5 year old emotions. Does your LO tell you?

[DCS]

We watched a movie today, and some parts were a bit sad. Like a character hurting his foot at one point the dad died. Lo got quite upset. He started crying. When we asked what was up he said he was feeling poorly. I know it was because of the movie. About 5 times he cried but wanted to finish watching. Each time he said it was because his throat hurt, he was sweaty, he was tired etc. I feel realy bad. Like he feels he can't be honest with us. I feel like we always reassure him his emotions are ok. It doesn't matter how he feels he can always tell us. He even tells his sister it's OK to be sad. So I think he knows. But I don't understand why he puts on a brave face and says it's because of something else.
It makes it difficult because we can't always tell if he is being honest, even at school he says he is tired. He acts like such a hard nut but he is such a softie.
Does your LO tell you? What are we doing wrong? Any tips on how to get him to feel comfortable telling us?

 

[hayz_baby]

When I get upset I always get a lump in my throat. Ds1 always complains about a sore throat when he's upset so I always put it down to that.
I think at that age it can still be difficult to really understand. Like the lump in your throat isn't a sore throat but because your sad. I don't think you're doing anything wrong

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Ah, bless him. I think some kids are just like that. I remember as a kid being mortified about getting upset at a film, going to the bathroom and fake sneezing really loudly so I had something to blame my red eyes on
Lucas is the absolute opposite of me, he never cries at films but he'll sit and talk for hours about how sad it's made him.

 

[jd83]

Maybe try approaching it as how YOU are feeling from watching it, and see if that gets him to open up more about what's upsetting him? I do that sometimes with my son, if we're watching something that has a sad part. I'll say, I really didn't like that "x" got hurt, that really made me sad. How about you? And then he'll tend to tell me if it upset him or not.

 

[DCS]

Thanks ladies. I feel like iv gone wrong somewhere. I try to be honest with him and hoped he felt he could do the same. I actually did get a little teary. And I said, oh that bit was a little sad. What about u? And he said he felt fine but was a bit sweaty. I cry at adverts. Since having the kids iv become right soft and get emotional at the silliest things. Guess I will keep trying and hope one day he feels like he can talk to me.

 

[mummy2boysx]

Yes my little one does things like this. He's so sensitive x

 

[Groovychick]

My little girl can be like that too, like she feels embarrassed about being upset.

 

[Lief]

Aww poor little guy. I don't think you're doing anything wrong, maybe he was just embarrassed or like someone else mentioned he had a lump in his throat and didn't realise it was because he was sad so just said it was sore.
My son is nearly 4 and he watched The good dinosaur the other day with DH while I was having a nap. When I woke up DH told me that DS was crying during the movie and when he asked why he said because the end made him sad. Then he kinda straightened up and said no he wasn't crying it was just stupid water leaking from his eyes lol.
I reassured him that it was ok to cry if something makes him sad but he still kept insisting it was just water leaking. He has since watched another movie that made him sad and this time he told me that he gets sad because its just a sad part of the movie, so he's coming around. Maybe just keep reassuring your son that its ok and he might eventually come around or he could just be someone who doesn't like admitting he gets sad at certain things (I was like that for years lol so I know how he feels)

 

[lau86]

Was it the good dinosaur? We watched that the other week and I was quite shocked at how grown up some of the themes are. Like in frozen when the parents die. I feel it's unnecessary for little ones. I find it embarrassing getting upset watching a film as really it's nothing to do with my real life? I'm probably not explaining it well but it sounds like he knows it's ok to be upset he just doesn't want to be upset watching a film (or doesn't want to tell you)

 

[DCS]

It actually was the good dinosaur. Me and OH both agreed that some of it was just way too much for a kids movie. Since it is a kids movie we didn't pre watch to make sure it was ok for the kids. Maybe it was because he was embarrassed to be crying at a movie. I have noticed it at other times aswell though.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Ohh I sobbed like a baby at The Good Dinosaur! Lucas has banned us from owning it on DVD, it's way too sad he says

 

[Groovychick]

hun

 

[tommyg]

The Good Dinosaur is a good film, lots of kids films parents are lost making the children vulnerable.

But i maybe have a warped view I've been using the good dinosaur to introduce the idea that not all children are raised by bio parents, in preparation for introducing an adopted cousin into the family. It does have a happy ending Spot finds a new family and Arlo makes his way home to his family. It's better for Spot to be with humans who will look after him etc.

Its also good the big scary t-rexs helped them on their journey.

 

[noon_child]

I think just keep going with what you are doing explaining your own emotions, but maybe add in a bit about how emotions can make us feel physical symptoms (like lump in our throat, buzzing in our ears, hot and sweaty). I think if you are trying to suppress a cry it quite often leads to more of these physical symptoms. Maybe your boy thinks if he doesn't cry it will mean he won't "be sad" but just keep saying things like "My eyes get hot when I'm sad too" or whatever.

 

[amygwen]

Awww poor little guy!

My guy did the same thing and he is nearly 6. We watched the Good Dinosaur and we both get emotional at these types of movies. I told him that it is OK to cry, if it makes him upset and sad. But, he kept using excuses rather then admitting he was actually crying at the movie.