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[chiapso]

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[greeneyes0279]

I've gone through those same feelings. I had a mc back in February. Hope you get your BFP this cycle.

 

[smurf1]

I go through the same feelings. It seems that it happens all at once, everywhere I look someone is cradeling a new baby or a new announcement is made that they are expecting.

It will go away it is just so difficult to live through, for feeling guilty for feeling jealous.

You are strong and will get there!! big hugs

 

[3xscharmer]

It's totally normal and OKAY. I had 2 m/c's before my daughter and 2 since with the 4th being september 16 and even though I've had a healthy one I'm still at that angry and jealous stage myself but I know that it does pass and remind myself if I wouldn't have miscarried the first 2 babies then my daughter wouldn't be here... and when I have my next baby I will know that those m/c's had to happen for me to bring him/her into this world. Trust me, when you're laying in that hospital bed holding your brand new little miracle, you're going to understand why you had to let this baby go and you are going ti be so grateful and an even better mom to that new little one b/c you'll know exactly how easy it is to lose something so precious. Good luck and I hope we all get our sticky beans soon!

 

[babydust818]

That's exactly how i feel. My friend got pregnant one month before me and another one month after me. I look at them and see they are still definitely pregnant. It pisses me off. I hate hearing ' we heard the heartbeat!' Or 'i know you're upset about your m/c but it will happen. Anyways, I'm 15 weeks day'. That shit irritates me. I just wanna tell them to go f themselves bcz they got no idea how much more badly you want a baby even after you lose it. It's not something you can talk about with just anyone. Only people i feel like i can listen to is the ones who have been through it as well. Jealousy is a huge factor of my life ever since the m/c. It's normal. Just try to be as positive as you can though. It's going to happen. Just like for me, it will happen. It sucks waiting... But one day we will get to brag.

 

[ladydray]

Hi,
All definitley very normal, i lost keilan last march and didnt really start gettin mad till this year and it seemed somedays to consume me, its not that i wished they would go thru the same as me but it just seemed unfair that my baby was taken and i haven had another chance!
I cant say mine has gone completely yet but it is getin better
A friend of mine (who should really know better) has just announced she is pregnant, after 1 month of trying, she lost a little boy a couple of years back at 20 weeks, then turned to me and had the cheek to say well you arent trying hard enough because look at me i got pregnant straight away!
before i was happy for her now i just dont wanna hear a single thing about her pregnancy!
if you do ever need a chat hun im around, anger is a huge part of grief too xxxx

 

[Tweak0605]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I've been feeling this way ever since my MMC in March, aside from the week in June I was pregnant again. Sadly, that ended in another m/c. It isn't the person I am - I'm usually such a happy person, not angry or bitter. After my losses, I feel like such a horrible person. I've had to hide so many people on FB because I can't stand to here about their pregnancies.

I think the worse, is that DH's cousin announced her pregnancy a month ago. That made me the most angry, not because they can barely afford to take care of themselves, but WE were supposed to have the next baby in the family. Now, we're not. I think that's what makes me the most upset.

 

[Twinkie210]

I completely understand. My SIL just had her third daughter and loves to bitch about how hard it is and how they don't have any money (Boo fricken Hoo). My cousin is 26 weeks pregnant and her and her new husband don't have a pot to piss in, but they get a healthy baby. Me I did everything right this time, I finished two college degrees, have been married 5 years, have a good career and I get a MC and a bunch of BFNs. Seriously why? To top it off I just went to a rememberance walk for my little angel and I get a BFN that day too. Now I am waiting for AF to start again. It just sucks!

 

[chiapso]

I'm really amazed about how many people feel like I do, thank you for the support!

I know other people dont mean to rub in your face they have children but it feels that way! i know if i manage to get pregnant again i'll want to tell the world, but i'll also tell of the baby I lost and how much pain i had to go through to get to where I am now.

 

[Smiler82]

It's so normal to be angry, jealous etc. I just spent Saturday night crying and crying and crying - my sister is expecting her 2nd and it's due at Christmas, so the family were all sitting round trying to think of 'christmassy' names and talking about what to do if there's lots of snow when she goes into labour. Me and DH were just sat there at the end of the table thinking, do you all really have to talk about this now? We don't live nearby and you choose the day we visit to talk about this? When we have lost 2 and trying so desperately hard to get pg again? Whereas there you are with 2 very easily-conceived and healthy pregnancies? Argh!

My only advice really would be to try and protect yourself. If it makes you angry seeing what the teen pregnancy section says then don't read it. Surround yourself with us lot who know what it's like and can give you the sympathy you need. I know it's hard though - I also had some strange kind of self-destruct button, I would've been due around the time Kate Hudson and if I saw pics of her online I just had to look. And then MSN did this celebrity pregnancy feature and I sat there and scrolled through all the photos of pregnant ladies... and looking at my friend's pics on facebook of her growing belly and scan photos... it hurt me so much but I couldn't tear myself away for some reason. It's mad the things we do to ourselves isn't it xxx

 

[colta]

It's so very normal to feel this way. It was and still is one of my own hang up's right now. I had an ectopic pregnancy that we caught at the end of August and the jealously and anger has been one of the hardest things to get over.
Of course, it was compounded by the fact that shortly after I lost my baby, my 18 year old cousin got his 16 year old girlfriend pregnant. It made me so angry and upset and part of that is because they're young and really shouldn't be having a baby right now and partly (and this is extremely petty of me) because our baby was going to be the first great-grandchild and now it never will be. It crushes me that I can't give my grandmother that and yet a bunch of teenagers can.

My only advice is deal with it in your own time. No one (at least the people who understand), expects you to feel hunky-dory about everything. Being angry and jealous and shaking a fist at those who don't have our unfortunate luck is just part of what's happened. But I feel for you, and I hope that this gets better eventually.

 

[Pocketrocket]

i too feel so jealous of others after my MC last week. Every where I turn there are babies or pregnant friends or famous pregnant people in magazines or on the tv. Its unbelievably hard but we will get our precious babies in the end and they will be that little bit more special. Good luck you all you ladies in achieving your baby dreams. I feel utterley devastated at my loss but i know if i want to have my so wanted 2nd baby i would go through anything to get there. Keep strong xxx

 

[AmandaBaby]

Awe!! I feel for you so much and I wish I could take our pain away!!
Lately I think i'm feeling even more upset and angry then I was when the MC happened. I have all of these memories of when I was in hospital MC'ing and it breaks my heart to remember how incredibly heartbroken I was I feel so alone, it's like, I could be feeling really upset sometimes and it's like I just want to tell someone, "you know what.. i'm really not okay and I just want my baby back" but I don't feel like anyone (outside B&B) understands I'm sick of people complaining about their babies kicking them in the ribs etc. WHAT I WOULD GIVE FOR THAT!!! :'( My OH is sitting in the lounge room at the moment while i'm in our office feeling angry and emotional, anyway, 16 and pregnant came on before and he called me out because one of the girls was having a C section and he wanted to know if I wanted to see it. I just snapped at him and was like, "DO YOU THINK I WANNA SEE THAT!!!!!!!!??" :'( Argh, I just want to cry all the time I want my baby back and I want to be a mum!!
Always here for you if you want to talk! xx

 

[starryeye31]

I feel the same way hun , So many of my friends are prego right now and alot of them are due around the time the baby I lost was due (Hugzz)

 

[Mitra]

oh dear, I am really sorry for you loss. I lost my baby on Aug 20 and still after two month I can't satnd seeing any pregnant woman or new born baby without my heart getting broken again and again. it is really an agony and time pass doesnt do too much as a relief for me.I am also on TTC now and spending horrible time waiting each cycle. the owrst ever time of my life.
hope your pain eases off over time and mine too.

 

[Rashaa]

Oh ,my gosh, this thread personifies everything I have been feeling! I just lost my baby on Wednedsay....why the ef do they call it a 'chemical' pregnancy, there is nothing chemical about the cramps, bleeding and pain I have been feeling. There was nothing chemical about the muscular white clots that I passed!

This is our 2nd m/c, and our first baby would have been the first grandchild, but my dh's brothers [stupid, rude, ignorant] wife got that title! The whole family hates her, and she got pregnant to win the family back to her..how funny it backfired right in her face. Thankfully, they are loving to the baby, but hate the mom even more. *sigh*

Anyway, I am scheduled for fibroid surgery next month, once it is done (may take more than one procedure) we will think about trying again. I dont think I can bare another m/c, and don't know if I want to go through this again. It's too painful, I know I am still emotional and in flux, but gosh it's hard some days.

 

[Amber4]

Hey. I've just currently popped over from teen pregnancy, as I was curious as to why you were leaving "rude" comments. I'd just like to point out that a lot of us girls over there are so sorry for your loss. I have suffered a loss myself (which I don't talk about, as I just don't feel I'm ready yet) and it really hurts reading some of the comments you've made. It's also so offensive you choose to bash just the teen pregnancy board. (Just because we are young doesn't make us any less equal to anyone else.) If you spent some time over there getting to know us you'd realise that were actually lovely girls.

Although I'm so sorry for your loss. Be aware that you aren't the only one to suffer a loss too. The comments you leave and your reasoning behind them are really no excuse.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I have also popped over from teen pregnancy.

Hun, I am soo sorry for your loss- really, it's not any thing you would wish on your worst enemy and wish you every bit of luck in the future ttc.

But I don't think it's fair you should just point out young mums as not deserving to have children- the benefit help threads, rants about stretchmarks etc. are ALL just as common on the 1st/2nd/3rd tri threads with the older mothers!

i'm not trying to cause arguments but surely you should understand that certain comments are upsetting and some of us young mums-to-be find generalisations and negative comments hurtful? I'm only 18 and my OH is only 19 but we are working so hard- we both work full-time jobs and support ourselves 100% financially which is a great deal better than some older mothers!

While it's really sad you're dealing with a loss like many others (including some girls on the teen pregnancy section) it's really not fair to make hurtful and unfair comments on young mothers, when a lot of it is really untrue or when exactly the same can be said about older mums too. xx
xx

 

[chiapso]

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[Nade..Tadpole]

I just read in the help section that you didnt recieve any IM/PM's

Saying things like teenagers/crappy parents... really?

I'm going to be a young mum and use teenage pregnancy as I relate there better..
I'm hardworking as is my OH.. though due to our situation I will be claiming some benefit to help with rent..

This isnt the first thing you have posted that I and others have found rude, upsetting or offensive..
If you dont like what you read in TP then dont go there?

We wont make crappy parents.. and if you bothered to know some of us before making a generalised comment than you would realise that...

We deserve our babys just as much as you deserve to concieve again....
Sorry for your loss and wish you every luck in the future.