4th miscarriage when will it end :(

[Becktoria]

So I'm meant to be 5 weeks today. Last blood draw at 600 so that was ok but last night in bath a mucus plug type thing was floating in the bath when I got out. Obviously this panicked me but I had no cramps or anything. This morning I've felt not crampy and been for another blood draw but when I went toilet I noticed blood only very light. So it looks like its game over again. Stillbirth at 36eeeks, mmc 10 weeks ectopic 6 weeks and now this. How many more knocks can 1 person take, am I ever going to get my rainbow. So sad right now can't stop crying xxx

 

[sedgeez]

big hugs!!!!! its so hard going through it once, so i really feel for you

i hope you get your rainbow soon xxx

 

[skyesmom]

oh love! i am sending you a huge huge hug no one should be put through this... but your rainbow will come, it will come i am sure of this

 

[LucyLake]

Big hugs and I'm so sorry . I hope we both get amazing rainbow babies this spring and New Years or Valentine's 2014 due dates!

 

[GaiaSN]

I am so terribly sorry for you. I just had mc #4 this week with a D&C and I so very, very much feel what you feel. How much can one person carry? I don't know right now, either, and I know what you are going through.

And I have no tears left to cry. I am not in pain. I am pain.

People say to keep trying, but it's not like we are talking about a cake that didn't turn out quite right. It takes a tremendous physical and psychological toll. When I am really down, I think of how many people suffer just like you and me. Or they lose their entire families in car accidents. Or disease. The mere fact that things like that are my point of reference now, when the world for everyone around me just keeps humming along is disorienting. Then I think about how lucky I was to be able to have surgery in a clean hospital. With time to rest. With a supportive family. And I am grateful for these things, as opposed to millions of women having to go through this, and more, under much worse circumstances. And I am tremendously sad for them, too. I guess what I am trying to say is, that for me, holding on to what I am grateful for gives me at least a little strength. It's not much, but it's something.

I send you my love. Hang on in there.

 

[LuckyW]

^^What a beautiful post, GaiaSN. And thank you for making me really smile, by saying it's not like baking a cake.


Becktoria, are you sure it's game over? Doesn't sound definitively like a miscarriage!

Huge hugs to you, regardless. It's all so horrible and frightening and disappointing and sad!