life had other plans, apparently. I also have some serious health problems (autoimmune diseases) that really make pregnancy a totally different animal from when I was in my 20's. I'm still adjusting, but I'm often overwhelmed, and yeah, sometimes a little resentful. But I know in the end its all gonna work itself out.

 

[Chilli]

Well I'm think I'm kind of off the hook as all my tests are coming back negative. Even so I have terrible nausea, back ache and tingly boobs. Maybe it just never got off the ground with all my problems. How are you all getting on? Come to terms with other yet?

 

[Septie]

First off, congratulations!! I don't quite understand why you are shocked. Given your mother's super-fertility in her 40's (may I say Wow!!!), it's really not a big surprise that you conceived when BDing at 44... As a matter of fact, I would argue it should be expected You have managed to raise 3 other kids - it will be just fine I hope all goes well for you with this pregnancy.

 

[mommasamittc]

I know I'm a little late to reply but wanted to say congratulations, first of all! And...I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'll be 40 in August. Just found out we're expecting our 4th. I have 3 boys, 20, 13 and 1. The 1 year old was planned. We tried for 11 years and had 4 losses getting him here. I've been sick with pneumonia and the flu for almost 2 months but something told me to test, just in case. We had sex unprotected ONE time in November and nothing since because I've been so sick. I am so embarrassed and terrified. My last pregnancy was really difficult on me, the baby and my family. Everything that could go wrong, seems like it did. Baby was born healthy but he broke his nose and collarbone because he was so big. I know that it will all be ok in the end, and this baby will be just as loved as our other babies...and financially we'll work it all out. And God willing, it won't be as tough of a pregnancy....but even if it is...I made it out alive last time. I do hope everything goes well for you! It sure helps to know I'm not the only one.

 

[tag74]

Sounds like it was meant to be! Congrats!

 

[mrskcbrown]

I know I'm a little late to reply but wanted to say congratulations, first of all! And...I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'll be 40 in August. Just found out we're expecting our 4th. I have 3 boys, 20, 13 and 1. The 1 year old was planned. We tried for 11 years and had 4 losses getting him here. I've been sick with pneumonia and the flu for almost 2 months but something told me to test, just in case. We had sex unprotected ONE time in November and nothing since because I've been so sick. I am so embarrassed and terrified. My last pregnancy was really difficult on me, the baby and my family. Everything that could go wrong, seems like it did. Baby was born healthy but he broke his nose and collarbone because he was so big. I know that it will all be ok in the end, and this baby will be just as loved as our other babies...and financially we'll work it all out. And God willing, it won't be as tough of a pregnancy....but even if it is...I made it out alive last time. I do hope everything goes well for you! It sure helps to know I'm not the only one.

Congrats! Im 39, but will be 40 next week and this will be an adventure at 40 with a 13 yr old, 3 yr old and newborn

 

[mommasamittc]

I know I'm a little late to reply but wanted to say congratulations, first of all! And...I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'll be 40 in August. Just found out we're expecting our 4th. I have 3 boys, 20, 13 and 1. The 1 year old was planned. We tried for 11 years and had 4 losses getting him here. I've been sick with pneumonia and the flu for almost 2 months but something told me to test, just in case. We had sex unprotected ONE time in November and nothing since because I've been so sick. I am so embarrassed and terrified. My last pregnancy was really difficult on me, the baby and my family. Everything that could go wrong, seems like it did. Baby was born healthy but he broke his nose and collarbone because he was so big. I know that it will all be ok in the end, and this baby will be just as loved as our other babies...and financially we'll work it all out. And God willing, it won't be as tough of a pregnancy....but even if it is...I made it out alive last time. I do hope everything goes well for you! It sure helps to know I'm not the only one.

Congrats! Im 39, but will be 40 next week and this will be an adventure at 40 with a 13 yr old, 3 yr old and newborn

Aw, congrats to you as well!! I'm not nearly as worried about keeping up with another one as I am embarrassed about the idea that I should've been more careful. lol