6 years ttc, feeling so depressed and discouraged.

[Kimiw]

Me and my husband have been TTC for 6 years. We did take 2 years off but in October 2011 we decided we wanted to try again. I am starting to feel that heartache that struck us both before we decided to take the 2 years off. I am just feeling so sad and discouraged. Before we took time off we tried Clomid, Femara and Metformin and nothing made me ovulate (I have PCOS and recently diagnosed with MTHFR Genetic Mutation). I am seeing a new RE who hasn't started me on a treatment plan yet because he reccomended IVF but DH and I cannot afford it so now we are just waiting to see if there are some other options. DH has had a Semen Analysis done and he is fine, its all me. I am 30 years old and I am just really feeling hopeless and sad. I don't mean to complain or bring anybody down but I am just feeling depressed and my longing to be a mother won't leave. Neither of us are ready to move on to adoption, as selfish as it sounds, we want our OWN children. Many of suggested adoption and we know many children need homes but we are not ready to kiss our biological child goodbye if you know what I mean.

 

[rosebud_01_99]

hi there, i know how depressing this is,ive been ttv now 17 yrs and no baby, it dosnt get any easier does it, its very hard on a marriage as well.i just wonder why we are so unlucky to be cursed with this while every other tom dick and harry seem to be able to pop out babies like nobodys business. (yes im bitter). its just all so unfair theres no other word for it .
rosebud

 

[Madgirl]

I know how you feel.

 

[Kimiw]

Hi Rosebud, that is exactally how I feel. I know a few people who curse the fact they have kids and always make comments about how having children has made their life hell. Many of my friends had children fairly young, some still in high school, and they tell me I am luckly?? Yes, I can be bitter too, and I hate that about me. I can't even stand to hear yet another pregnancy announcement on facebook by friends or even family. I always find myself having to seperate myself from it, in fact, it takes me a few weeks to push myself to send them a "congrats". When I get an invited to a baby shower I get even more jealous because it feels like they are waving it in my face, I know thats not what they are trying to do, but thats how it makes me feel. I cannot believe how jealous I have become, people probably think I hate children lol, which is so not true. I just want one so bad it is just hurting me so much.