6 year old and trouble sleeping

[DreamCatcher_]

I am desperately clutching at straws here, hoping that someone, somewhere has the answer to my problems. I'm also not sure if I'm asking advice or just venting, as I feel dangerously close to tears.

To keep it simple: my son has never slept through the night. He is six. When I say never I am not exaggerating, he has never made it a solid nights sleep, regardless of when he goes to bed/how early he is up/how tired he is.

When he was younger we stayed with my parents and if he woke he would go in beside my mum, despite my instance that he be put back to bed. He very quickly realised that coming to mummy meant his own bed but going to granny meant he got to go in with her.
At his fathers house he also doesn't sleep in his own bed, ever, much to my annoyance and constant asking. Obviously that hasn't helped, but even when we moved to our own house nothing helped.

It got to the point where I had to sit in his room until he feel asleep and then sit there every time he woke up until he fell asleep again. We eventually go it down to me tucking him in and him falling asleep on his own, but he still woke 4/5 times a night to seek me out and I had to tuck him back in.

Recently he has went backwards - he has started to make himself throw up on purpose at bed time, with claims he is ill. I know it's on purpose, I can see him forcing it up. Things have went from crap, to manageable but still not good, straight through to downright awful.

We have a consistent routine - shower/bath, story, cuddle, bed. Always at the same time each night. Routine isn't our issue, something else is.

I am currently 10 weeks pregnant and I'm wondering if this has caused the regression, however that wouldn't explain the other 6 years and x amount of weeks of bad sleeping. There are also issues with his father which might be a contributing factor. I am going to the GP to see if I can get referred to a sleep specialist of CAHMS, who can make a diagnosis and assessment of any underlying issues and provide treatment/therapy. However, all of this makes me feel like a terrible mother. My son has not ever slept through the night, will not sleep through the night and now makes himself sick because of bedtime.

I just don't know what to do anymore

 

[Zephram]

That's tough. I'm sorry to hear you're going through that. Have yo utalked to your 6 year old and asked him what it is about bed time and sleep that worries him? Is he able to tell you what it is? Have you tried night lights and vanquishing monsters before bed and all that kind of thing?

I don't really know other than to say that consistency where he sleeps in his own bed wherever he is might help. I would definitely talk to the GP though, forcing himself to throw up is not normal behaviour and I would be very concerned if my kids did that. Maybe some counselling would help him.

ETA - you could try the gradual retreat method where you start by sitting with him right next to bed and then slowly over successive nights you sit ever so closer to the door, and then you sit in the doorway and pop out of sight for a minute just to complete a small task like pee or have a drink, and slowly make the length of time you're gone longer until he's going to sleep on his own. You would have to google for the exact method, but it's something like that. I would also avoid getting angry at him and try as hard as you can to spend one on one time with him when baby is asleep. I know it's hard when you have a new baby, but you will get through it!