6 year old 'episodes' like she is possessed!

[pregatlast]

I don't know how else to describe it! Over the last 6 months or so, every so often, for no real apparent reason, usually at bedtime, it's like a switch is flicked and my 6 year old just goes crazy. It is like she has been possessed, she lashes out, kicks, bites, hits, laughs in my face, says hurtful things, takes my glasses off and throws etc etc. There's absolutely no reasoning with her, it's like she is out of control, then just as suddenly as it started, it stops and she starts to cry and says she's sorry and didn't mean it.

I've tried talking to her about feeling and anger and worry and alternative ways of dealing with it etc etc.

Tonight it happened again, she bit me bad tonight. I tried to talk to her, tried to hug her, she kept lashing out so my 8 year old and I went to another room. The switch flicked back and she was at the door crying saying she was so sorry and loved us and it wasn't her doing those things it was her body making her. She said it's like someone is pushing all the bad things out of her and she trys to stop it buy they won't let her?! We had a huge cuddle.

5 mins later it happened again and she bit me again and her teeth locked and she would not let go to the point I was in tears and my 8 year old was in tears. We left the room again before I went crazy (worst reaction, I know) Same thing, 10/15 mins later she was crying saying her body made her do it and she was sorry.

It's totally out of character. She's such a happy, carefree loveable and crazy wee girl! Nobody else sees this side of her, which I guess is a good thing, but it's so hard to know what to do.

Something must be causing this and I want to understand what so I can help her deal with it. Has anyone else experienced this? What causes it? How can I help? How can I better deal with it in the meantime? I'm wracked with guilt that I can't handle it well, that I can't help her and that my 8 year old is neglected as a result.
(I'm a single parent so nobody else here to be able to try to help etc)

Any advice would be very very much appreciated. Thank you x

 

[noon_child]

It sounds like she's struggling regulating her emotions and when she's overtired, hungry, stressed that's going to flick the switch. A stress response is a physical response so her description that her body is making her do these things is probably quite accurate. She'll feel her fists clench, her jaw tighten, her face get hot etc. It may be co-inciding with school work getting more difficult - this will be using up a lot of her energy, so by the end of the day she's just run out of an ability to control her self/express herself.

On a practical side an earlier bed time might work really well, and making sure these lighter mornings aren't waking her up too early either.

That being said (that it's a normal response to running out of impulse control) that doesn't mean it's OK that she's hurting you. If she needs to bite, she must bite a blanket, sponge, cushion NOT you. Helping her to recognise whether she has early warning signs (before the switch flicks) might help to re-direct her rage at appropriate inanimate objects, help her recognise when she needs a breathing exercise, to cool her face down, punch a pillow, scream, rip up some paper etc. Have a look at stress management resources and go through with her (in a calm moment) exercises around recognising her early warning signs.

 

[pregatlast]

Thanks, I'll try these things. X

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Does she have routine? Rules? Discipline? If not, nothing you do will help.

 

[Bella1185]

Overtired.

very common - not possessed although all of us who have overtired kids agree they sure seem like it

start bedtime at least an hour earlier (two to be safe and if you can) and get her into bed well before this starts! It seems like overkill but it makes a world of difference

 

[Bevziibubble]

She might be overtired like the other posters have said. My DD's behaviour deteriorates when she's overtired even if she seems really wide awake and energetic, she just can't switch off once she reaches a certain point of tiredness.

 

[noon_child]

She might be overtired like the other posters have said. My DD's behaviour deteriorates when she's overtired even if she seems really wide awake and energetic, she just can't switch off once she reaches a certain point of tiredness.

Yes - extra energy is my daughters main overtired symptom - always has been. Even when she was a baby the whole family would be all excited that she was so enthusiastic about wanting to play and I'd be thinking "She needs sleep, she's going to scream for hours and I'm the one who has to try to put her to bed."

 

[pregatlast]

Argh I just lost my reply.
Thanks for all the replies.
Yes, we have structure, routine, boundaries etc although they are becoming increasingly difficult to enforce with this behaviour.
Today has been awful. I'm broken. I'm at a complete loss as to what to even do.
Last night and tonight I've start bedtime earlier. I've made it clear that's what's happening. We got into bed, cuddled up, read for 45 mins, with lots of reminders there were only x pages to go before lights off.
Lights off time and she just switches, she starts laughing in my face, kicking, biting, screaming, yelling, slamming doors, pulling her sisters hair etc. I told her over and over, as calmly as I could, it's OK to feel angry, we all feel angry, but it is never ever OK to hurt anyone. Pointless. She doesn't even hear/listen, she just goes nuts. She says she won't stop until she gets what she wants, which tonight was more stories, last night it was TV. She claims it's not her, it's someone else in her body making her do this and this person wants stories. On the one hand, I'd happily read more, but at the same time, there has to be a limit, selfish as it sounds, I am getting absolutely no time to myself and I'm starting to struggle a lot, plus she needs to learn that she can't always get what she wants and she can't be allowed to think she can scream at me and ill give in. Tonight I had to. We had an episode last night, then another thos morning and another this afternoon before another tonight (this is the first I remember through the day, it's usually night). I fought her for 40 mins. I physically restrained her to protect her sister. She didn't care, she carried on screaming and hitting. I had to walk away. I am sitting in the living room in the dark with absolutely no idea what to do or how I'm going to handle any more episodes like this. I can hear her in her room thumping about. I actually don't want to go up there, how ridiculously stupid is that, I'm scared of my 6 year old!

So what can I do? Bedtime is 7pm, lights off at 7.30. I lie with them until they go to sleep. This is often 9.30/10pm.
Last night and tonight was bed at 6.30, lights off at 7. It made no difference. There's only so early I can go! My 8 year old will protest too, but the youngest won't go to bed if the oldest isn't and it's very hard enforcing anything with her. Oh crikey I dunno what to do, have I totally messed it all up for myself? I truly don't know anymore. Thanks for listening x

 

[ParisJeTadore]

I know this post is a couple months old but has anything changed or improved? While I agree that an overtired child can be a difficult one this seems like a challenging and stressful situation. Personally, I would seek a professional opinion. Talk with her pediatrician and if that doesn’t provide a useful answer definitely consider speaking to a child psychologist. I’m sorry your are dealing with this!